Emma
by ksjf2012
Summary: New story. Teenage BTR in high school. AU. OC. Sorry I haven't been on...if you have a story of mine you want me to finish let me know. Review please!
1. Chapter 1

"Miss. Mathews!" I smiled bright up at the man walking out of his office towards me. He was a short stubby man with gray facial hair and thick dark rimmed glasses. He was wearing a dark brown suit that was too small, hugging around his over sized belly. "1st and 2nd period with us!" I laughed quietly and hugged around my fresh new text books. He gently set a hand on my shoulder and led me around the front office where a small little cubicle was set up for the office aid. Me. I gently set my text books down and put my bag on the chair sighing out. "I know you want to go see friends so go on ahead and when 1st period starts well get you started on some paperwork!" I nodded and waved softly at the principle as he walked back to his desk. I sighed out and quickly made my escape from the office. Everyone in our tiny school knew I was a nerd but having office aid for two periods was like the icing on the nerd cake. Luckily I wasn't an outcast. In fact I guess you could say I was one of the popular girls. I was pretty. And my parents were rich. And I hung out with jocks and cheerleaders. And up until Friday my life was perfect. But there was a dark cloud over top of me and all I felt was sadness. It didn't help that the cause of my sadness was walking towards me with two of my best friends.

I clutched onto the Starbucks cup in my hand as I made my way towards them. The first one to spot me was my best friend in the entire world, Mandy. She was wearing a small black skater skirt that went down to just mid-thigh. She had on a pair of Converse and her school shirt tucked into her skirt. Her long straight blonde hair was resting on her shoulders and her makeup was flawless on her skin. I envied her. Not on looks or her perfect athletic talents. But because she had confidence that I wanted. I needed it. "Emma!" I forced a smile as she ran to me and linked two of our arms together. She leaned into me putting her mouth by my ear and I smirked smelling her boyfriend's cologne on her. "Because James is grounded he had to ride with Logan. If I had my way Logan wouldn't be around you but…" I smiled and shook my head just as they walked up to us. I locked eyes with Logan but looked away fast knowing at any moment I would crumble and rush into his arms. I had to stay strong. Instead of looking at him I turned to James who had a huge hickey on his neck and a bigger smile on his face.

"Not even first period and you already marked him up." I turned to Mandy with an eyebrow raised and she was smiling at James.

"Why do you think he got grounded?" I rolled my eyes looking away from all three of them and tensed up hearing Logan clear his throat.

"Can we talk?" I looked down at my black pants on my legs and felt Mandy let me go.

"We're gonna go…over here…" I looked up quick and watched Mandy get pulled away by James who was looking anywhere but at us. Mandy mouthed sorry but I just shrugged. When she looked up to James smacking his chest I turned quick to see Logan right in front of me. I swallowed hard looking down his body and took him in. Logan was…a God. He was built like a rock but had a heart of Gold. He was sculpted in all the right areas and since Friday night I knew exactly he looked like under his pants but no matter how good he looked…no matter how sweet his smile was, or how soft his hands were, it would never make up for what he did to me three nights ago.

"Em…" I backed away from his touch and locked eyes with him. He brown eyes were sad but I didn't care. "I'm sorry about Friday. I didn't mean to…"

"To what Logan? Betray my trust? Hurt my feelings? Say horrible things to me al because I wouldn't get in bed with you?" I shook my head and tucked brown hair behind my ear. "I was serious Logan. Were done. I don't want to be with you anymore. I know I can't stop seeing you. My best friend is dating your best friend but…I'm done. I don't love you anymore."

"Don't say that. Please babe." He reached out for me but I just took the final big gulp of my coffee and quickly tossed it into the garbage can behind him. I shoved his hands off my hips and shook my head.

"I'm not your babe. And don't touch me ever again." His posture fell and I turned quick. I locked eyes with Mandy who was looking at me, James's arms around her, chin resting on her head. The height difference was adorable. But their couple cuteness was nueasating. I waved at her to come over to me and I started walking towards the gym. I heard her run up behind me. She linked eyes with me again and I sighed out. "Do you think I made a mistake? I mean…do you think I should have just slept with him?" I looked over at her and saw her smirk as she looked straight ahead. "What?" She laughed and looked down walking me slowly towards the school gym. Well, one of them. "What Mandy?" She looked over at me as we continued to walk and squeezed my arm.

"Well…I was just thinking about it last night. About how I wish I would have wanted to have sex with James." I frowned and looked back ahead of us seeing more kids walk past us. "I love James. I have since freshman year. But from the very beginning he was very physical. That boy has a lot of hormones. And because I love him, I thought if I didn't give him head or let me fuck me in the back of his truck…"I gagged in her ear and she laughed pulling the gym door open for me. "Stop it…my point is, I thought if I didn't let him do those things I would lose him. It wasn't until we heard you two broke up, and I confessed all this to him that he confessed something back." She stopped us and got right in front of me holding my arms. "James only asked me to have sex with him because he felt pressure from his friends. If he had known I was hesitant he wouldn't have done it. But the very first night after we had sex I cried. It was painful and I hated James a little for it. If I could go back to that stupid sophomore girl and tell her to wait I would. Unless you know for sure you're in love, don't do it. And unless you know for sure Logan is someone who you want to spend that special time with, don't do it. So no…I don't think you're stupid. I'm actually jealous of you because you still have the V card." I blushed and looked at some small girls walking past us. I could tell they were freshman.

"There's just one problem." She gave me a sad smile, and I could tell she knew what I was going to stay. "I do love him. And every time I see him, I just want to cry and throw myself at him." She pouted her red puffy lips at me and pulled me in quick for a hug. I laid my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes letting her raspberry scent invade my nostrils.

This wasn't how I wanted my first day back to school to be. I didn't want my senior year to start off with pain and sadness. Luckily my first two periods were office aid and it was so busy I didn't have time to think about the sadness. But when third and fourth period came along all I had were my thoughts. Because I was a nerd and took a lot of advanced classes during my first three years, I only had to sit through English and math classes, two of which were my favorite. I had a few friends in each class but it wasn't enough to get me to stop thinking about what happened Friday night. Logan came over to my house. I was alone with my cat while my parents went to a dinner party. At first it was nice. We watched a movie and ate pizza. It wasn't until I sat almost on top of him that he started to go too far. I wanted to make out. And that's all we were doing. But when his hands started to run up and down my legs in between them it got heated. I'll admit…I loved feeling him on me touching me. But when he started to unbutton my pants a red light went off in my head. I pushed him away and told him I wanted to wait. He laughed and only went back for some more. I finally got off him and told him to leave. He asked me how long I was going to make him wait. I told him to leave once more and he got up, furious. He called me a cock tease. And he called me bitch. I shoved him out of the house, not before I broke up with him and now…"Miss Mathews?" I looked up from my blank notebook and saw my math teacher smiling down at me shaking her head. "Lunch time sweetheart." I stood up fast and said goodbye to her softy, walking out fast.

I walked down the hallway and stopped in front of my locker. I shoved my math text book in the open locker and grabbed my small blue and white stripped backpack. I shut my locker hard and walked out into our very open and beautiful campus. It was huge with rolling fields. Literally to get to the main football field you had to go over two hills. It was beautiful especially at the end of the summer. And because there was no fast food place within a mile of our school everyone ate on campus. And my group of friends and I sat at the same spot every day for the past three years. This was no different. I walked out to the huge apple tree already seeing Mandy and James sitting under it. Mandy was sitting crossed legged in front of James open legs. She was facing him so I knew if he really wanted to, he could see up her skirt. Probably the whole point of her sitting the way she was. I walked up behind her quietly and smiled at James who gave me a small one back. "Logan is off with Carlos somewhere. You're free to bitch about him." I frowned slumping down next to him, leaning against the tree. "He told me what happened…between you two. But Mandy is telling me something entirely different."

"James…" Mandy pushed her sunglasses up off her face and set them on her head. She gave James a threatening look but he didn't budge. He simply tossed a green grape in his mouth before turning to me shaking his head.

"He's telling me…along with the entire male population at this school you threw yourself at him. And then you freaked out and told him he was going too far. And then he broke up with you cause you're a pshyco cock tease." Mandy slapped his chest hard as I felt the blood leave my face. Of course Logan would turn it around on me. "She deserves to know. I know Logan alright. I don't believe a fucking word he says. If he's going to be a prick about it…"

"I can handle myself." I saw James give me a sad look but I ignored him pulling my packed lunch from my bag. "There is no one in this entire school I care about, except you two. And it means a lot to me that you believe me James…even with the bros before hoes thing." He snorted next to me, opening Mandy's diet coke for her and I glared at him eating a tomato from my salad.

"First of all…you would have to be a ho for that to be true. And you're not." I blushed looking to Mandy who was smiling small at me. "And second Logan is a good guy. But only to other guys. The way he talks about girls…I can't believe you stayed with him as long as you did." I frowned stabbing my plastic white fork in my salad and shook my head.

"He was never that way to me." It went quiet beside me and I was grateful. The way my morning played out was starting to make since. Guys were giving me horrible stares. They all heard what Logan was saying about me. I was a slutty cock tease. Well…who cares? I know I didn't. Alright…that's a lie but Logan would never know that.

"Who is that?" I looked up quick shoving a fork full of hearty salad in my mouth and looked to where Mandy was looking. Walking towards us, much to my hatred was Logan and one of their friends, Carlos. And walking behind them was a guy I didn't recognize. He was tall and lean. He had a big smile on his face that showed off nice perfect white teeth. He had dark blonde hair styled to today's fashion. Shaved off on the sides, with the middle and top part gelled back. He was wearing a Kurt Cobain shirt and had black skinny jeans on. Someone missed the school uniform. And as they got closer I could see tattoos on his arms and he had small gauges in his ear. His look screamed bad boy. But when they stopped right by us, I saw dark green eyes that sliced over my soul and pierced me. He was gorgeous. He actually took my breath away. I quickly swallowed my salad and set it down looking to Logan who sat down across from me. I saw in the corner of my eye the other two sit down next to James but looked to Logan. Everything James told me came rushing to my mouth and I spit it out.

"So I threw myself at you?" He frowned looking to James but turned quickly back to me. "I don't care what you tell people. In fact I hope you tell your own story. It just gives me more reason to hate you."

"Have you guys met Kendall?" Carlos spoke but I kept staring at Logan. He looked genuinely upset. Like he knew he fucked up. But until he was kissing my feet and begging for forgiveness I wouldn't take him back. Actually…maybe not even then. "He moved up here from California. He's a funny guy and has some hot ass pictures of girls on the beach so…" I looked away from Logan and saw Kendall smirking. He had his legs pulled up to his chest and his forearms resting on his knees. When I looked at his face we locked eyes and his smile fell off his perfect face. I blushed looking back down at my salad and picked it up slowly. "Uhm so this is Mandy and James. Been banging since sophomore year, and that's Emma over there. Besides Logan…smartest kid at this school." I blushed some more looking up over at Carlos who gave me a huge grin. I smiled back shaking my head stabbing at my salad. "So who as gym next period?" I perked up and looked back to Carlos raising my eyebrow.

"You have 5th period gym?" He nodded taking a bite of his sandwich. "Thank God. Now I'll know someone will be in there who can catch me if I fall off the rope." Carlos laughed putting his head back and again I looked to Kendall. He was staring at me. When he got caught staring he looked away and lowered his legs. He grabbed a small bag of chips and opened it quick.

"James…" I looked over to Logan who was standing and walking away. James sighed out but got up quick following after. I ignored them as best as I could but Logan's voice carried. "How could you tell her that?" I rolled my eyes finishing my salad and let Mandy move up next to me taking James seat. She leaned in fast clutching my arm.

"He hasn't stopped staring at you." I froze and looked over to Kendall, who again was staring at me. I smiled small and he saw it. He smiled back and cleared his throat.

"I think I'm in gym with you guys too." He sat back a little and pulled a little sheet of paper out of his pocket. He looked at it quick before shoving it back in his pocket and smiled at me. "If it makes you feel any better…I am not athletic at all. You won't be the only one falling on your face." I laughed quietly and felt my stomach flutter. He was giving me butterfly's. "So…what's up with that?" He motioned over to James and Logan, and Carlos glanced back shaking his head.

"Well Logan is a dumb ass. He got dumped by the hottest chick in this school and is talking shit about her. That girl happens to be Emma, and James and Emma have lived next door to each other since diapers. He's protective."

"And he knows if I say anything to Logan I'll kick his ass." I sighed at Mandy who was eating from James grapes looking through her phone.

"He must be a dumb ass to lose her." I snapped my head to Kendall quick and blushed. He smiled taking a sip of his water and before I could say something…hopefully flirty, the bell rang. I swallowed hard picking up my bag and shoving my empty Tupperware in my bag. As I stood Carlos linked arms with me and started dragging me to the gym. I looked back to Mandy who waved big and secretly pointed to Kendall and then made a kissy face. I rolled my eyes and got right next to Carlos, Kendall on the other side of him. "So this school…this town…pretty hung up on sports?"

"We dominate in everything we do. I've been on varsity football the past three years. You know…we could use a new running back. You look like you could run pretty fast." I raised an eyebrow over at Kendall and took in his height. He was tall. As tall as James. I could just imagine sitting in between his legs, his long arms wrapped around my body. I shook the image out of my head as Carlos opened the gym door for me and I walked in, in front of them.

"I already told you. No sports for me. More of an…artist. I was the school newspaper photographer at my old school. Hoping I could get into it here." I glanced up to Kendall as he walked beside me to the bleachers.

"Well the process to get on the paper is pretty gruesome." He frowned down at me and I smiled. "I run it." He laughed looked back ahead just as we stopped in front of the bleachers. "We could use another photographer though…you'll have to show me some work."

"Maybe over coffee?" My cheeks flushed quickly and I heard Carlos snicker next to me. I locked eyes with Kendall who didn't even flinch. I swallowed a hard lump but was saved by the bell. Literally the last bell rang and the gym teacher walked in. I looked over to him quick and sat up straight trying to look interested. I wasn't. In fact watching Kendall pull out a notebook form the corner of my eye and write something down kept my attention. Even as Coach called roll. He ripped the paper and I watched as he bent back down to his bag putting the notebook away. He also slipped the piece of paper into my bag, after folding it twice. I blushed again and quickly, as soon as the coach dismissed us to change I charged to the girls locker room. I took my locker number from the female assistant coach and opened it quick. I set my bag inside the metal cage and reached in quick. I pulled the paper out quick and unfolded it. Written in a rather sloppy hand writing was a ten digit number. Underneath it was a small message. All it said was "coffee tonight?" My heart fluttered and my toes went numb. I did the only thing I could think of and pulled out my phone. I quickly pulled up my messages and went to Mandy. She would know what to do. Hopefully.


	2. Chapter 2

" _Be safe tonight. Not too late out."_ I smirked down at my phone resting on my lap as I sat in the girls locker room waiting for Mandy in the shower. There was a lot of arm twisting Mandy had to do to convince me to go out with her and James and a few other people. After school ended I had a million and one things to do. I tried to get involved with every club at school and it almost overwhelmed me. Almost. The only think I didn't participate in was sports. I went to events, especially because Mandy was head cheerleader but I honestly got bored at them. So while she went to practice with the football players, I dealt with the newspaper, the debate club and theater. When I finished up at 5 I ran into Mandy who made me sit down in the locker room while they talked about their upcoming season. And before she took a shower she told me James and Carlos, and unfortunately Logan wanted to go grab some dinner and I was invited. I told her my parents would never let me on the first day of school, but I just got the text from my father. Mandy must have talked to him. "Hey Emma." I glanced up and smiled at the beautiful girl walking towards me. Camille. She had bouncy, curly brown hair and flawless skin. And right now she was wrapped in a towel sitting on the bench across from me. "So…I think I found your first big story of the year. All these freshman girls…uglier than the art in the theater." I frowned, quickly typing a thank you into my phone to my dad and tensed up watching her towel drop to the floor. I wasn't prude…okay maybe a little. But mostly I was self-conscience. These girls were knock outs. Perfect bodies, and perfect ego's to match. Except Mandy. She was modest and shy. Sometimes. "So…" I glanced up cautiously and watched Camille step in a pair of black laced panties, matching the bra she was already wearing. She turned to me, smile wide and set her manicured nails on her hips. "You and Logan." I looked down quick and set my feet on the ground nervously tapping them. "I've heard some stuff. You broke up with him?" I laughed but nodded pulling my newest book I checked out form the library, out of my bag. I was a huge nerd. I liked to read for fun. "So does that mean he's available?" Did I mention how much of bitch Camille was? "Cause…no offense girl but he is definitely not the type to just sit around and wait for sex. He's a ball of raging hormones waiting to burst. And you apparently couldn't handle that."

"Camille…you are such a bitch." I smiled big at Mandy as she sauntered in, still soaking wet, also only in a towel. But she saved me. More so she saved Camille but whatever. "Just because Emma has this thing called class doesn't mean you have to be a cunt."

"Ouch bitch." I stared up between the two who were smiling. Camille laughed as she pulled on a pair of black jeans and a plain red shirt. Cut low in the front. I looked to Mandy who gave me a sad sympathetic smile. "If you guys are still dating I won't do anything. But no one as good looking as Logan should be alone too long."

"Well…he's a big boy. And he's not my property. If you want to date him, be my guess." Mandy smirked at Camille who was staring at me brushing her hair.

"I know you love those sloppy seconds Camille." Camille flipped Mandy off but they both giggled. I've been a girl for 17 years, and yet I missed the part where were bitches to each other but remained friends. "Besides…the new guy has his eyes locked on Emma already. Which if I wasn't with James…" I kicked out to Mandy's leg as she dropped her towel. She looked back at me as she pulled on a bra and panties. "All I'm saying is he's got this way about him…like he glides through here. He's untouchable. And quiet bangable."

"So not Emma's type." The blood drained from my face and Camille laughed grabbing her bag, slipping some flats on her pretty feet. "See you girls tomorrow." She turned quick and rushed past some girls, yelling at some younger girls to get out of her way. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at Mandy who was lotioning up her arms smiling small.

"She is such a bitch." Mandy shrugged pulling on a little yellow sundress she had hanging in her locker. I sighed out shoving my book back in my bag looking at the note I had hidden from everyone except Mandy. I ignored it again and closed my bag standing up slowly. "My dad told me not too late tonight. How'd you convince him?"

"I told him we were going to be cutting Logan's dick and balls off and each taking a piece to feed to a pack of wild boars." I smiled small and watched her run her fingers through her hair, grabbing her black purse. "I promise I will never leave your side tonight." I nodded letting her link arms with me and lead me out side.

The fresh air hit around my face hard and it helped clear all the horrible things Camille had said. I breathed out hard and noticed the group of football players huddled around each other. They all laughed loudly and split apart, most of them going to cars. When more than half the group disappeared I was left staring at four guys. I frowned looking to Mandy who was also frowning. "Took you long enough!" James was running towards us and it made Mandy squeal. She let me go and rushed to him jumping in his arms. He held her up high and started kissing her face and neck. "Sexy dress." I rolled my eyes walking past them and heard her moan quietly. So much for never leaving my side. I refrained from gagging and begrudgingly walked to the three other guys. Logan was smiling small at me. Carlos was standing outside his open SUV rap music blaring loudly. And then there was Kendall. He looked super relaxed and just like all day through gym, he was smiling at me. Big. He had his hands in his pockets and was leaning against Carlos SUV. "So!" I jumped slightly, turning away from Kendall and watched James walk towards us, Mandy over his shoulder, ass in the air. I gave him a dirty look, but he simply smirked setting her softly on the ground. "Were gonna all car pool with Carlos and then come back her to get cars. Everyone down with pizza?" I shrugged slightly and felt an arm around my waist walk me to Carlos's car. I tensed up thinking it was Logan but sighed out seeing James. "Jump in nerd girl." I elbowed his stomach hard making him grunt but climbed in Carlos's SUV. I went all the way to the third row seating and sighed out shoving my back pack in the trunk behind me. As I looked straight ahead, expecting to see Mandy, I blushed hard. Kendall was struggling to get his long legs to bend to climb in the back with me, but he managed. When he sat down next to me he breathed out hard and set his bag on the floor by our feet. I was hit instantly with something that smelled delicious…his cologne. I looked over to the side of his face and before I could look away, he turned to me smirking. I smirked back but looked to the front watching everyone else get in.

"So tell me something." I felt him move around next to me, almost scooting closer and looked back to him. "You aren't interested in sports…yet you're in a car full of jocks."

"And one nerd girl apparently." I frowned and he laughed. He leaned back in his seat and swiftly raised his arm and put it behind my head on the head rest. I frowned crossing one leg over the other and pulled on my seat belt feeling the car move. "I had almost every class with Carlos. He was nice and introduced me to some of his friends. He then invited me to watch practice and then dinner with all of you. I'll suffer with the jocks if it means I can talk to you." I rolled my eyes at his line and desperately wanted to reach out in front of me and hit James in the back of the head. I knew this was his doing. "So tell me something." I looked over at him quick and watched him lean in to my ear, his hot breath making the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. "What is a girl like you doing in a car full of jocks? And the weird new guy?" I laughed quietly as he locked eyes with me. I blushed and glanced up to the front. Mandy was looking back at me as James, of course, was sucking on her neck. I looked back to Kendall who was staring intently at me.

"Well…James has been my best friend since diapers. Our parents our best friends. Mandy has been stuck to my hip since 5th grade and the two up front I've known since 7th." He nodded slowly and looked out the window as we sped down a dirt road.

"And you and Logan…" I tensed up looking up to the passenger seat where Logan was looking through his phone, changing the music every now and then. He was laughing at something Carlos was telling him, and looked happy. To me, that just dug the knife deeper in my back. "James told me Logan wasn't very nice to you. In fact what he told me…I can't believe you're in the same car as him." I tucked some hair behind my left ear and looked down at my lap. Flashes of me throwing Logan out on Friday night came flooding back to my brain but I pushed them out of my head hearing talking up front. I looked up and saw Mandy shoving James off her, as she situated herself around and leaned back to where Kendall and I were sitting.

"Were going to the lake after we grab dinner…I need help with my math homework." She pouted her long eyelashes at me an di smirked knowing she didn't need help with her homework. She needed to talk. That was always our safety word, that we needed girl time. I nodded slowly and watched her turn back to James who literally shoved his tongue in her mouth making her giggle and lay back on the seat. I sighed out glancing out my window and chewed on my bottom lip.

The car ride was loud. Rowdy teenagers and a nice stereo system in Carlos's car…I'm surprised we didn't get pulled over. And it got worse when Carlos and Logan got out and grabbed two big pizza boxes from one of the few pizza places in town. As we drove again, I kept seeing Kendall looking over at me but stared straight ahead. When we finally made it to the lake everyone got out quick. I followed after Kendall who as soon as he jumped down, extended his hand to me. I grabbed a hold of it softly and felt him squeeze my fingers as I stepped out of the car. I smiled small up at him and opened my mouth to thank him. But I was grabbed by my other hand and dragged away. Mandy led me to a picnic table away from the boys and set her bag down. She took my bag from me and shoved her hand inside. When she pulled it out I frowned seeing the note Kendall slipped in it earlier. "I think you should go out with him." I laughed pulling myself up on the table and looked to the guys. I spotted Kendall a little away from the other three and felt a rush of…excitement run through me. He was smoking. And he was talking on his phone. "You are looking at him the same way you used to look at Logan." I turned to her slowly and shook my head. "Although I don't like the smoking…" She frowned and pulled herself up on the table next to me. "From what Carlos told James who then told me…you got the guy head over heels." I blushed and looked back over to him. He was standing right at the edge of the lake with a cigarette hanging from his mouth. He looked so sexy it hurt. But…

"I can't Mandy." We turned to each other and I smiled setting my head on her shoulder. "I just broke up with a guy I thought loved me. I'm still really hurt and it wouldn't be fair to Kendall to start something with him, knowing the only reason I am, is to get back at Logan." We linked arms together and she sighed out shaking my arm gently.

"Logan isn't the end all be all. I know it hurts baby girl but…" I raised my head and turned it to her. She smiled and wiped away a tear I hoped she wouldn't see. "You love him don't you?" I nodded and put my head back on her shoulder closing my eyes letting tears come out. It had been a rough day and since Friday night, breaking up with the love of my life hadn't hit me until now. Especially knowing he was spreading rumors about me. It hurt me bad. "You just give me the word and I'll filet his cock in two." I laughed wiping my face hearing someone walking over to us on the sand. "Go away. She doesn't want to talk to you." I turned my body quick hearing Logan sigh and then heard more footsteps. I locked eyes with Mandy who shook her head biting her lip. "Maybe if you just talk to him…once, he'll drop it and leave you alone." I frowned but nodded softly. She let me go and jumped off the table walking to James who was staring at me concerned. I shook my head and wiped my face turning to Logan. He was only in his white shirt and blue jeans. In his hand was his jersey. I frowned and wiped my face again.

"I'm sorry about today. I got cornered…I'm a douchebag. I understand you're pissed. And I'm going to give you space. But if you find it in your heart to give me a second chance…" He paused and looked down swallowing hard. I slipped off the table and walked to him. I gently tugged his jersey out of his hand and he looked up hopeful. To hopeful in my mind but it is what it is.

"You want me to wear this?" He only shrugged looking back down shoving his hands into his pants pockets. "Just a warning…Camille is going to try to pounce." He looked back up confused and tried to hide my smile. "She thinks she'd be better suited for you."

"Not my type." I laughed loudly hugging Logan's jersey into my chest and stomach. "You're my type." His hand went to my face and I tensed up but didn't move. This was dangerous ground. I could easily crumble under his touch, and I think he knew that. His other hand held the other side of my face and he lifted it. We locked eyes as he stepped closer. I braced myself as he got too close and quickly backed away. His hands left my face and he turned around facing the calm water.

"If you want…I'll wear this. You know I love this old thing…" He crossed his arms over his chest and I frowned feeling guilty. "You have to give me space Logan. And time."

"With Kendall?" I rolled my eyes shaking my head and gently threw his jersey to my bag. I started walking back over to the group who were sitting around a table the pizzas open. I stared at the back of Mandy's head, ready to pull her away so we could sit and talk but something…someone caught my eye. Kendall was sitting across from James with Ray Bans on and a weird look on his face. I frowned gently sitting on the edge next to Mandy who simply scooted over taking a bite of her cheese pizza. I looked at the greasy pie but didn't feel hungry. It got worse when Logan sat across from me and whispered something into Carlos's ear. Carlos turned to him quick before standing up grabbing a slice with him. They both walked towards the car and I chuckled out looking down at my hands in my lap.

"James?" I looked around Mandy and smiled at his face as he appeared. "I give you my blessing." He frowned and just as Logan and Carlos reappeared I sat up straight. "To beat the living shit out of Logan." The whole group went quiet and I smiled up at Logan. He laughed to himself pulling his shirt off and quickly threw it to the ground behind him.

"Watch out Mandy. She might take your thrown of queen bitch." I stood up fast but so did James and Kendall. Logan smirked at Kendall walking right by him. "I wouldn't try anything with her bro. Giant fucking cock tease. And a world class bitch at that." Mandy grabbed James quick and I felt tears threatening to spill out. But watching Kendall pull his sunglasses off and turn to face Logan made me suddenly very nervous. Kendall laughed setting his glasses on the table and turned to Logan who caught a football from Carlos.

"Damn dude…it must be hard to have such a tiny dick. Probably why you were trying to force yourself on her…wanted to feel like a big man." I swallowed hard watching James cautiously walk out, putting himself between Logan and Kendall. Logan however only laughed. Probably because he knew James and Carlos would never let anything happen. A tiny part of me wished it would. I kept trying to convince myself to love Logan but…

"Hey Kendall…what I do with my girlfriend is none of you God damn business." I pushed away from the table fast and walked to Logan. I felt someone grab my arm but I focused on Logan. He only looked at me shrugging holding the football tight. "You took my jersey. That tells me you still want me. I'll just wait until you actually say it." I yanked out of whoever was holding me and shoved Logan hard. He almost fell back but caught himself. He threw the ball down and frowned reaching for me. I shoved him again.

"I'm not your girlfriend!" I shoved him once more before I started hitting him. With all my strength. I could tell it wasn't even hurting him. That pissed me off more so I hit more. Until I was grabbed around the waist and picked up and turned. I struggled in the strong arms, I knew were James's until he set me down next to Carlos's car. I wiped my face and breathed out hard turning to James. He was staring at me with wide eyes and an open mouth. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked down kicking at the sand. "Seriously…Beat his ass." I heard nothing so continued looking down. "How could he be so mean? I just…" I sobbed out quietly covering my face squeezing my eyes shut hard. "I just want to be loved." I was pulled softly into James who wrapped a hand into my hair and rested the other on my back. I opened my eyes wrapping around James and looked at the grey shirt on his chest. He made me feel safe and I found that reassuring. But he wasn't Logan. No one would be able to come close to Logan. And whether I wanted to admit it or not, I didn't want to be without him. It's just my pride is too strong. On the same hand…"I just want to be loved."


	3. Chapter 3

_World war two started because some German douche didn't get accepted into art school…_

I frowned looking at the very small document James sent me last night to read over and check for him. One line. One line with nothing do to with WW2. I sat back in my computer chair and pushed my glasses up on my nose. He wasn't serious about his history paper. Which meant I had to be, just so he could keep his grades up. I wasn't going to write it for him. At least not physically. I might make him sit in front of me after the game tonight and tell him what to write, but he was going to type it up. I felt confident in my plan, but I know James. He was going to get invited to a party and forget about all his homework. And after the first week I had, I would probably want to go with him.

"Are you decent?!" James big loud voice drifted into my room and I sat up quick looking to my closed bedroom door. I quickly looked down at the diamond watch on my wrist and smirked. 7am. On a Saturday. Gotta love football season.

"Come on in…" My voice trailed off as he pushed open the door, all smiles. I smiled back and could only think of one thing. Mandy was a lucky girl. James was tall. He was ripped. Like…shredded. He had soft brown hair that was always in its perfect spot. He had pretty hazel eyes, he got from his mom. And right now, he looked down right sexy. Not that I would ever admit it to him. We were like brother and sister. But I could still recognize a good looking guy. He was wearing his away jersey tucked into a pair of black skinny jeans and a pair of old worn out converse. And as he walked past me to my bed, I got a scent of his cologne. Heaven. But he's like a brother to me.

"So how'd you like the paper?" I heard sarcasm in his voice and it made me turn to him quick. He laughed raising his hands and looked over at my open laptop. "I need help with it."

"Really? I like the German douche part a lot." I smiled down at him as I sat back down at my desk. "You have to write this paper James. It's due Monday."

"And I will. I just need your brain for the beginning and middle…and end." I laughed nodding and raised my legs to my chest hugging around them. "So…have you talked to Mandy? Since last night?" I shook my head and slowly started to spin myself in my chair.

"Nope. She didn't talk to me at all last night. I think she was peeved I didn't want to go with you guys after practice." I spun slowly and watched James chuckle falling back on my bed sighing out hard. "Why?"

"I'm just surprised she hasn't text you…or called you telling you about our fight." I stopped spinning fast and looked at him. "We went to Logan's house last night. Me, Mandy, Carlos, Logan and Kendall. Kendall, Carlos and I went to the backyard and drank beer and played poker and it wasn't until I wanted to leave that I realized Mandy wasn't with me." I swallowed hard and watched him sit up, keeping his eyes down. "I walked back in his house and found them on the couch. They were close and she had her legs up. When I walked in, he had one of his hands on her legs." I felt my throat swell up and started to feel dizzy. "She jumped up and offered to drive me home and I let her. The whole ride home, we argued. I asked if anything happened between them and she called me a jealous dick. I called her a slut for what she was wearing and how close she was to him. She claimed she was just being there for a friend. I guess he's torn up about you two breaking up still." I snorted, a little too loud and he looked up, smiling back. "I told her I know Logan, and I know what was on his brain. She told me to deflate my huge head and called me a prick, and a jackass and a few other horrible names. I got home and haven't heard from her since." I breathed out hard and lowered my legs putting my hands on my knees. James smirked and looked to my corkboard covered in pictures of me and friends. A lot of Mandy.

"So…you know Logan better than me, I guess." He looked back to me and I stood up walking to my closet. "You think he would try anything with her?"

"To get you upset, yes." I rolled my eyes turning on my closet light and grabbed a pair of short denim shorts hanging up. Without even thinking about James in my room, I pulled off my tight black yoga pants and threw them to my hamper. I bent slightly and just as I put one leg through the hole I heard him clear his throat. I stood up quick, and blushed seeing him standing, with his back to me. "You could have warned me you were getting changed."

"You saw me walk over here." I heard him sigh and quickly pulled on my shorts. "Besides…we've been half naked around each other before…"

"Yeah well…you weren't…developed then." I blushed harder buttoning my shorts and felt awkward. "I hear every one else say it…your hot Emma."

"Shut up James." He snickered and I quickly pulled off my sleep shirt and pulled on a plain black bra and then a long-ish flowy, red shirt. It was cut low kind of in the front, and almost see through. "Okay…I'm clothed." He was hesitant to turn back around, but when he did he sighed out pulling his phone out of his jeans. I watched him read a text as I took my hair out of the bun on my head. He sat down hard and shook his head slowly. "What's wrong?" He raised his phone and started typing.

"She's getting a ride with Logan to the game today. She said if I made a big deal out of it, she would be upset. And that she loves me and just wants to be there for her friend, who quote un quote, got dumped." My mouth fell open and he looked up fast. "Since last Friday all you two have done is shit talk about Logan. Why is she now just being best friends with him?" I walked back into my closet and slipped on some Vans shaking my head.

"Cause Logan probably pulled some line and told her he loves me, and just wants me back. He probably wants her to get to me that I should be back with him."

"Or they're fucking." I turned quick pulling a sweater off a hanger glaring at him. He only shrugged looking back to the pictures on my corkboard.

"She would never do that to you." He only shrugged again and I quickly looked at my watch. "You have to be there at 11 right?" He nodded looking to me and I smiled. "Wanna grab Carlos and get some breakfast?"

"Sure…but your parents have something for you." I frowned and he stood up walking to my door. "Can she come down now?!" He stood in my doorway blocking me completely and we stood in silence.

"Yes! It's ready!" My dads too cheery voice worried me as I shoved past James who chuckled. I hurried down the stairs hearing someone laugh. It was a laugh I had heard in…4 years? At least not in person. My heart picked up speed and I tucked hair behind my ear. As I stepped off the last step a harsh breath left my mouth. Getting up off the couch was my brother Matt. Matt was in the Army and had been deployed for 4 years. Skype didn't do it justice, and because I've had a rough week seeing my brother in regular jeans and a plain white shirt made me emotional. I started to cry. And he laughed quietly, but not in a mean way. He simply put his coffee cup down on the coffee table and walked to me. I squeezed my eyes shut hard and covered my mouth so a sob wouldn't rip through the house. I felt his arms wrap around me and quickly shoved my face in his chest. He kissed the top of my head and I cried out quietly.

"Why are you crying like this? I thought you'd be happy to see me?" I looked up quick and nodded but continued to cry putting my hands on his arms.

"She's had a rough week." I felt and heard my mom right next to me and tensed down looking at his huge strong muscular chest.

"First week of school rough? I thought you lived for school?" I gave him a dirty look and opened my mouth to explain but James beat me to it.

"Logan tried to get in her pants and was a dick about it. She broke up with him." I snapped my head to James who was sitting next to my dad, both not looking happy about what he just said. I gave him a dirty look and turned back to my brother, who was stone faced. I squeezed his arms, well tried and got on tippy toes looking in his eyes.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about it." He looked over my head at my mom, I assumed and smiled small.

"You guys going to the game today?" I wiped my face leaning back into my brother and heard my dad sigh.

"As much as we would love to see James plow over guys, we need to do a Costco run. We're having a dinner party tomorrow night. But I know you…and I know what you're thinking. You want to go beat the shit out of Logan?" I groaned quietly shoving into my brother who only held around me.

"We'll we were just going to go get Carlos…you want to come to breakfast with us?" I felt my brother nod and heard James get up. "Cool…let me go grab my stuff at my house. I'll be right back." I turned and watched him walk to the door. As soon as it shut behind him, I looked up at my brother shaking my head.

"Please don't say or do anything to Logan. It's over and done with, okay?"

"Not okay. He's still breathing so it's not over and done with." I groaned pulling away from my brother and turned to the stairs. "What if I do it after the game?" I ignored him completely as I climbed the stairs. I rushed into my bathroom and pulled my glasses off my face and set them on the counter. I quickly put in my contacts, and then did a little bit of makeup on my face. Eyeliner, mascara and a little bit of blush and eye shadow. While I dolled my face up I heard James come back in, along with his parents, who were over the moon seeing Matt home. I felt giddy knowing my brother was home but hated knowing he knew about Logan. I hated James for that.

After grabbing my purse, and shoving a book in it, I walked back down stairs putting sunglasses on my face. I said hi to James parents quietly and got right next to him. He was texting but as soon as I got beside him he slipped his phone in his pocket. "So Carlos isn't alone." I pushed my sunglasses up on my head and frowned at him. "Kendall and him hung out all night. I guess there becoming close. So he's going to be coming with us this morning. Your brother can meet him."

"Oh yay for me." He laughed and took my car keys out of my hand throwing them to the coffee table. "Why can't I drive?"

"My truck is bigger." I crossed my arms over my chest and watched my brother and dad walk out of the kitchen. Matt was putting his wallet back in his jeans and grinned big at me. "You get to meet the guy your sister has head over heels." Matt gagged as he walked to my mom, kissing her cheek softly. While we all said our goodbyes and everyone wished James luck my phone buzzed from my purse. I pulled it out quickly and immediately threw it back in my bag. It was a message from Mandy and she was asking em if I had talked to James. I seriously didn't want to even deal with her right now.

By the time we got in James, big black four door truck I felt weird. I sat in the back while James drove away from our houses, Matt next to him telling him about something I wasn't paying attention to. But I needed to talk to Matt. I needed to tell him how hurt I was from Logan. But I also needed to tell him to not hurt Logan, physically. "Matt?" he turned back to me quick and I smiled small shaking my head. "Logan really hurt me." I looked down at the center console and I swallowed hard. "But I don't want you to do anything to him. I don't care…what you say I guess. I can't stop your mouth, but if you do anything to him…" He put up a hand and looked to James who was looking out his window.

"Who is this Kendall kid?" I reached out fast and slapped the back of James head. Matt gently put my hand back beside me and smirked. "Do you like him?"

"I don't know him that well. He's cute…but I don't know much about him. No matter what James tells you, I'm not interested." James laughed and Matt did too. I sat back crossing my arms over my chest and watched James pull up right to Carlos's house. We got here awfully quick. I cringed seeing Kendall and Carlos walk out of Carlos's house. Kendall was wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt and black skinny jeans. The tattoo's on his arms were showing proudly and I knew that would be a strike with my brother. Not that I cared. I didn't know a lot about Kendall. I just knew he wore those skinny jeans well. And because of my relationship with Logan…maybe all I needed to know was how well Kendall looked in his jeans. Maybe that's all that mattered.


	4. Chapter 4

"He keeps looking over here. Like he knows I'm seconds away from breaking his fucking neck." I continued to look down in my book resting on my lap and ignored my brother sitting next to me. His right leg was bouncing, knocking into mine every now and then but I wasn't worried. He's calmed down immensely since breakfast. Mostly because both Carlos and James told Matt Logan is sort of becoming an outcast. That was news to me, but my brother liked hearing it. And as they all shit talked Logan, Kendall and I remained pretty quiet eating our breakfast. He would occasionally join in on the conversation and laugh at stupid guy stuff but he remained…almost invisible. And he wasn't looking at me. He didn't look once. That probably sounds bad, like I know he should be staring at me, but when it happens all week, you kind of expect it. And driving to the school for the very first football game of the season was no different. Carlos sat between Kendall and I and we again remained quiet. And my brother…well he hasn't stopped looking at Logan in the number 14 jersey, saying something here and there about him. I was grateful he wasn't running onto the field wielding a weapon. "I will say…I'm proud of you." I looked up fast to Matt who was still looking out at the field. "You pushed him off. Stood your ground. That takes a lot."

"I really wish I had socked him in the mouth but…" He smirked looking at me, but quickly looked over my head at Kendall, who just like me, was reading.

"So you two nerds gonna read all game?" I rolled my eyes looking back down into my newest murder mystery book. "Cool…well I'm gonna go grab a drink. Want anything?"

"Coke." I kept my head down hearing my brother start to climb down the bleachers.

"Kendall?" I looked up fast to Kendall who was standing pulling out his wallet. He pulled out a 10 dollar bill and extended it to my brother who only laughed. "What will you have Kendall?" Kendall sighed and put his money back.

"Coke. Thanks." Matt only nodded and skillfully jumped off the last bleacher. I turned my attention to Kendall who was sitting back down, sighing out. "Your brother's nice. Big guy too." I laughed and nodded closing my book. Kendall turned to me and frowned before looking out at the field. "I think I need to apologize." I swallowed hard and also looked out to the field. "I've probably come on way too strong. I know…your dealing with Logan and everything that happened so I know the last thing on your mind is a guy trying to ask you out but…you're very beautiful and I don't usually have a filter." I smirked looking over at him, seeing him blushing. Or maybe he was getting sunburned. We'd been sitting here for a good 45 minutes. So it was possible.

"I appreciate the apology. And the compliment." He turned to me and we locked eyes. "Logan and I dated for three years. We've told each other everything. I became comfortable with him. I started…to love him." I said it quietly looking away and hated how quick my eyes found Logan's jersey. "I'm sorry I've come off cold…or bitchy. It's my MO, just ask Logan." Kendall laughed loudly and I laughed with him.

"If it makes you feel any better…I'm a virgin too." I smiled small at him as he swallowed hard putting his book in the space between us on the metal bleachers. "I had a girlfriend in L.A. But when my dad called…asking if my sister and I wanted to come out here and live with him, she said yes. And I didn't want her going out here by herself so I went with her. I left my girlfriend there. I actually broke up with her the night before I left. And on that night she was coming over to give me one good reason why I should stay. She got nude and I went numb." I laughed seeing him smirk at the memory but he shook it off. "But I broke up with her. Nothing could make me separate from my baby sister. Not even her hot body." I chuckled and looked out to the field putting my feet up on the bleacher in front of me. "I know how it feels…to be pressured. To feel weird for not doing what everyone else is doing. But your brother is right. It takes a lot to stand your ground. Especially in high school." I felt my face flush and played it cool. We both went quiet and I suddenly felt something hit me. Kendall seemed…nice. Genuinely nice. He obviously cared for his sister. His parents were divorced. He was probably just as lonely as me. Maybe I should get to know him.

"Hey Em's." I looked up fast and smiled seeing Mandy walking up the bleachers in her teeny tiny red and white cheerleader uniform. Her blonde hair was up in a high pony tail with a red ribbon tied around it. When she sat down next to me I caught a strange smell. It was a cologne. A cologne I knew very well. Logan's. "Hey Kendall." I only saw Kendall smile nicely at her. She looked to me but looked away quick. "So you came with James?"

"And you came with Logan?" We locked eyes and I swear I saw something flash in her pretty blue eyes. Guilt.

"SO James told you about our fight?" I nodded slowly and locked my fingers together, putting them between my knees. "Are you mad at me?" I shook my head fast and looked out onto the field. "I know James probably told you I was flirting with Logan and acting like a slut but, I was just talking to him. We are friends. And he really needs one right now. Everyone including James is shutting him out because their taking your side, and trust me, I am too but…the way they're treating him isn't fair."

"And what he did to me…is that fair?" We locked eyes again and I felt Kendall shift next to me. He also set a hand on my back. I tensed up but did nothing. "Look…my brothers in town for a while and he knows what Logan did. I can't stop him if he says anything so don't be shocked if Matt freaks out." I turned away from her fast and felt like throwing up. "And by the way…" I turned slowly back towards her and she looked angry. "Logan is smooth. He's going to try to tell you every line in the book because as hard as it is to hear, he isn't talking to you because you're his friend. He's talking to you, to get to me." She laughed and stood up fast, already walking down the steps. I watched her sway away and rolled my eyes as she gave a big hug to Matt who had three Cokes, and three bags of chips. When she walked away, she turned back to me and frowned. I just stared back at her.

We won the game, no shock to anyone. Throughout it, instead of watching it to make sure Logan didn't get hurt, which is what I usually did, I talked. With both Matt and Kendall. Matt and Kendall seemed to really get along. Both had tattoo's, both smoked, both listened to the same music and both hated Logan. I hadn't noticed it before but Kendall was not a huge fan of Logan. If anything were to happen between Kendall and I (I hated the thought in my head because I knew it was James who put it in my head), it was reassuring to know, Kendall wouldn't be friends with my ex. They talked a lot about Matt being overseas, and Kendall saying his dad fought in Korea. It was nice to hear them talk. And the more I heard about Kendall…the more I liked.

We walked out into the parking lot waiting for James and Carlos, since James was our ride, and before they came out, Logan did. Mandy right beside him. And to my horror, she had her arm linked with his. And they were both smiling. Big. But when they spotted us, Logan's smile fell and so did his posture. I saw Mandy ge ton tip toes and whisper in his ear. He shook his head fast and pulled away from her, walking towards us. I saw Matt tense up and quickly got next to him, setting a hand on his shoulder. "Please don't hit him." He simply shrugged my hand off just as Logan got right in front of us.

"Hey Matt. Good to see you." Logan extended his hand but Matt simply stepped forward, grabbed Logan by his shoulder and shoved him off to the side. Logan's bag dropped to the ground and walked quickly in front of Matt. I sighed out and crossed my arms over my chest and leaned next to Kendall who was pulling a pack of smokes out from his pocket. I was painfully aware Mandy was staring at me, but I ignored her.

"How's your sister liking her school?" Kendall smiled down at me while he tried to light the dangling cigarette in his mouth. When it lit he inhaled, but quickly breathed out lowering the cancer stick.

"She's made friends easily so pretty good." I nodded and watched his eyes dart over Mandy's head. I turned quick, hoping Mandy and I didn't argue but frowned. Mandy wasn't there anymore. She was off talking to some other cheerleaders. But James and Carlos were walking towards us and that made me happy. We could leave. "Nice game guys. I don't know a lot about football but you guys won so…great job!" Carlos chuckled throwing his bag in the bed of James's truck. James quickly did too and got right next to me, leaning against the truck.

"I'm glad we haven't missed the fight." I gave James a dirty look but turned quick to Logan and Matt. Matt was leaning down in Logan's face and Logan was just taking it. Smart guy. "Mandy say anything to you?" I sighed out shaking my head and glance dup at his face. He looked sad looking over in the direction of his girlfriend, who I noticed wasn't running up to him like she usually did. "What the fuck did I do to get the cold shoulder?"

"Well she gave me the same speech she gave you. Logan's hurting and you guys are treating him like shit."

"He is shit." I slapped James stomach and he only shrugged. I sighed out frustrated hating how long Matt was taking. "So Carlos said his parents are at his grandparents' house this weekend. Party at his house tonight. I'm sure Matt will come." I quickly looked over to Kendall who was yet again, looking at me. I smiled and kind of turned to him trying to look flirty.

"You gonna come too?" He laughed inhaling quick, before throwing the almost gone cigarette on the ground, stepping on it quick.

"Are you asking me to come with you?" I laughed and shrugged shoving my hands into the pockets of my shorts. "I'll be there. You need me to bring anything?" He looked over at Carlos who was grinning big at me sitting up on the bed of James's truck. I raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed turning to Kendall shaking his head.

"Any kind of booze will help."

"What we taking about kids?" I turned to my brother quick who gave James the usual bro hug thing quietly telling him good game.

"Party at my place. Your sister is coming with Kendall." I rushed to Carlos quick and shoved at his chest making him fall back into James truck. There was laughter behind me but I ignored it feeling my brother turn me. He pulled me into him and sighed pointing at Kendall.

"She's not going with you. She's riding with me, and probably James. K?" I blushed seeing Kendall look down at the ground. I shoved my brother away just to get smashed into, by Carlos. He threw me over his shoulder fast and tickled my sides. I laughed out loudly and slapped his back but it was no use. He continued to tickle me until I pinched under his shirt on his rib cage. He set me down quick and I went to slap his chest but my brother intervened. I frowned at him, brushing hair out of my face and walked to the open door to the truck. "You think mom and dad will let you go to a house party at Carlos's, of all places." I rolled my eyes sitting in the middle and watched as Kendall climbed in beside me.

"Yes because I have already. And if you rat me out, I'll tell them about the time you and Ashley White made out in dad Camaro your senior year and how that white stain ended up on his seat." There was a chorus of ewe's from the guys around me and I beamed up at my brother. He simply chuckled taking a sip from a water bottle in James truck.

"Man…" He set the bottle back down and looked over at James who was slowly trying to pull out of the parking lot. "Logan really fucked her up."

"Yeah no shit…"


	5. Chapter 5

I felt giddy. I felt…sexy. I guess this is what sexy feels like. I've never thought I would be a sexy girl, but this dress I was wearing, and these heels strapped to my feet made me feel incredibly sexy. Confident and sexy. I know the two people in the car with me, hated that I was dressed like this, but I had no cares in the world. After hearing what Logan said about me to my brother, I finally felt closure. I was done with him and he was apparently done with me. So with that knowledge I was able to go shopping with my mom and dad and my brother, and got clothes, shoes and got new stuff for Matt and had a nice dinner out. And there wasn't a lot of arm twisting I had to do to let my parents go to this party. Mostly because Matt said he wanted to go, he had some friends he wanted to see and he would make sure I got home safety. And as we stopped in front Carlos's huge house covered in kids and cars my giddiness was over flowing. I pulled my seatbelt off and pushed open the passenger door of my car. Before I stepped out my arm was grabbed softly and I turned to see my brother slipping my car keys in his pocket. "Logan tries something again…even if Kendall does…" I smirked nodding and slowly got out of the car, already smelling weed and booze. There was loud music coming from inside and lots of talking and laughing. I kept my phone tight in my hand and walked up the walkway with James and Matt on either side of me. As we got in the house I heard an offensive rap song about bitches and money, that would usually irritate me, but this time, it didn't. I just pushed through bodies feeling James not far behind me. And I knew it was James because Matt said something about using the bathroom. I walked us into the kitchen where I of course saw Carlos who was pouring a colorful drink for a girl on the cheerleading squad, Amanda. She was cute and nice to me so I had no problems. I walked to him fast and grabbed his huge bicep leaning into his ear.

"Kendall here?" When I pulled away he smirked but nodded over my head to the backyard. "Thanks." He only smiled quickly handing James a drink from around me. I squeezed out between the kitchen counter and Carlos and again shoved through bodies to the backyard. As soon as I stepped out, I smelt cigarettes, and smiled big. I scanned the brightly lit yard before I spotted his blonde hair. I walked over to him and before he noticed me, one of the guys he was talking too, a football player, smiled big at me and nudged Kendall. Kendall turned and I was pretty sure I melted. I at least stopped walking. Maybe even breathing.

His hair was gelled up like it always is, but it looked really good right now. He had a cigarette to his lips and every time he inhaled it…I wanted to kiss him. Not a big fan of smoking but Kendall did it so well. He was wearing a red and black plaid button up shit, the top three buttons unbuttoned. The sleeves were rolled up on his arms, showing off his beautiful, colored tattoo's. And he was wearing, tight, I mean…tight black skinny jeans and black and white high top Converse. If I could move my legs, I would jump on him, tear his clothes off and just let him do whatever to me. Logan who?

"Hey beautiful." I felt a hand on my waist and looked up to see Kendall right in front of me. He leaned down quick and I smelt his cologne and the cigarette no longer on him. "You look unbelievable." I blushed looking down between the small space of our bodies and swallowed hard. I mentioned his jeans were tight, right? Yeah…my imagination didn't have to work to figure out how much Kendall was…carrying around. "You want a drink?" I could only nod and let him turn me. He kept his hand around me digging his fingertips into my hip. I stepped back into the house and spotted Carlos and James talking, drinking from two beer bottles. I tucked my straight brown hair behind my right ear and could tell my cheeks were burning. As we stopped next to my two friends, Carlos first noticed Kendall's arm around me. And when James did he looked between the two of us a couple times before stopping on Kendall. Kendall simply reached out to the cooler on the counter behind Carlos and grabbed a beer. "What will you have?" I turned up to Kendall and smiled before looking to Carlos who laughed and downed the rest of his beer turning to the counter.

"Carlos makes this really good fruity drink that I love." I saw Kendall nod as I sort of leaned back into him. "So is Logan here?" I saw James nod as he sipped his drink and shoved his free hand in his jeans. "Mandy with him?" He again nodded and swallowed hard looking in the brown bottle shaking his head.

"I think they're fucking around behind my back. Well…our back." He pointed to me, holding his beer and frowned. "If I see what I saw last night…I'm gonna break his neck." I shrugged feeling Kendall sort of pull me in closer. With him being so…close I wanted nothing more than to dance with him. And as soon as Carlos handed me my orange and pink drink I took it and turned in Kendall's arms.

"Dance with me?" He raised an eyebrow, downed at least half his beer and grabbed my hand. I sipped at my drink as he pushed me out into the living room where bodies were grinding onto each other, and walked us out into the middle. I set my drink on an end table on my way to the floor and when we got in front of each other I put my hands on his shoulders. He set his hands on my hips and pulled me into him. My chest, although it was barely a c cup, hit onto his body and I swallowed hard looking down. He started to sway us to the beat and my hands, working without my brains permission, moved up to his neck. A few fingers on each hand ran up through his hair on the back of his neck and his fingers locked around the small of my back. He leaned down slowly and put his mouth by my ear breathing into it. I closed my eyes feeling him press himself harder into me.

"I'm gonna ask you something, but I'm trying to read you." I smiled opening my eyes and pulled my head back. He was blushing. It was adorable. "I know you're still not over him." I could only let my body dance against his and he moved back into my ear. "But I feel like you're giving me a signal right now." I giggled making him look up and over my head, still blushing, smiling small. I got up on tippy toes and put my mouth right in front of his. Our lips were inches apart. All I could wonder was, who the hell was this girl, and how do I make her stay?

"I have a feeling, you could make me get over him." I pulled back as he started to lean in and very quickly, I turned my body, keeping his hands on me. I set my hands on his and very slowly I rubbed my backside up against his front. His hands went to my hips and he groaned out into my ear. I smirked seeing people looking at me, and I almost turned back to him, feeling exposed, but I kept going. I kept rubbing my ass against his crotch, feeling how very good that was for him. I raised one hand and ran it up through his hair letting his hands run up and down my sides and a little over my stomach. I wanted this to last forever. I wanted to feel him rub me, and hear him groan in my ear while we swayed to some top forty song. I wanted to kiss him actually, but my position was perfect right now. Nothing could pull us apart. Well…something could I guess.

I didn't know anything was happening until I felt someone bump into me. I quickly grabbed Kendall's arms on my body and held onto dear life as someone's back crashed into me. Kendall was quick though he switched us so he was in front standing in front of me. I however looked around his tall body and groaned out seeing James in the middle of a crowd, Logan right in front of him. It didn't hit me, that Logan was shirtless, until Mandy came running into the middle with them…wearing his shirt. I pushed past Kendall who kept a hand on me and walked with me to the crowd. The music got cut and everyone had eyes on the three in the center.

"Calm down James! Please!" Mandy sounded upset. But James looked destroyed. And as I finally got in the middle of the crowd, the only person I could see was Logan. He looked drunk. Like shit faced drunk. And when he spotted me, he pointed an accusing finger at me smiling wildly.

"And there she is James! Look how fucking destroyed she looks." James stepped forward but Mandy got between them.

"She wasn't the one who made you fuck my girlfriend! Don't be a fucking asshole! You couldn't have sex with Emma so you figured you'd find the easiest girl here!" Before I could step forward, before anyone could, Logan swung hard and hit James in the face. I tried to go to James but Kendall pushed me back and jumped in. Out of nowhere Carlos came in and got in front Logan putting both hands on him. Kendall helped James stand who was bleeding form the nose. "Don't fucking come around me again you piece of shit."

"Why because you know I'll kick your ass?!" Kendall and Carlos did a good job of keeping them separated. Carlos even went as far as to pick up Logan and drag him out to the kitchen area. Everyone kind of shifted awkwardly and after a few seconds, the music came back blaring loud. I only had sights on one person. Mandy. She was crying looking at James who was holding his nose, shoving Kendall off him. Mandy went to reach out for him, but he shoved past her heading to the stairs. I wanted to follow him, and make sure he was okay, but Mandy ran out of the crowd towards a downstairs room. I followed out quick after her ignoring Kendall who tried to grab me. When she walked in a guest bedroom I hurried in after and slammed the door shut behind me. She jumped and turned to face me. She was crying. But I saw the hickey on her neck and I saw her clothes on the bedroom floor.

"How could you do that to James?" She sobbed out loudly and sat on the edge of the bed. As she did I heard glass bottle knock over and I looked down gasping quietly. There were two empty bottles of vodka. One for each of them, I had to guess. "How drunk are you right now?"

"Pretty messed up Emma. And I'd appreciate it, if you left me alone." I folded my arms over my stomach and watched her cry out wiping her face. "We didn't mean too…he was drunk. So I got drunk with him. He said how much he missed you and I acted stupid. I kissed him and he got my clothes off. When his shirt came off, James stormed in. We didn't have sex. We just made out and touched a little. I didn't cheat on James."

"Cheating doesn't mean sex Mandy." She looked up, a little calmed down and wiped her face. "You just lost James. You should be up with him making sure he is okay." She looked down shaking her head. "I can talk to him for you…but it's going to take a while for him to calm down." She only nodded and I turned quick. As I put my hand on the door knob, it pushed open. I stepped back but came face to face with Logan. He was breathless, and just like Mandy he had a hickey on his neck. I swallowed hard looking down and stepped out of his way.

"Emma…" I felt his hand on my arm but stepped around him walking out quick. With my head down I wasn't watching where I was going and ran into someone. It was Kendall. He put both hands on my arms and I breathed in hard. He opened his mouth and looked over my head, probably at Logan looking at me. And then I did the craziest thing in the world. I grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and pulled him into me. His hands went to my back and he looked down confused. I reached up with my lips fast and kissed him hard, closing my eyes. The entire world stopped spinning on its axis and all I could do was hold onto him. He was quick with his kiss and before I knew it, his tongue was inside my mouth and I felt like I was floating. He was a fantastic kisser and I was a damn fool for waiting as long as I have to kiss him. When he pulled away, both of us breathing out hard I turned quick. The door right behind me was closed and all I could think was good riddance.

Kendall mentioned something about checking in on James and I blindly followed. I gripped his hand hard as he led me upstairs, declining offers of booze, weed and condoms. He took me right up to a room I had been in several times and knocked a little loud. Before waiting for an answer he pushed the door open and moved out of my way letting me. I frowned seeing James lying flat on Carlos's bed Carlos leaning over him holding a wash cloth to his face. I heard Kendall close the door behind me, shutting out the noise and walked over to James. His eyes were closed and coming out the sides were tears. My heart snapped as I pulled myself up on the bed grabbing on of James's hands. He locked his fingers with mine squeezing roughly. "Is his nose broken?" My voice was quiet and it made Carlos look to me. He simply shook his head and looked back down at our friend. "I'm sorry James." I paused and felt a wave of guilt hit me. "Maybe if I had had sex with him, Mandy wouldn't have tried to." I heard Carlos and Kendall sighed but I ignored them. "She said, they were both drunk. You walked in just before any…sex happened. They made out and touched but nothing more. I know that doesn't make you feel better but…"

"I never want to see either of them again." I squeezed his huge hand and scooted closer to him setting my free hand on his chest. "I know she's your best friend and everything but…I can't be around her. Or Logan. In fact I really want to run him over with my truck."

"That sounds fun." I snapped my head back to Kendall who was leaning against Carlos's desk arms crossed over his chest. He shrugged looking around Carlos's room and I turned back to Carlos.

"Maybe you should get Logan and Mandy home. They can't drive." He simply nodded and raised James's other hand putting it to the towel on his face.

"I gave him some Advil PM. Figured it will help with the pain and just knock him out. Hopefully by the time I get back, he'll be out and I can kick everyone else out." I only nodded and followed him with my eyes as he walked out. The music from down stairs came in for a brief period of time but it was gone just as fast. I looked back down at James who was pushing himself up still holding the towel on his face.

"My whole life…ever since I met her all I've wanted was to be with her. How, when she's drunk could she just up and forget about me?" I leaned into him resting my head on his shoulder still holding his hand. "If you have any intention of dating her, you better make sure you don't hurt her like he did. Cause that mother fucker is lucky he's still alive. You won't be so blessed." I closed my eyes hearing Kendall move around. "I'm gonna go wash my face. Don't leave alright?" I nodded letting his hand go, and watched him walk into Carlos's bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. I jumped off the bed quick and rushed into Kendall. He was now sitting on Carlos's desk and was at my height. I grabbed his shirt again and leaned in, kissing him softer this time. He was equally soft with his kisses, holding my back again. I moved my hands up to his neck, and held gently. In the background, I heard water running, and I knew I needed to be there for James but Kendall's lips kept calling my name and all I wanted was to make out with him all night. And I very well just might do that.


	6. Chapter 6

I was aware I was on a very soft big bed. And hearing the soft music floating into my ear, made me realize where I actually was. I was in Carlos's huge king sized bed, under his comforter and sheet, lying on my stomach. As my brain started to wake up some more, I opened my eyes but regretted it, immediately. The sun was blaring right into my eyes and I groaned very quietly. I raised my head slowly and turned it to face away from the opening window. I sighed out snuggling into the bed and hoped I could catch a few more minutes of needed sleep. But I felt the bed dip next to me and heard a soft grunt. I opened my eyes fast and smiled. I was face to face with James. But seeing his bruised eyes and swollen, bandaged up nose made my smile fall just as quickly as it appeared. "How do you feel?" He smirked pulling the blanket up under his chin sighing out. I laughed turning on my side to face him and also pulled the blanket up under my chin. "That good huh?" He laughed closing his eyes, yawning out. "Do you have the time? I can't imagine my parents are pleased I'm not home." He raised his left hand quick and looked at his gold watch.

"It's a little past nine and your parents aren't mad. Matt had taken Mandy home last night and went to your house to explain everything. They know you're with me and Los." I nodded slowly seeing how painful it was for him to hear Mandy's name, especially from his own mouth.

"Have you talked to her yet?" He shook his head fast slowly rolling onto his back. I pushed myself up in the bed and looked down at my body. I still had my black dress on from last night, but I was wearing one more piece of clothing; Kendall's plaid button up shirt. I smiled as I wrapped it around my body closing my eyes, inhaling the cologne still on the garment. Memories of last night…into this morning flooded into my head. Kendall and I made out almost the whole time. A couple of times we were moved from one place to the next, like Carlos's desk, where we started, and eventually got put downstairs on his couch. He was a great kisser. And very generous with his hands. And I loved his shirt on my body.

"I hope he's good to you." I opened my eyes and felt a new kind of pain run through my body. James was looking up at me, smiling. It was a tiny smile but it was there. "I mean…he's a good guy. But that's what we thought about Logan." I swallowed hard as I watched him sit up and rub his eyes groaning quietly. I set a hand on his shoulder and squeezed around it as best as I could.

"I promise if Kendall messes up, you can hit him." James only laughed nodding and I looked to the big open bedroom door hearing music, and talking. "I fought it for a while. Because I thought Logan and I would have a chance. But everything that happened last night…I don't know." He turned to me and we locked eyes. "I want to feel safe again. And Kendall makes me feel safe. And my brother seems to like him…so do you and Carlos." He kicked off the blankets and nodded standing up slowly.

"Now we just have to make him meet your dad." I rolled my eyes climbing off the bed and walked out of the room after him buttoning the shirt on my body. As we got down the stairs I could hear laughter and smelt coffee and bacon. My stomach growled but when we got downstairs, I felt my stomach twist into something other than hunger. Fear.

Sitting in the living room, playing a video game was Carlos and Logan. They were talking quietly and had no idea of the very angry guy behind them on the stairs. I moved quick and got in front of James. I guess they heard the stair creak because they both turned around and Logan quickly stood up. "James…" Logan looked between the two of us, and I hoped he wouldn't say or do anything stupid. "Dude…I'm so sorry about…" He pointed up to his face and I swallowed hard crossing my arms over my chest. "I was so drunk last night and…"

"Let's talk somewhere else." James walked past me and headed to the front door. It swung open and as he stepped out Logan followed fast. He didn't even look at me. That stung quite a bit, only because I was expecting him to grovel at my feet. Instead he walked out and shut the door quietly behind him. I turned to Carlos who was no surprise, back to playing the video game. I rolled my eyes and walked out to him, sitting on the couch right next to him, pulling my legs up to my chest lying my head on Carlos's shoulder yawning.

"There's coffee in the kitchen. And I made breakfast. Even for you." I smiled and quickly stood up walking in front of him. "Game Emma!" I smirked seeing his player get shot in the head and rushed into the kitchen to not get tickled, which was Carlos and mines relationship. I irritated him, and he tickled me as punishment. He was one of my best friends.

I walked around Carlos's kitchen as if it was my own, grabbing a mug, and the milk from the fridge. As I poured myself a cup of coffee and looked at the stove covered in a pan of eggs, a pan of bacon and sausage and a plate of French toast, I picked up a piece of French toast and turned holding my coffee mug. I stopped mid chew of my first bite and looked out at the backyard. Sitting in the sun only in a white shirt, and his jeans from last night was a guy I could see myself falling for. And as I walked to the screen door setting my toast and coffee on the counter I watched him take a long drag of his cigarette. I couldn't understand it…but seeing him smoke turned me on bad.

I quietly walked out behind him and stopped behind his chair hating I didn't have shoes on. It was one of the last few days of summer and the ground was hot. Before I could reach out and touch his shoulder, he leaned forward in his chair and set his elbows on his knees looking down at the ground. I bit my bottom lip seeing a colorful piece sign tattoo on the middle of his back through his shirt and sighed out. "How come you started smoking?" He stood up quick and turned facing me. I smirked seeing him breath out shaking his head. "You didn't hear me?" He laughed flicking his cigarette to the ground turning back to sit on his chair. I frowned but he reached back fast. He pulled me forward and I caught on to what he wanted. I sat on his lap wrapping both arms around his neck leaning into him.

"I started smoking about two years ago. I got my driver's license and felt like an adult. Some of my friends had some smokes, so I tried 'em. Two years later I have a horrible addiction to them." I smiled small and pulled my legs up to my chest letting him put one hand on them. "Is Logan still here?"

"Yeah him and James are talking." He nodded and just as I went to lean in to kiss him I heard a laugh.

"Hey…getting pretty sick of seeing you two attached at the mouth." I looked over Kendall's head and watched Carlos walk out holding a coffee cup. Before I could look back to Kendall his lips attached to my neck. I closed my eyes and put some fingers through his hair sighing out quietly. "They haven't killed each other yet, so that's good." I opened my eyes and gently pushed away from Kendall hearing an irritated sigh from him. I looked at Carlos as he sat down in the chair adjacent to Kendall's. "Logan is pretty messed up right now. He doesn't want to lose James as a friend."

"He shouldn't have tried to screw his girlfriend." I looked over at Kendall who shrugged putting his head back closing his eyes. "He also shouldn't have hit him last night. Not very friendly." I laid my head down on Kendall's chest and yawned, again.

"Do you think him and Mandy are broken up?" I laughed loudly but when I quieted down I raised my head and saw both of them staring at me, confused. I chuckled again sitting up on Kendall's lap.

"Los…she got naked with one of his best friends. She made out with another dude. He's not going to take her back." Carlos opened his mouth to talk, but the door opening behind us made us all look. I tensed up seeing Logan walking out in front of James. Neither of them looked angry. James didn't look happy, but at least they weren't bleeding. I noticed Logan look between Kendall and I but said nothing. James quickly took a seat next to Kendall and I, and Logan kind of stood awkwardly. I tried to look away from him but he looked upset. Near tears actually. I frowned and started to push off Kendall. He grabbed my arm but I shook it off me and walked around Kendall's chair. I nodded to the house to Logan who turned and followed after me. When we walked in, I shut the glass door, blocking out any chance of the other three listening in on us. I turned watching him lean against the sink and put his head down. I grabbed my coffee mug and walked to the counter by the stove and gracefully pulled myself up on it. I crossed my legs at the ankles and swung them gently hitting the wood cabinet behind them. I looked down at my coffee mug and smiled. "So…when you and I first started dating, James and I had an interesting conversation." He raised his head, and looked out the huge window in front of him, but didn't turn to me. "He said, if there was ever a day, that I wasn't with you, and he wasn't with Mandy he wanted us to just get together. The funny thing about that was he only said it, because he knew all of us would never break up." Logan's back tensed up and I frowned shaking my head. "I'm sorry I wasn't the girl you wanted. I'm sorry I wasn't ready to move forward when you were. And I'm sorry people have been assholes to you. But I'm not sorry for breaking up with you. It's obvious you and I aren't on the same page and it's not fair to either one of us." I saw him wipe his cheek on his shoulder and set my mug on the counter. "Are you and James still friends?" He laughed and pushed off the counter turning to me. He was crying. I bit my bottom lip and he looked down putting his hand sin his front pockets.

"He asked me if Mandy and I had sex. I told him no. He asked me if I fingered her, ate her out, or got a blow job." I rolled my eyes looking to the stove putting my hand sin my lap. "I told him no. I told him the only thing we did was kiss. And I groped her tits a couple times." I hated hearing Logan talk like this especially about my best friend but let it pass. "He asked me if I had feelings for her, and I told him I only wanted one girl. I wanted one girl who already moved on." I turned to him quick and saw him staring at me. He smiled small and shrugged. "I didn't do anything with Mandy to hurt him. I was drunk and upset. I guess he believed me, because he said as long as I never talked to Mandy again, or went around her again, we'd be okay." I tensed up a little as he started to walk towards me, but remained sitting on the counter. When he got in front of me and put his hands on the outsides of my legs, we locked eyes. "He also told me…I have to stand back. And if I said or did anything to Kendall, he'd break my knee caps." He got just a bit closer and his flat hard stomach touched my knees. "He said if we wanted to remain friends, I would have to let you go and watch you be happy with another guy." I looked down. On the inside I loved James for thinking of me and Kendall. On the outside I wanted to reach out and hug him because a part of me felt bad. But I just stayed motionless. "I'm never going to stop loving you." I cautiously set a hand on one of his arms and looked up at his face. His hands slowly move to my hips and I tensed up. Quickly he wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me towards him. I hugged him hard and squeezed my eyes closing my mouth hard. We hugged for what seemed like an eternity. He only pulled away when we heard the front door open. I kept my hands on his shoulders and he chuckled looking down dropping his hands down to his sides. "I won't stop loving you but…" he pointed to my neck and I quickly covered it. "Those hickeys are like little reminders we're over." I blushed looking down and heard someone walk into the kitchen. "Hey Matt." I looked over at my brother who was looking at us, one eyebrow raised. I smiled small and gently pushed Logan back, sliding off the counter.

"Hey Logan. I still can't believe James is the one who got his face fucked up and you still look the same." I gave Matt a dirty look walking past him to the backdoor. "Mom and dad want us to go to the store pick up some last minute things." I nodded opening the door and stepped out. "Were also taking James cause…" All three guys outside stood up and I smiled big at Kendall who smiled just as big. "Your dad wants to make sure your face is alright." James nodded putting his hands over his head stretching and yawning. "And you…" I froze in front of Kendall seeing Matt pointing at him. "My parents…mostly my mother, want you and your dad and sister to join us for dinner tonight. If I know my mom she probably already called your dad so we'll see you tonight." I felt panic race through me, and was expecting Kendall to also be panicked but he looked cool and calm. I frowned wrapping my arms around him and laid my head on his chest.

"I can't imagine you told mom and dad Kendall and I are…"

"Of course I did. And dad wants to meet him. Talk with him. Show off his gun collection." I rolled my eyes hearing Kendall chuckle and fought back another yawn. "And because mom is a god Christian women, she invited dumbass over here and his parents. I think the only thing that would make this dinner party great is if Mandy showed up." I turned fast and glared at my brother who was smiling big at Logan. When Matt turned to me his smile got bigger. "Oh wait…she will be there!"


	7. Chapter 7

"Well you know how easily that relationship happened anyway…" I glanced up slowly turning my head to the right to look in at my kitchen. My mom was standing with James's mom and they were both in front of the sink sipping from wine glasses. I tried to hear the rest of their conversation but the tapping of the keyboard next to me was too distracting. As promised I was helping James with his history paper. We've been at it for about two hours while everyone else, both of our families, got everything ready for tonight. If James was actually typing as fast as it sounded he was, he should almost be done.

"Done." I looked over at James who pulled one ear phone out of his ear sitting back. "I fear you made it sound too smart. Mr. Baker will never believe I wrote this."

"But you did." I smirked pulling his laptop over to me pushing my math book and notebook away. "I'll spell check and grammar check for you and then we'll send it to him." He only picked up his phone sitting back, letting me know, he was done with all his homework, so he didn't care what I did with his paper. I sneakily glanced up at our mothers now laughing quietly, leaning into each other. "What do you think their talking about?" I said it quietly as I started to read his paper about the second world war.

"Me and Mandy. My mom was livid about it all. I'm sure their plotting her death." I sighed out hard pulling my legs up to my chest and lazily scrolled down the word document. "I think my mom even convinced yours to not invite Mandy and her parents. Pretty harsh but I don't really give a shit." I nodded quickly typing in a few filler words to make it sound better and let the soft hum of my house pull me into the paper. I didn't realize how into his paper I had gotten until I felt a hand on my back. I turned quick and frowned up at my dad who was glaring down at James. I went back to his paper quickly finishing up the last of my corrections.

"I thought you were writing this paper James. You'll never learn this way." I waved back at my dad as I corrected one last thing and quickly saved the document.

"I did. She's being a grammar Nazi." I shook my head and quickly sent the paper to his history teacher. When I know it had sent I shut his laptop and looked across the dining room table at James's dad who was setting down his beer and looking down at both James and I. I blushed turning to James who was slowly standing, and yawning. I followed quick but felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to my dad who gently grabbed my upper arm and started to pull me to the backyard. As soon as we stepped outside I yanked out of his grasp and gave him a mean look. He laughed walking to the grill and looked in it, checking the coals.

"His dad is worried. About him, and about you. James told his dad, who told me, about Kendall." I groaned walking slowly towards the huge, long wooden table and took a seat at the head of it. I pulled my legs up to my chest and put my head back closing my eyes. "He said he smokes, has tattoo's and piercings and…"

"Treats me nice? Or did that not get said?" I turned my head to my dad who was walking towards the table, beer in hand. "You haven't even met him yet and you already know enough about him. I've only been with him for a day dad. But I like him." My dad sat down, groaning as he did and we locked eyes.

"You felt the same way about Logan." I looked at my knees covered in a dark blue denim jean and picked at the little bit of fringe showing my skin. "Matt said he's nice. He also said he seems really into you but I will not watch my little girl get hurt again. I will not come home to you crying your heart out. Because if I have to go through that again, I will go to prison for killing a 17 year old boy." I put my head back and squinted up at the bright sky. "I know his dad. He owns that car shop down Main…nice man, and good guy. And I will give Kendall the benefit of the doubt. But if he messes up once…just one time," My dad got cut off by Matt and James and now Carlos walking out tossing a football. Matt stopped by me putting a hand on my shoulder and smiled down at me.

"Dad said I get to have the first hit." I groaned stomping my feet on the ground and flipped off my friends as they walked out into the huge green backyard.

"I'm going to need your boys help here in a few minutes. Anne wants all the extra chairs out here, and I know they are buried somewhere in the garage." All three of them said okay, but went on with their stupid game of catch. As I stood up and walked out onto the grass putting up my hands to catch the ball it dawned on me. I had no other close girlfriends, beside Mandy. They were all dudes. And after last night, I might not be Mandy's friend for a while. Only because of how hurt James is.

I tossed the ball around with the three of them for a few minutes while Carlos's parents came out and said hello to me. I said hello back abut turned back to the other three. A few more minutes passed, and with every throw and catch I made, I was starting to get bored. When I heard a new set of laughter my stomach turned thinking, hoping it was Kendall and his sister and dad. However, Logan walked out and I heard a low groan behind me knowing James still wasn't okay with seeing him. Logan smirked walking towards us, but his smile fell seeing James or I assumed. I walked towards him and patted his chest as I walked by. "Take my place will ya?" I didn't wait for a response. I walked into my house saying hi to Logan's parents who barely looked at me. They've probably called me every name in the book for breaking up with their son. I ignored it walking through the loud house and up the stairs. As soon as I got to my room I shut the door and leaned against it. I just wanted the night to be over.

Honestly, as I looked through my closet looking for a different shirt, since the one I was wearing was an old sleep shirt, all I really wanted to do, was kiss Kendall again. I wanted to just stare in his eyes and lay on his chest, and listen to his heart beat. I know what love was. I felt it with Logan. And even though it was less than a day, I wanted to hear him say he loved me. Because yes…in my head I had already said it. I pulled down a soft white t-shirt from my closet and quickly pulled on the red and black plaid shirt Kendall never asked for back today. He would be lucky if he ever wore it again.

I wanted to stay in my room the rest of the night, but when I heard knocks form the front door, I jumped up quick pulling my hair out of the bun on top of my head. My hair fell down around my shoulders and face as I flew down the stairs. I stopped short at the third to last step as I watched my dad pull open the door and step out of the way quick. "Donald Knight! In the flesh!" I swallowed hard watching a man who was honestly, just a taller version of Kendall. He had a few wrinkles and had some facial hair. But he had the same bright green eyes, dirty blonde hair and a smile that could melt even my dad's heart. In his hand was a bottle of wine that he handed to my dad while looking around the house.

"Thanks for having us over Steve. I heard you are the grill master." I rolled my eyes stepping off the last step and crossed my arms over my chest. Just as I was about to walk around my dad to look at the still open door, a young, short girl come up behind her dad phone to her face. "This is my daughter Katie. Katie this is Mr. Matthews."

"Hey…" I smirked down at the girl who wasn't interested and that made me laugh.

"And this is my son Kendall." I perked up seeing Kendall walk in the house hands in his pockets looking at the back of his dads head. "Sorry about the attitude. He's the typical moody teenager." Both of our dads laugh and I frowned. I cleared my throat getting both their attentions and my dad moved forward putting a hand on my shoulder. He pulled me forward and I locked eyes with Kendall. He seemed to brighten up seeing me. He smiled down at me and I blushed. "This beautiful girl must be Emma. I've heard a lot about you." I blushed even harder and looked over to his dad who was smiling down at me. He extended his hand and I took it, shaking it softly. "Donald."

"Nice to meet you." Our hands released from each other and I looked back to Kendall, who was looking at me.

"Well come on in guys. There is beer and wine outside, and some soda and juice for the kids. I'm just about to start grilling the steak and chicken." I saw quickly, Katie raised her head and turned to her dad. "Is everything okay?" Katie looked back down and tucked hair behind her ear.

"Katie is a vegetarian." I chuckled looking up to my dad and he also laughed.

"Don't worry. So is Emma." Katie looked to me and I nodded smiling at her. "So let's go meet everyone else." My dad set a hand on Donald's shoulder and walked him towards the kitchen, Katie not far behind. When they disappeared, before I turned to him, Kendall's lips were on my lips. I turned in his arms and put my hand son his neck, kissing him back just as greedily. He tried to deepen the kiss but I heard laughter from behind me and pulled away quick, leaning back in his arms. His eyes were still closed and I let him set his forehead on mine.

"I've been waiting to do that all day." I smiled wiping at his bottom lip that had some of my lip gloss on it. "Also…that shirt looks so much better on you than me." I laughed leaning in again and kissed him softly. When I pulled back away I straightened up and put my hands on his shoulders.

"I was worried you would see it and want it back."

"Not anymore." We laughed to ourselves as he put his hand sunder my shirt, on my back. "I have to say…my dad is a grade A asshole so if he says or does anything embarrassing, I'm sorry." I frowned looking down at his chest where a necklace was hanging.

"You have an attitude tonight?" He laughed quickly kissing my head letting me go. I watched him as he led me through the house and squeezed his hand hard. He squeezed it back a couple times as we walked past a few adults, and went out onto the deck. I saw Logan and Carlos laughing drinking from soda cans and then saw James and Matt both helping my mom put plates out on the table. I sighed out hard. It would be a long night.

It was a long night, but pretty uneventful. Between sitting with Kendall and watching my family and friends, laugh and reminisce, it was actually a really nice night. The only highlight was texting with Mandy who was completely destroyed James wasn't talking to her and that she wasn't with us so it was a rough conversation. But that was about the only drama. My dad and brother behaved, and everyone got along nicely. When everyone started to leave, I grabbed Kendall and kissed him hard not caring about the people around us. And then I took a shower, finished up a little bit of math homework due Wednesday and went to bed.

My morning went by quick. I woke up too late and didn't bother with my contacts. I wore a stupid skirt because none of my school pants were washed and couldn't straighten my hair. I left in a huff taking a twenty dollar bill from my dad to get a school lunch and peeled out of my driveway. I pulled into the school parking lot that was already full. I was usually one of the first people here, so my day was definitely going to be crap. As I looked through my bag making sure I had everything, I needed, which I did I heard my name get called loudly. "Emma!" I spun fast and smiled as Kendall ran towards me looking just as good as ever. He was wearing a white button up shirt tucked into black slacks with a black studded belt. He had a backpack on his shoulders and a huge grin plastered to his face. "You look adorable today." I gave him an irritated look as I looked down at my bare legs thanking God I didn't forget to shave. "So…can I ask you a favor?" I shrugged letting him wrap one arm around my shoulders pulling em into him. I wrapped one around his waist and let him walk me towards the school. "You have 6th period free right?"

"Yupp. I usually sit in the library and study. Don't judge." He laughed and dropped his hand to my hip holding it gently.

"Well, how about instead of studying, you go somewhere with me." I cocked my head up and to the side and he laughed glancing over our parking lot, nodding his head to some kids walking by. "Just…trust me and I promise we'll have fun." I rolled my eyes putting my head on his chest.

"Okay…I'll ditch with you."

"How is it ditching if you don't have class?" I turned quick and got in front of him putting my hands on his hips. He grinned down at me and I pouted.

"Do you have class?" He laughed nodding and put a hand on my cheek leaning in. I let him kiss me, passionately but very shortly. I wasn't one for PDA. I pulled away holding his hand and started to turn. But as I did I caught eyes with Mandy who was walking towards us, slowly. She looked…so different. Her hair was in a messy bun on top of her head. No makeup on and she was wearing black pants and a shirt not tucked into her pants. I looked up to Kendall and softly kissed his cheek squeezing his hand. "I'll see you at lunch. I'm going to go talk to Mandy." He simply nodded and kissed my lips one last time before letting me go and walking away. I heard him shout at someone but didn't turn to see. I walked to Mandy and stopped in front of her. Her eyes were beat red and her lips were chapped. "How you feeling?" She laughed looking down and shrugged. "Anything I can do?"

"Unless you can force James to take me back…no." I gave a weak smile and she looked up shaking her head. "I don't expect you to hang out with me. I know James will want you to not hang around me. He already made Logan say he wouldn't." I reached out quick and pulled her into a hug. She gasped out and immediately started crying. I closed my eyes and let her sob openly on my chest not caring people were walking past us. "I don't want to lose him." I patted her back and opened my eyes looking at a few kids passing. "I can't be here. I have to go home." She pulled away fast and ran back out into the parking lot. I bit my bottom lip watching her run away and felt helpless. She was my only really close girlfriend. But James was my number one friend. Since day one, kind of guy.

"Emms…" I spun fast and swallowed hard facing James. "Where is she going?" I opened my mouth but he shook his head. "Never mind. I don't care. Look…if you're still her friend, awesome, but I won't be around you, so come to terms with that." He turned and walked off with Carlos who gave me a sad smile patting James back. "Oh and tell her next time you see her, I'm not buying her fake ass tears. And you shouldn't either, Emma. You're smarter than that."


	8. Chapter 8

I was probably way too nervous. I felt guilty, and I didn't need to. I wasn't doing anything wrong. Maybe it was because I knew he was doing something wrong. And the longer he took, the more anxious I became. I almost gave up on him. I almost went to the library and put in my headphones and worked on my newest English assignment. But just as I went to leave the gym, where I was almost hiding under the bleachers he came out of the boys locker room walking with Carlos who was telling him a very intense conversation. I only knew it was intense because the hand gesture Carlos was making were a little extreme. "I didn't know anyone could bend like that…seriously." I made a disgusted face up to Carlos who smiled big and gave us a small salute walking back towards the gym doors. "Have fun kiddos. Do something illegal for me." I rolled my eyes turning to Kendall who…I don't know how I didn't notice but, was still a little wet from a shower he just took. His hair was a little messed up and his neck was still a little wet. He wasn't wearing his school shirt, instead just a plain white undershirt and for the life of me I couldn't understand why that simple white shirt was so attractive.

"Ready to ditch for the very first time?" I swallowed hard but nodded letting him grab my hand and lead me out of the gym. I hurried behind/beside him as we walked out of the school building right into the parking lot. "Mind if we take my car?" I simply shrugged and nervously pulled my back pack up on my shoulder letting him led me to his car. He had a small older Jeep Cherokee deep green color. I had never been in it, but I could only imagined it looked a lot like Kendall acted. Carefree and a little messy. And as soon as he opened the passenger door for me quickly throwing his bag into the backseat without a care, I was caught with a familiar scent. His cologne. And of course cigarettes. I slid in, and let him shut the door hard. I quickly glanced around the car noticing a pack of smokes down by his shift stick and a box of matches. There was an empty bottle of Gatorade in one of the cup holders and down at my feet I noticed, as I set my bag on the floor, were a few pens, a book and I had to guess an empty pack of cigarettes. When he got in the driver's seat and put the key in the ignition, automatically a loud rock song poured out of the speakers, making him jump and turn his stereo off quickly. I smiled sitting back and watched him slip on his seatbelt while pulling a cigarette out of the pack by the shift stick. "Do you mind if I smoke?"

"I would prefer you quit. It's slowly killing you." He laughed pulling a lighter out of his pants and lit it like a pro. He rolled down his window as he pulled out of the parking lot onto the street and I put on my seatbelt. As he exhaled he put the hand holding the cancer stick on the steering wheel, while his other carefully reached out and set on my bare thigh. I tensed up and he noticed. I blushed and quickly grabbed his hand as he was pulling it back to his own body. I laced our fingers together and set our connected hands on my leg. I sat back a little and was finally able to breath normally as we left the school zone. "So…where are you taking me?"

"Up in the mountains to murder you." I snapped my head to him quick and he smiled small putting the lit cigarette back to his mouth. I sighed and gracefully crossed my legs over one another. I saw in the corner of my eye him look at my legs and I blushed feeling modest. "Now I know why the school girl uniform is so popular at Halloween." I chuckled looking out my window so he couldn't see my face. We went awkward. I watched the town pass us as he drove through it, smoking, slowly killing himself, and me.

After about a five minute awkward silence, hand holding car ride, I looked over at him and bit my cheek on the inside. "So…" He raised his eyebrows looking over at me flicking his cigarette out his window. I frowned at the action but ignored it. "Can I ask about you and your dad?" He snorted and I squeezed his hand. "It was pretty icy between the two of you last night."

"You caught on to that did you?" I laughed turning my body slowly so I could look right at him. To get him to talk to me, I let his hand go, and let it rest on my knee. I saw his Adam's apple bob up and down a couple times before he turned us down a dirt road. I wasn't paying attention, really. "My dad's a drunk, neglectful piece of shit who abandoned me and my mom and my baby sister. He's never done a damn thing for me in my life and now suddenly he's trying out for father of the year. He wants to me be this…person that I'm not and freaked out on me yesterday before we came over. He called me a no good excuse for a kid and I called him a jackass. And then we came over and that's it. Nothing too concerning." I laid my head back and watched him look over at me, quickly, before looking back at the road. I set my hand on top of his and softly traced little heart designs on his hand trying to find the right words to say. Nothing came to mind. "Okay…here we are." I looked over my shoulder out my window and felt my heart jump out of my chest.

"Kendall! This is private property!" I pushed his hand off me, just as I pushed open my door and stepped out. Private property or not, this place was beautiful. It was a huge piece of land with a barn, and farm on it. It was all Apple trees and long corn stocks with a huge open field. Behind the apple trees was a barn that had about five horses in it, the last time I drove by. I always wanted to go here. In fact Logan once tried to get us in, but my jeans ripped on the fence and I was sent to the ER.

"It can't be private property if my dad owns it." I turned around quick to come face to face with him. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared up at him. He smirked looking over my head and put his hands on my hips. "I want to show you the barn." His fingers dug into my sides, tickling me and I squeaked out. "Race you to the barn." He tickled me again and then took off. I bit my lip and slammed my door shut hard following after. He ran through the tall grass and bushes like a pro, while I struggled, just a little. When he got to the barn, he disappeared inside it quick. I frowned slowing down and couldn't help but laugh, hearing him cough.

"That's what you get for smoking." I struggled some more, pushing open the barn door and stepped in. I wanted to tackle him to the ground, but seeing him on a ladder up against the back of the barn trying to take down a cloth covering the wood made me slow down my walking. When the cloth came down I gasped out, walking no longer on my mind. Kendall jumped off the ladder and walked to my smiling big. "What is that?" He laughed turning and walked the rest of the way back to me looking at the wall, just as I was. "It's so beautiful Kendall." He stopped right by me and I grabbed his arm looking up at the beautiful picture before me.

Painted with what I guess were water color paints, was a huge bouquet of flowers. Roses, lilies, sunflowers…you name it, it was up on the wood. Perfectly. And colorfully. I let him go and walked towards it, taking it all in. I knew there were horses around me, but this painting was too much right now. "You did this?"

"Yeah…"I sighed out hard and stopped by the wood raising one hand. I traced over a rose petal and smiled up at the bright colors. "James told me you draw. I thought you might like this." I turned quick and nodded seeing him walk to one of the horses. He rubbed the nose, earning a soft neigh and chuckled. "He also said you like horses."

"Animals in general. But horses are one of my favorites." He turned to me and I saw his eyes shift over to the corner behind me. I smirked looking over there too but quickly tensed up. "A blanket huh?" I turned back to him and saw him blush looking back at the horse. "So what else did you want to do on my first ditch day." He again swallowed hard and I smirked. I turned and walked to the blanket laid out on a pile of hay. "Is your dad here?"

"He's at work." I nodded gently laying myself down on the blanket. For being on itchy, uncomfortable hay, it wasn't half bad. It helped that the blanket was super thick. "It's not what you think by the way…the blanket." I watched him walk to me, both hands in his pockets and sat myself up. I pulled off my black cardigan and balled it up, throwing it to the side. He stopped dead in his tracks and I smiled laying back down.

"So that must make it nap time then?" He laughed and stopped in front of me. "Ya know…I just dumped a guy for going too fast. Am I giving you a sign of something to make you lay this blanket out?"

"No. Of course not." I saw him start to get nervous. He kneeled down on the blanket next to me and moved around until he was sitting on his butt. I sat up and linked our arms together. "I'm a virgin. You know that. And I would never do anything, to make you feel pressured. But…you are a fantastic kisser. And I like you a lot. And…" I reached out to him quick and pulled his face into mine. He didn't do much at first until I started to lie back, pulling him with me. I knew very well in my head, that nothing more was going to happen than us making out a little. Maybe he could run his hands up and down my legs like he did Saturday night, but that was it. I think he knew it too because he let me do a lot more of the dominating. I touched his chest and rubbed his slightly defined arms. I kissed up and down his neck leaving little marks here and there. He kept one hand on my leg, while the other held the side of my face. He was laying over me a little and the one time I turned my head to catch my breath, his lips attached to my neck. I closed my eyes, groaning quietly feeling his hand dip down in between my legs. I opened my eyes swearing I heard a car but Kendall moved his mouth back to mine and we kissed hard and passionately again. I set both my hands on the side of his face and raised one leg up his rubbing it softly.

"Kendall Knight." Kendall jumped off me quick and I wasn't far behind. I wiped at my mouth and looked over his shoulder. His dad was staring at us, mouth open, looking a little pale. I blushed hard setting my forehead on his shoulder, closing my eyes. "I'm not even going to question what I just saw and yell at you later for ditching but she needs to hear something." I squeezed his arm hard and felt him tense up.

"She didn't do anything. I'll take her home and you can yell at me later."

"No Kendall…"

"Can't you wait tell were alone to yell at me?!" I jumped hearing Kendall yell and swallowed hard.

"It's not about you! It's about her parents!" I raised my head fast and looked around Kendall seeing his dad looking at me. He was completely ghost white now and looked close to crying. "I'm sorry Emma. I wish I wasn't the one to have to tell you this but no one could find you at school and when they told me Kendall ditched I just figured you were here…" His voice trailed off and I stepped around Kendall. "Your parents, and brother…they were in a car accident. A drunk driver hit them. Head on collision." I felt my stomach do a billion flips and felt my knees start to shake. "Your brother is in very stable condition but I'm afraid…your parents didn't make it. They were rushed to the hospital but…" I saw his mouth continue to move and faintly heard him, but I was falling. I started to faint and before I hit the floor I felt Kendall grab around me, and stop me from falling.

 **I'm really sorry about this guys. I knew when I started this story, where this was going. I knew it was going to be sad. And I just felt like right now was the right time to do it. Please don't hate me! I love you all!**


	9. Chapter 9

There were noises and sights and lights all around me, but I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't make out up from down, wrong from right and real from fake. I knew my brothers, broken and bruised body lying completely still in front of me…that was real. The machine breathing for him, the tube down his nose feeding him was also real. But the reason he was here…the reason I was here, that had to be fake. There was no possible reason I should be feeling the way I was. Not at 17. No one should ever have to feel this pain, I was feeling. No one should ever go through what I am. I shouldn't be going through what I'm going through.

I saw a white blur walk in front of me and vaguely heard the blur say good morning to me. The couldn't be right. When I got to the hospital it was 2 in the afternoon. It stead of trying to responding to eh blur I looked back down at my hand sin my lap and saw a few drops of water hit my closed fists. If he could respond, my brother would tell me to chin up and find the bright side of this situation. What could possibly be bright about this?

Days were starting to blend into weeks. Friends of my family, of me…dozens of people came in and checked on me and my brother. They gave us their best wishes but then went on to their happy lives with their entire family. I didn't care about anyone else, except seeing my brothers body slip into the coma. The doctors couldn't tell me when he would wake up. They didn't even know if he would. Between them not ever telling me any good news and the visitors, and even my parents lawyer, I was wishing I could blend into the wall and just go invisible for a while. And I almost did.

If my eyes were deceiving me, the calendar in my brothers room above his bed said it was October first. I did the math in my head as I walked from the bathroom back to my little made up bed on an old noisy cot. I had been in here…my brother had been lying in his bed for three weeks. Just as I sat down and grabbed the remote for the TV I heard an unusual noise. It was a soft groan. I thought nothing of it. I'm in a hospital. But when I started to flip through the channels I saw in the corner of my eye the body on the bed to my right move. I snapped my head to it and felt tears pour out of eyes. I sat up slowly as I watched my brother, try and fail to pull the tube out of his mouth. I quickly hit the nurse's button by his bed and sobbed out seeing his brown eyes flutter open and closed. It was like I was seeing him for the first time. And as I felt doctors and nurses push past me and I sobbed out, I hated how much my brother looked like my dad.

I was put out in the waiting room while they helped my brother out. They said to give them a few hours to get him checked out, and maybe wake him up. I sat out in the quiet bright waiting room and squeezed onto my phone. I had already called three people I desperately needed to see, but when none of them answered I tried a few more people, who still didn't answer. So I cried to myself a little and then sent out texts. When I still didn't get any response I decided to eat something. I went down to the cafeteria and grabbed a tray of food but when I realized I had no money I started to put it back. The women behind the counter smiled kindly and sent me on my way with my food. I cried as I ate my bowl of soup and grilled cheese, and was actually surprised at how much food I ate. When I finished I went back to the waiting room, ignoring the confused and pitiful faces of the people I walked by. When I made it back to the waiting room, just as I sat down I heard the elevators ding open and glanced to

Walking towards me in a huge group were my best friends. And my boyfriend. Kendall and James were leading the rest and when he got close enough I threw myself into Kendall. He wrapped around me and I cried quietly on his chest. I felt his hands on my head and another one set on my back. I felt Kendall kiss my head and couldn't help the sob that left my throat.

"What's going on?" I squeezed my eyes shut hard and shook my head tugging on the back of Kendall's shirt. "Emma…talk to me." I opened my eyes, lying my head on his shoulder and looked at the very concerned face of Mandy, with Carlos and Logan behind her.

"My brother…he's awake." I saw the three of them breath out and I managed another smile. "I'm okay…just overwhelming." Kendall gently started to rock me and I felt normal-ish. "Thanks for coming. All of you. I appreciate it."

"That's why we're here." I looked right at Mandy who gave me a nice smile. "Every time we've come, you have either been asleep or, in the shower…it's nice to see you up." I smirked nodding and turned my head to look up at Kendall. When we locked eyes he smiled, but it faded. I don't think I could ever thank him for all he's done for me. He's been here every day, sitting with me, bringing me coffee, letting me just, lay on him and read. He definitely came into my life at the right time.

"So…how come you're out here?" I turned and let go of Kendall taking a seat breathing out. Kendall took my right side while James, who was still looking at me to answer him, took my left.

"They have to run some tests. Do some things with him. They didn't want me in there while they did it. They said a nurse would come out and get me though." James nodded and I looked out to see Carlos and Logan sitting next to each other on Kendall's side, while Mandy sat behind James, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Because he's been in this coma, his body has been able to rest. He's been able to heal up. I think it will cut the amount of time he has to spend in here." James nodded slowly and I sat back into Kendall closing my eyes. "I don't even know if he knows there gone." The entire waiting room went icy. Kind of like how I felt. I felt like I needed to either barf or sob.

"One thing at a time beautiful girl." I opened my eyes feeling James set a hand on my shoulder, squeezing softly. "DO you need anything? Something to eat maybe?" I laughed pushing off Kendall and shook my head seeing him frowning at me. Usually he was smiling at me. I didn't like seeing him like this.

"I just had a soup and a sandwich. I'm okay." He only looked to the ground, keeping his arm around me. "So…" I sat back keeping in contact with Kendall and looked to my friends. "What's new? What have I missed?" All five of them looked anywhere but at me and I laughed sitting back, looking straight ahead of me at the ICU doors. "Come on guys…you can tell me. I need to hear outside stuff." I turned over to Mandy who was resting her chin on her hand, which was still on James's shoulder. He looked a little upset but not at her. And then I remembered. They couldn't even stand to be in the same room. "Are you guys back together?" Mandy laughed separating from James, sitting back crossing one leg over the other. "Are you?" I bunched my eyebrows at her and she blushed looking away.

"No were not." I turned to James fast and felt sad again. He glanced back at her and they locked eyes but he turned back to me quick. "Not yet anyway." I smirked looking back over to Kendall who had his head in his free hand eyes closed bouncing his leg softly. I reached out gently and touched his face making him turn his head away from me. That stung. "Let's go grab some coffee guys." I didn't watch my friends leave but heard them, and waited until the elevators dinged shut. I put my hand on Kendall's neck and he looked back at me, smiling small.

"I'm worried about you." I chuckled leaning into him and let his long warm arms wrap around me and rub my back and arm. "You've dropped a lot of weight. And I know you have a lot going on, but you're scaring me." I closed my eyes and inhaled his beautiful cologne.

"I know. I'm scaring me too." He rubbed my arm a little more and kissed the top of my head. "Once Matt gets out and we go home…I'll get better. I promise. I'll need help but I'll get better. I know Matt will hate seeing me like this."

"He's not the only one." I turned my head and gently kissed onto the skin on his neck. "Ems…" I looked up fast and watched him stand nodding to the ICU doors. I stood up fast and recognized one of the nurses walking towards us. She had a big smile on her face. That was heartwarming.

"Hey Emma…Kendall." He waved softly at her as I wrapped around him looking as interested as possible. "Matt's doing really well. Like…very well. I don't know how to describe it but…that coma really helped him. He's complaining about the tubes and IV's but he doesn't have a choice in that. The doctors are just finishing up some tests but I wanted to talk with you." The nurse, Ashley grabbed my arm gently and sat us both down, Kendall still right beside me. "Your brother went through a lot. He has several broken bones, and his left lung collapsed. And on top of the pain…he remembers a lot from the car wreck. He went into details about seeing your parents." She stopped and scooted closer squeezing my hand. "He is going to need you, not that you haven't been here, but from what he saw of you a little while ago…he's worried about you." I frowned glancing back to Kendall who looked to the ground. "He asked us if you were in the crash too, and when I asked him why he thought that, he said because you looked ill. You looked hurt. So he asked me a favor." I turned back to Ashley and tensed up seeing her pull out a piece of paper. "He wants you to talk with someone. I have a really good therapist who helps with loss." I took the paper form her and noticed it was a business card. I gently shook my head and looked back up at her.

"I just want to see my brother." She smiled small and nodded standing. She turned quick cheeks flushed red. Kendall held me back a little while she led down the hall. I looked up at him and he shook his head.

"She just wants to help." I nodded handing him the card and braced myself to see my brother as we walked in his room.

I couldn't believe it. The guy has 7 broken ribs, a collapsed lung and his entire left leg broken. Yet, he was sitting up in bed groaning quietly. I rushed to him, but before I put my hand son him, I stopped and looked at all the bruises and cuts on him still. I frowned when he looked up and smiled big. "Hey baby sis." I gently wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him into me being careful with his ribs. ""Good to see you too." I cried out trying my hardest not to scream at the top of my lungs. "Hey Kendall."

"How do you feel man?" I tried to lay my body on my brother but he was groaning again.

"Well considering my predicament, I feel okay. My breathing sucks and my entire body feels like it was set on fire." I pulled back fast running into I assumed, Kendall. He laughed lying back down and closed his eyes. He was crying. "I don't know…I hadn't realize how much you look like mom." I grabbed his hand and squeezed it, still crying. "I need a favor Kendall." I bit my bottom lip feeling Kendall right behind me, setting his hands on my hips. "Hey guys…" I turned fast and watched my friends walk in. James and Carlos went to the other side of Matt's bed while Logan and Mandy stayed at the foot of it. "Good timing. I'm going to need all your help with something." I scooted closer and he smiled up at me, very faintly. I wiped his face carefully and he seemed to lean into my hand. "I know she's going to fight this, but you can't listen to her." I stopped moving fast and stared down at my brother. "I need you to take her home. Get her well fed and somehow get her mind off all this. Just…take her home and take care of her. Even if you have to throw her over your shoulder James…or Kendall, just do it." I felt a hard breath leave me and felt the fingers on my hips tighten. I shoved them off quick and pushed Kendall back.

"Babe…" he reached out and I let him hold my face. "You need some rest."

"I have enough rest." I spit it out like poison and turned back to my brother. He was giving me the classic, I'm older, you have to listen to me, face. "I'm not going home Matt. Not without you. And don't try to make my friends and my boyfriend bully me into doing what you say."

"You look…"

"I don't care what I look like." I cut him off harshly and started to breath hard. "I can't go home. Knowing mom and dad…" I paused breathing in hard and wiped my face closing my eyes. "Knowing their gone…you are all I have left. I'm not going anywhere without you. So…so just get better and heal up so we can go home and we can try to forget about the pain. Okay?" I wiped my face again feeling my knees starting to buckle.

"Okay…okay Emma I'm sorry…come here." I was lifted gently on my brother's bed, and let him pull me into him, regardless of his pain. "I'm sorry. You don't have to leave. You just stay right here with me. I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you. You can just stay right here with me, forever, okay? I'm sorry…I'm so sorry Emma." I sobbed openly on his chest and felt my head get kissed by my brother. He was my very last family member. We had no Aunt's or Uncles. No cousins. No grandparents alive any more. He was my last line of blood and while he was the one in pain, and in the hospital bed, he was taking better care of me than I ever could to him.


	10. Chapter 10

"One more big deep breath Matt." I bit at my thumb on my right hand and watched my brother inhale deeply. He closed his eyes and exhaled softly. "Very good. The lung is sounding so much better. Nice job…" Matt smirked re-buttoning the black long sleeved collar shirt looking down. The doctor went to his mobile computer and typed up some things. "I say…I don't think we have anything else for you. I know the nurse went through the discharge papers with you. I have a long list on medications you're going to need to be taking, but were going to send you home with a four day supply. You have a doctor's appointment with me on 17th and if need to, we'll readjust your pills." I stifled a yawn and watched the nurse and the doctor help my brother off his bed. They quickly set him in a wheelchair and I stood up from my seat walking behind the chair. I grabbed the handles, not before I set my bag on Matt's lap. He held around it, with one hand, while the other reached back and laced our fingers together. "I know because of your health before entering the hospital, you're going to have an easy time recovering, if not…" I watched the nurse put at least ten bottles of pills in my brothers duffle bag I brought for him, and carefully set it on his lap, on top of mine. "Your pain killers are narcotics. So they'll kick your ass, but they'll help." Matt nodded again and I slowly pushed my brother out, after the nurse and doctor. "Mr. and Mrs. Diamond! Perfect timing!" I smiled big up at my best friends parents, who since Matts accident and my parents…dying, they have been there every day, for everything. They were like my aunt and uncle. I was so grateful for them, and even more so when James's dad who I always called Mr. Frank, came up beside me and wrapped his arms around me, kissing my head. I leaned back into him, still pushing my brothers wheelchair and watched James's mom, Alicia, set a hand on Matt's forehead. "Not that I don't think Miss Emma can handle her brother…he's a big guy and she is not." They all laughed around me, and I smiled too. But the only reason I was happy was we were finally going to be able to go home. Part of me didn't want it. But my bed was calling my name and the lawyer handling my parents will needed us to be at the house to sign over all their possessions to us. Yeah, that wasn't a heart breaking conversation. The lawyer came to my brother's room at the hospital and read our parents will. Their cars, the house, their possessions, and 200,000 dollars, to be split between us, went to us. And as soon as both of us signed our names, our parents' names were off everything they worked for, they built. There were 100% completely gone.

"Here sweetheart." I glanced up and was surprised to see I was in front of Mr. Frank's big truck. I pondered how I got here from the 7th floor in the hospital, but pushed past it seeing my brother giving me a weird look. I felt Mr. Frank push me towards the open passenger side door in the back and gratefully slid in as my Aunt wheeled my brother over to the other side. I watched as a nurse helped Mr. Frank lift my brother and slide him into the truck next to me. I took his hand as soon as the door shut on his side, and he squeezed it putting his head back. "Okay…were gonna drop you kids off and then were going to go pick up your prescriptions." I looked up to the front and watched Mr. Frank put the key in the ignition and drive away slowly. I sighed out, feeling, suddenly, very exhausted. I looked out my window and couldn't believe it was already fall and there were red and orange trees everywhere. Soon enough it would be Thanksgiving and it would be the first holiday without my parents. I wasn't looking forward to it.

I stayed quiet, still holding my brothers hand and listened to Mr. Frank talk with my brother about the new NFL season. If I wasn't tired before now I knew I was going to nap when I got home. But when we pulled down our street I remembered a conversation I had with Alicia. We had planned a surprise homecoming for my brother. Nothing too big. Just some of his old high school friends and a hand full of mine. And when I only saw Kendall's green Jeep I felt butterflies flutter up from my stomach to my heart. If I didn't know it before, I do now. I was in love with him. And I just wished when the time came and I told him that, he'd tell me it back. "Kendall is here?"

"Yeah he was helping James out with getting the house ready for you." Matt looked up at Frank who smirked but pulled his truck up right next to Kendall's jeep. "It is crutches proof. Minus the stairs, but we moved your room down to the spare room downstairs." Matt smiled big and squeezed my hand hard before letting it go. He pushed open his door and so did I. As I stepped out a gust of wind came through and whipped my hair in my face. I quickly pushed it away and looked behind me at Matt. He was on his crutches while Frank grabbed both our bags. I shut my door and very gratefully let Alicia take my hand. We followed slowly behind Frank and Matt. Matt wasn't groaning or moaning but he was a lot slower than he has been. Frank simply set his hand on his back and told him he was doing well. When we got up to the door, Frank stepped up first and glanced over Matt's head to me and his wife. He winked and cleared his throat. "Alright big guy…I'll go in first." Frank pushed open the door and stepped in. He flipped on the light by the door and as soon as Matt stepped in, a couple dozen people shouted welcome home making Matt pause. I went to his side fast and looked to his face. He was crying. I quickly hugged around him as best as I could and wiped at his face.

"Wow…" He looked down shaking his head and slowly walked in.

"Welcome home man." I watched James appear holding a bottle of beer and a water bottle. He raised the beer to Matt who took it and drank half of it. I gave James a mean stare but he brushed it away. "I got the grill going. How do you want your stake?"

"Bloody and still mooing." I shook my head at my brother who handed the beer back to James and glanced around. "Let me guess…you two?" He turned to Alicia and I and I laughed pulling off my sweater.

"Mostly her. I just gave her phone numbers." Matt laughed walking in slowly into the living room and said hello to a few of his buddies. I walked up to James and grabbed the bottle of water from him. He frowned but I ignored him drinking some. When I lowered it, I scanned the living room, not seeing the blonde hair guy I liked to call mine and looked to James. "Is Kendall out back?" He yanked the bottle from my hands and shook his head pointing behind me.

"You're room. He has a surprise for you." I blushed but nodded walking to my brother. I reached out to give him a kiss on the cheek but when a girl, who I probably knew better than my brother walked up to him I stopped short. Matt stood up a little taller and they both froze staring at each other. It was his ex. The one he left to join the Army. I turned, walking up the stairs not wanting to watch that yuck fest, and headed straight for my room.

I gently pushed open the half way closed door and stepped in smiling small. Lying on his stomach, arms tucked under the pillow was Kendall. He was shirtless and only in a pair of black sweats. I kicked my shoes off quietly, after I shut and locked my bedroom door and walked to the bed, carefully getting on. As soon as my weight went on the bed he raised his head, blinked a couple times and then shot up. I laughed and glanced around my room curiously looking for a gift. "So…you sound asleep in my bed. That's my surprise?" He laughed and I very willingly let him pull me into him. He kissed my neck before pushing back and lying down again, except this time he went to my nightstand. He grabbed a large drawing pad form the top and sat back. I quickly sat between his open legs, crossing my own. I put my hand sin my lap and watched him thumb through the pad.

"I drew something for you. From a picture I took." I frowned and watched him pull out his phone. When he found the page his was looking for, he folded the pad back and turned it to me. There was no explanation needed for the drawing. It was a beautiful drawn picture of my parents. My mom was being held by my dad who had one hand on her face, the other around her body. They were looking at each other, leaning into kiss. Even before he turned his phone to me, to show a picture of my family and friends, taken the Sunday before their accident, I knew that's what it was. I grabbed the pad and looked down, gently tracing over the pencil marks outlining my parents. "I don't know what it's like to lose a parent. But from what I saw of them…what I heard of them…I just figured this picture captured them perfectly. Happy and in love. And I hope it helps you remember them as that. I hope it helps you heal knowing they were happy and probably very proud of you." I quickly wiped my face so the tear wouldn't fall on the paper ruining it. I set the pad to the side and scooted closer to Kendall. His arms wrapped around my back and I set mine on his shoulders.

"Thank you." He smiled small looking down between our bodies. I did too, swallowing hard, seeing him shirtless for the very first time. He wasn't as big as James or Logan, but you could see muscle definition and the few tattoos' he had on his chest and upper arms. I looked back up and smirked leaning in. I kissed him softly, once, before pulling away from him completely and scooted up to the top of my bed. I set his notepad on the nightstand again and lay back sighing out. He raised his legs and bent them at the knees, wrapping around his knees looking down at me. "Lay down with me?" He didn't hesitate to move his body down next to mine and when he sat up on his side, resting on his elbow I turned to and rose on mine too. I leaned into him a little kissed him again. This time, one of his hands rested on the side of my face, pulling me closer to him. I set my hands on his chest as I laid back and he turned to hover over me. He was really sloppy with his kiss. He was kissing on my mouth, in it, and around it. I wasn't complaining because he laid on top of me, putting one leg between mine and when he did the weight of his leg pushed up into my center. I don't know how or why but the making out I was very willing to do, was becoming a little heated. I was okay with it.

I turned my head away from him and put both my hands on his head running my hands through his hair. His kisses moved down my neck and I closed my eyes remembering the very first time Logan and I got super physical. We were in his car and he got me on my back. He sucked on my neck and eventually got my top and bra off. He sucked on my nipples causing me to moan out loudly. And then he put his hand down my pants and a couple of his fingers rubbed over my clit and one pushed inside me. I loved it. I know now, I probably gave him all the signs in the world that I wanted to have sex with him. But I honestly didn't. I wasn't ready. I just liked being fingered I guess. And Kendall's hands were a little bigger than Logan's. I would say I could only imagine what they could do to me, how they could make me feel, but as I turned my head back to Kendall I saw him sitting up on his knees, pushing my shirt up on my body I realized I wasn't going to need to wonder. I sat up fast and tore the shirt off and laid back quick. He set his hands outside my body and looked me up and down. He shook his head before leaning back down into me, attaching our lips together. I put my hands on his sides and tensed ever so slightly feeling his hands move up to my breast. He palmed over my padded black bra both of us moaning in sync. I lowered my hands as Kendall's moved to my back. I sat up on my elbows, never moving my mouth from his. His hands sort of rubbed over my back and it felt good but when the movements became a little more erratic I frowned, pulling back. His face was red. He was breathing hard. I smirked at him as I laid back and he sighed out. "Were the hell is the clasp for your bra?" I laughed putting my hands on his face and pecked at his lips. I grabbed both his hands and moved them slowly to the front of my body where my breasts were. I looked down as his fingers finally touched a small little clasp. I let his hands go and put them back outside my body. I raised one leg and rested it against his body. When I felt my boobs get free from the prison holding them up and in, I looked down. Kendall's hands quickly went over each breast making me close my eyes. I set my hands on his and gently rubbed up from his hands to his biceps. There was a soft sweet kiss to my left breast and then his mouth was gone. I opened my eyes and watched him gently grab my hips, and resituate me so he could put both legs in between mine. When he was comfortable, one hand rubbed up from the top of my black jeans to my right breast. He rolled my nipple in between two fingers earning a moan from me and making me arch my back. I reached out and touched his face, pulling it as best I could towards me. He was a half an inch from my mouth when his other hand went to my jeans. I swallowed hard and watched him raise his other hand, releasing my boob and put it by my head. He kissed me, and I eagerly kissed back but he pulled away slightly. "Am I going too fast?" The button on my jeans came undone and I bit my bottom lip. I lowered one of my hands and set it on top of his on my zipper. He stopped moving completely but I smiled and helped him pull it don the rest of the way. I could tell he was hesitant. I didn't blame him. But I most definitely wanted this. I guided his hand into my jeans, and under my underwear. Before I had time to say anything his middle finger gently, so very gently brushed against my clit. I turned my head groaning and he moved in, kissing my neck softly. I continued to move his hand though, until he caught on to where I wanted it to go. Without a word spoken one finger traced down my opening before slipping inside me. I squeezed my eyes shut hard and moved both my hands to his neck, where I held him gently. There was a kiss to my temple and I opened my eyes, moaning as he pulled out his finger and pushed it in. Just as I felt his warm mouth around my left nipple there were sharp knocks to my door. Kendall pushed off me and I shot up putting my bra back on.

"Emma?" I groaned quietly hearing James and slid off my bed as Kendall handed me my shirt. "You and Kendall gonna stay in your locked room all night?" I blushed watching Kendall pull on a black shirt. I looked down his torso and bit my bottom lip again seeing the V-line leading into his sweat pants. I looked away just as he pulled his shirt on and turned to my door. "Dude…there's food ready. And your brother is about two second from climbing the stairs to murder Kendall." I laughed taking a few steps toward the door but stopped when Kendall got in front of me. I frowned and he quickly wiped at my neck and face. I probably had kisses all over me still. I laughed and got on tippy toes kissing him. When I went around him, one of his hands rested on my ass, and kept it there as I pulled my door open. James was leaning against the frame smiling big holding up a plate of dead animal meat. I gagged walking by but turned to see Kendall take it. His face was flushed. He looked out of breath. All because of me.

And all because of him, for a minute I forgot where I was, what had happened, and what sadness felt like. It wasn't until I got downstairs to see a bunch of people and my brother, all making small talk I remembered something. My life was in pieces. And no matter how perfect Kendall was, it didn't change the past or how I felt.


	11. Chapter 11

" _BH is perpendicular to AC. Find x the length of BC…"_ My pencil dropped from my hand and I slowly sat back in dining room chair I had been sitting in for the past two hours. I was completely alone in this big ass house and I felt it. I was too distracted with my calculus but wanted some attention. I would have text Kendall but he had to help his dad with the barn and I wasn't mad about that. I wanted him to try to make things right with his dad. Because he still had his dad, and he had no idea how lucky he was. I could have text James too but he had football practice, along with Carlos and I would have even text Logan, but again, practice. And again Mandy, my bestie, was busy with practice. They were my closest people, minus my brother and none of them were able to come near me and it sucked. All I had to do was wait for Matt to get back from his appointment…"Ems?" I snapped out of my thoughts and turned over to the front door to hear the door knob jiggle. I jumped up fast and ran to the front door. I yanked it open and moved out of the way to let Matt walk in. He crutched his way into the house all the way to our dads recliner. I grinned big at him as he set himself down. "Maddison is at her car. She took me grocery shopping. We were in need."

"I'll go help her. And then I want a play by play of your doctor's appointment." I walked out backwards and he gave me a thumbs up, with his eyes closed and his head back. I smiled small and turned fast walking quickly out into the rain. It wasn't raining too hard but enough to be annoying. I stopped by the back of Maddison's black SUV. I grinned at her pretty made up face and bumped hips with her. She smiled at me and handed me a case of beer making me frown. "Is he allowed to drink?"

"Well his doctor said in moderation. He's just worried about it mixing with his meds." I nodded letting her set a rather large pack of paper towels on the case of beer. "I offered to cook dinner for you guys tonight. I'm making some chicken enchiladas!" I laughed but nodded following her up to the house. When she walked in I peered around the paper and saw my brother reach out. As she walked past him he grazed his fingers over her leg. I smiled down at him as he looked onward smiling as well.

By the time I helped her get all the grocery's in the house and we put all of them away, I was sitting on the kitchen counter with my brother next to me, chopping an onion. I offered to help cook but Maddie insisted she could handle it. My brother being my brother jumped up anyway and took over chopping things. She had her back to us but I still saw some hickeys along her neck. And when she took off her hoodie, I saw a few on her chest. Apparently my brother and her were back together. Which was fine. She was a really nice girl and always had some kind of girl advice to give me when I was a kid. I really liked her, and so did our parents, which made her all the more better. "So…any plans tonight baby sis?" I rolled my eyes pulling one of my legs up to my chest. I laid my head on my knee and looked at my brother.

"Why? You need the house tonight? I saw the champagne…" Matt turned to me red from embarrassment, and glanced over his shoulder. I laughed and looked over at Maddie who looked away fast. "I know Mandy will want to do something. No worries…"

"When did you grow up and catch onto that kind of shit?" I laughed again and shrugged sliding off the counter. I walked to the fridge and pulled it open grabbing a can of Pepsi. "Not to late tonight…whatever you two do." I nodded walking to the dining room table and just as I sat down and opened my Pepsi, our front door opened and her voice echoed through our house.

"Hello my adorable favorite siblings!" I groaned loudly watching Mandy bounce into the room in what I had to assume be a Halloween costume. Except it looked like she should be going to a strip club. She was dressed as a cop but it was the smallest, shortest, tightest blue dress. She was wearing a hat, a badge and had a pair of handcuffs. She also had thigh high black boots on, which I don't recall any op ever wearing thigh high boots. "I'm here to put one of you two in custody. So we can go to the stupid school Halloween carnival." I shook my head roughly turning back to my homework and heard Maddison laugh from the kitchen. When I stopped shaking my head Mandy was sitting on the kitchen table, her back to me.

"Mandy are you allowed to wear that to a carnival for kids?" Maddison came out wiping her hands on a dish towel and looked closely at the badge on her chest.

"Probably not. But if they send me home, oh well." Maddie laughed and looked over at me smiling big.

"What's your costume?" I opened my mouth but Mandy turned to me quick eyes big.

"I have it for you! You're gonna be a nurse!"

"Like hell she is!" Mandy jumped off the table and ran to the front door, her heels smacking into the hardwood. My brother turned to me and shook his head just like I had done. "I forbid you to go out in anything she gives you. If I have to tie you to this table I will." I frowned and looked down at my homework.

"Oh come on…we used to love going to the carnival at school. They'll have fun!" I looked up to see Maddison lean into Matt and kiss his cheek. "Besides…" She leaned in and put her lips to his ear whispering something. Whatever she said, probably something along the lines of they wanted to bone, made him perk up and stand up straight up on his crutches. He blushed and looked over at me blinking slowly. "So…as long as you two are careful I think you'll have fun!" Maddison turned to me and Matt wrapped an arm around her pulling him back to her. Before I could ask Matt to make me not go to this stupid carnival Mandy came walking back in, holding a white dress and a pair of red pumps. She grabbed my arm and pulled me up and out. I gave Matt a pleading look but he was too busy kissing Maddison's neck.

We got up to my room and I sighed out walking to my bed. She threw the dress on it next to me and I slipped out of my slippers and warm fuzzy socks. "So…the longish white dress is a decoy. I know your brother would never let you out wearing the real costume." She unbuttoned the white dress and pushed it off the hanger. Underneath it was a short, tight looking white dress that zipped in the front. It had cute little sleeves and a red cross on the right side up on the chest. I frowned and took it from her as she opened her bag on my bed. "I'll do your makeup and hair! And I got you some fish net stockings. And those heels."

"I'm not wearing those heels." She frowned but ignored me shoving the short dress at me. I groaned, but slipped off the bed taking it from her. "So…how is it going with James?" She laughed and shrugged taking the dress form me as I undressed. "He's been talking about you."

"That's awesome. But he wants nothing to do with me. Every time, it seems, he comes near me I'm talking to a guy and he just gets pissed. He doesn't trust me, and I can't be in a relationship like that." I nodded along pulling off my shirt. I slipped out of my sweats and took the dress from her stepping into it. "Besides…you and Kendall have been doing enough touching for everyone at that school." My cheeks flushed as I struggled to pull the dress up and over my ass and then my boobs. I kicked myself seeing I could have just unzipped it but did nothing about it. "How are you guys doing?"

"Well…" I stopped and glanced at her as she handed me the fish net stockings. "The day Matt came home…we came up here and did some heavy touching in my bed." She raised her eyebrows but I blushed turning away. "I'm so worried I'm doing the same thing I did to Logan. I'm being a cock tease because I let him touch and kiss me, but nothing more. And he says he doesn't mind but I can feel his dick rub up against me." She snorted and I looked up after sitting on my bed. I quickly pulled on the stockings as she readjusted her boobs in her cop uniform.

"Then you should definitely invite him with us tonight. You guys could grind on each other and dance."

"Right…at a carnival for kids. Good idea Mandy." She looked at herself in my mirror and grinned big.

"I forgot to tell you the best part about tonight!" She turned to me fast sitting on my desk chair and rolled over to me. "The Carnival is a ploy. I again, knew your brother wouldn't let you go to a college party so I lied for you. You're welcome." I frowned as I stood and pulled up my stockings.

"A college party? Mandy…"

"Come on dude. Next year we'll be freshman at college. Let's go see what it's like! Please!" I groaned out sitting back down and let her pull my pony tail out of my hair. She didn't wait for my response. She knew I already would agree to it, because she just had that power over me.

When we got downstairs, me made up, tight short dress hidden by my decoy one, I walked to my brother. I hugged him softly, him sitting at the table. He kissed my cheek and told me to call him for anything. I nodded and said goodbye to Maddison from the kitchen and followed Mandy out of the house. We ran to her car and laughed the whole way, as she almost fell in the wet grass. The rain was coming down harder now and when we got to her car, we both checked our hair and makeup. She turned her car on and loud top 40 music blared at us, making both of us sing loudly with it. She peeled away from the curb and I unbuttoned my decoy dress. She whistled loudly as my skin came into view and I rolled my eyes throwing the dress in the back. It felt like it was going to be a good night.

The University was about 25 miles away from our town so it was a drive, but when we got there, the rain had stopped and the house she pulled up in front of was already packed and loud. People were dressed in everything from cavemen, to Donald Trumps. I got out after throwing my phone and wallet in Mandy's purse and followed after her to the front door. A few guys whistled at us, but I ignored them. I tried to copy Mandy's confidence but I looked ridiculous. I probably should have told Kendall we were coming here but knew nothing was going to happen. And if he didn't want me to come here I would have a problem with that. She walked us up to the front door, and pushed herself in making me follow quick. I swallowed hard seeing guys and girls grinding on each other, making out, drinking and passing around a joint. I reached out and held onto Mandy's belt as she walked us towards a huge kitchen. As she went towards the keg two guys stopped in front of her, one wearing a cape, he was a vampire, and the other dressed up in a suit. "You two defiantly don't go to this school!" The suit yelled over the music and I tensed up seeing them look us up and down.

"No. Were seniors."

"In high school?" We both nodded and the guys looked to each other smiling small. "Who let you in?" The vampire looked to us and I squeezed Mandy's arm. She shoved me off her and walked up to the suit guy.

"NO one did. We just wanted a couple drinks." She got right in front of him and I saw her hand move down in front of him towards his crotch. He swallowed hard looking down at her before looking up to her face. "Would you mind getting us a drink?" He shook his head fast and turned to the keg. His friends chuckled putting his hands in his pants pockets. I looked up at his face and had to guess he was 21 maybe 22. I was barely 17. But he was cute. He also wasn't Kendall so he could have been Channing Tatum and I wouldn't have cared. The suit turned back to us two red solo cups in hand. Mandy handed one to me and smiled big. "Thanks guys! We'll see you around." Mandy made a turn to me but the suit grabbed her arm and leaned into her ear.

"Come dance with me!" Mandy nodded fast and handed her up to the Vampire, who also took his friends. He sighed setting the cups down and watched the two walk away. I quickly wrapped my arms over my stomach and looked up at his face. He glanced down at me and I tensed up seeing him lean in.

"You wanna go somewhere quiet with me?" I looked away fast, trying to find Mandy but not being successful. "I have a girlfriend and I'm not going to try anything. You don't look comfortable so I was going to offer the patio. No one is out there." I looked back to him and shrugged slightly. He nodded and slipped off his cape and turned to the patio door. He motioned me to go to it, and I did, rubbing my arms up and down. "I'll be right back." I ignored him as I stepped out into the cold autumn air.

There was no one out here so I went to the cute little swinging seat and sat down shivering. I crossed my legs over each other and regretted deeply, not bringing Kendall with me. Just as I started to calm down and feel comfortable, the Vampire came out with a big blanket in hand and two open bottles of Coke. I frowned and watched him the whole way as he walked to me. He handed the blanket down to me and I gratefully took it. It smelt clean and when I set it on my body I welcomed the warmth with a deep sigh. He sat down in front of me, in a patio chair and set the drinks on the table next to him. "So nurse?" I smirked looking down at the deep blue blanket on my lap swinging myself slightly. "What made you come to a frat party? By yourself?"

"My idiot friend." He chuckled and looked up frowning. "She just got out of a relationship and is having a hard time with it. And I just…I just wanted to get my mind off things." He laughed again and looked up at the wood covering us from the rain starting back up. "What's so funny?"

"I just can't imagine what a 17 year old girl could have going on her life that's so bad." I smiled back and looked out into the fairly large backyard.

"We'll about a month ago my parents were killed in a car accident, by a drunk driver." I saw him snap his head to me fast and I blinked back some tears. "My brother came home from the Army two days before my parents were killed, and was in the car with them. He's alive but hurt pretty badly and were just trying to get our life back together." I looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. "Is that a good enough reason for you?" He looked down at his black jeans and picked at the frayed fabric on his knee.

"I'm sorry. I'm such a dickhead." He looked up and we locked eyes. "I had no idea…I'm sorry." I shrugged looking back out into the backyard and sighed out.

"Can I have my Coke?" I turned to him and he swallowed hard turning around. I heard one of the bottles fall over onto the table as he turned and smiled as he cursed under his breath and stood up. He grabbed the still full one and handed it down to me. I took it and drank almost half of it. When I lowered it I saw him sit back down and shake his head.

"I can't believe your brother let you leave the house looking like that." I laughed and picked at the label around the bottle shaking my head. "Or your boyfriend." I looked up fast and he smirked leaning in his chair.

"How do you know I have a boyfriend?" He laughed and pointed to my face.

"Big ass hickey on your neck." I covered it quick and blushed. "Trust me. You don't look like the type of girl to go without a guy. You probably have guys crawling after you." I chuckled, knowing that wasn't true, because off all the shit Logan said about me, and the fact that Kendall was protective. I loved him for it.

We sat and talked in the cold for about 45 mins, getting to know each other. I told him about Kendall and Logan and told me Logan was an idiot and Kendall better not go do the same route. He told me about his girlfriend who went to school in New York and was studying Medicine. He was going to school for criminal justice and was a senior. We had a lot in common with music and movie tastes. He made me laugh a lot and I felt comfortable with him. He eventually sat next to me and I let him share my blanket. Just as I started to talk to about my parents, because he asked, the door to the house opened and a very drunk guy stumbled out laughing loudly. "Dude…Alex totally is about to get it in!" I rolled my eyes turning to him but went stone face fast. He looked worried.

"Who was he with?"

"I don't know…some young looking thing. She was in a cop uniform. But he gave her those pills you two picked up today. She was totally out of it." I jumped up fast pushing the blanket off me and looked down at him.

"You're friend gave her pills?" He reached out for me but I shoved him back. "Did you give me any?" He shook his head fast standing up and I saw him look at the table behind me. I looked to the spilled Coke and it hit me. "But you were going to?" He reached for me again but I shoved him harder. "You're a pig! Where's my friend?!" He swallowed hard and walked to the house door. I followed fast wiping at the tears on my face. As he walked me through the house, my stomach turned hearing a lot of guys cheering. When he stopped I shoved past him and felt my knees start to go weak. Mandy was on her back, her uniform now open, exposing her half naked body. She wasn't wearing a bra and it made me sick. The guy, the suit had his jacket and shirt off, and was about to lean over Mandy on the couch. Her eyes were half open and she was smiling. I shoved past a few guys and rushed to Mandy. I shoved the suit away and covered Mandy back up with her costume.

"You can wait your turn bitch." My arm was grabbed and I was yanked back. I ran into a few guys who immediately started to put their hands on me. I tried to yell out but I was crying. It wasn't until the vampire I was with came up and shoved them away from me. I fell into him and pushed him towards Mandy.

"Stop Alex. Let her go home." I shoved at Alex again and grabbed Mandy, pulling her up as best as I could. I wrapped one of her arms around my neck and lifted her off the couch. I gave a disgusted look to Alex who blew me a kiss before flipping off his friend. As I tried to button up Mandy's costume a hand was set on my back. I looked back quick and tensed up seeing Will, the Vampire. "Let me help you to your car."

"Where's her purse?" He turned around and I heard him ask someone where her purse was. I finished buttoning Mandy's costume and turned to Will who had Mandy's black purse. I yanked it from his hand and tried to walk us. She was now fast asleep so a lot heavier to hold up. I groaned out seeing Will in front of me and swallowed hard. "Get her to the car and leave us the hell alone." He only nodded and I gently handed my best friend to him. I wiped at my face and shoved out of the house looking back to make sure he followed. When I stepped out into the cold air I sobbed out quietly and wiped at my face again before digging through her purse to find her keys. With my head down I didn't see James truck pull up behind Mandy's car. But I heard James's loud booming yell and it made my toes go numb.

"HEY!" I looked up fast and felt relieved seeing James running towards us pissed off. I quickly got in front of Will and Mandy and put up my hand. "What the fuck are you doing to her!?" I grabbed James's arms and pushed him back calmly.

"Just let him get her to her car."

"Why the fuck did she call me crying saying someone slipped her drugs? Was it you, you piece of shit?!" James shoved me away, rather roughly and yanked Mandy out of Will's arms. Will swallowed hard and turned to me.

"He wasn't the one to give her the pills. But he almost gave them to me." He looked around James fast but no one could stop him. Kendall came out from behind James and hit Will as hard as he could. Will fell to the ground yelling out and Kendall went back at him. He lifted him just a little, and hit him again in the face. It wasn't until Logan came up and shoved Kendall back into Carlos who grabbed him tight, I wiped at my face and looked at Kendall who looked rather calm for what he did. He was wearing a backwards baseball cap and a black hoodie and black jeans. He looked pissed but he also looked good. As I started to walk towards him I saw Logan lift Will up and hold him by the shirt collar.

"Where's the guy who gave her the pills?"

"Logan can we just go please?" My voice came out shaky and pathetic but it made Logan let Will go. Logan turned to me, and sighed out turning to James. James was still staring at Will. Logan shoved James gently towards Mandy's car and he walked to it. I followed fast feeling Kendall's eyes on me, but all I cared about was Mandy. James stopped by her car but breathed out hard.

"I'll take her in my car. You okay to drive Emma?" I looked down shaking my head seeing Mandy's purse get pulled form my hand.

"I'll drive with her." Kendall's voice was right by me and I closed my eyes covering my arms over my stomach. "Where we going?"

"Mandy's house. Her parents are out of town. I don't want her alone." I heard nothing but footsteps and tensed up feeling a hand on the small of my back. I heard a door open in front of me and felt my body get pushed to it. I opened my eyes in time to see I was by the door and stepped in grateful for the warmth. When the door closed I looked out it and saw Carlos, Logan and Kendall huddled together, talking quietly. When Logan nodded and backed away from the other two, Carlos quickly climbed in the back seat of the car, behind me and as soon as his door shut, one of his hands gripped my shoulder.

"You okay dude?" I shook my head looking out at Kendall who was staring at the house in front of him. His whole body was tense. He was radiating anger. "What happened?" I shook my head again and watched Kendall walk to the driver door. When he got in, slamming the door shut hard, making the entire car shake, I gasped out and covered my mouth and reached for him. I set a hand on his left hand that was bleeding. He yanked his hand away from me and turned to me, still very angry..

"What the hell were you two thinking? The only person you told was Carlos? You couldn't tell me you were going to a frat party?! Wearing that none the less!" He pointed over at me, disgusted and I turned away wiping my face.

"Calm down Kendall."

"No!" I turned back to Kendall who was still staring at me. "What did you think was going to happen tonight?! You'd play bingo with a bunch of honry frat guys? Did you do anything with that guy?"

"No Kendall. We just talked." I was crying still and I sounded scared. Because I was. I had never heard Kendall get like this before. "He offered me a coke but it spilled. He was going to give me the same pills Mandy got but he didn't."

"Oh well he must be a great fucking guy then!" I jumped when he slammed his closed fists onto the steering wheel. "You should have told me you were going! So I could have told you no!"

"I'm allowed to do whatever I want, with whoever I want!" He glanced out his window as he slipped the key into the ignition. "Mandy wanted to go out. I wanted to go out. I didn't know we were going here until right before we left. Don't you trust me?" He scoffed watching James's black truck drive by before he pulled out and stepped on the gas following after. "That guy didn't do anything to me. You didn't need to hit him."

"Yeah well you didn't need to wear that stupid costume but you did. And next time you go to a frat party take you're fucking phone, so I know you're alright." I sat back hard and crossed my arms over my chest. "Do you know how fucking scared I was? How James was or how worried your brother is?" I snapped to him quick but he was looking straight ahead. I glanced back to Carlos who was looking down at his phone texting.

"You told my brother?" Kendall laughed and I blushed realizing not only Kendall saw me in this stupid dress, but James, and Carlos and Logan.

"We were going to get you guys from the carnival." I turned back to Carlos who shrugged swallowing, putting his phone in his sweater pocket. "Mandy had told me you guys were going there before this party, to see if we wanted to come with you guys. But you weren't there. So James called Matt and he said you guys should be there. That was when Mandy called. She said this guy she was with gave a laced drink and was worried someone did the same to you. So we drove here. We didn't tell Matt that part, but I told him you went to a frat party." I sat back wiping my face, tears still coming out. I glanced over to Kendall who seemed to be calming down. His window was down and his hands were gripping the wheel so tight anymore. "James said Mandy's in and out of sleep. Logan wants to take her to his house so his mom can look at her. She's a doctor." I saw Kendall nod slowly and sit back a little, breathing easier. "We were just worried about you guys." I quickly looked out my window and wrapped my arms around myself and rubbed my arms. Kendall said nothing more to me and neither did Carlos. I was embarrassed but I was also a little upset at Kendall.

We all stayed quiet the whole ride to Logan's house. When we stopped in front of it I groaned quietly seeing my brother's car in the driveway. Kendall parked on the street as Logan helped James carry Mandy to the house. I wiped at my face, because I cried the whole drive and jumped hearing Carlos's door shut. I clicked my seatbelt off and went to my door handle. A soft hand grabbed mine and I turned to see Kendall looking at me. I swallowed hard and sat back in my seat his face now very close to mine. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry I got so upset." I closed my eyes and cried out throwing myself at him.

"I was so scared. Mandy…they had her on her back. She was topless and he was going to…"

"Shh…you're both okay. Shh." I clutched onto him and tried to pull myself up on his lap. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was scared too." I opened my eyes pulling away slowly and glanced up to his eyes. They were glistening. He was about to cry and my brain told me to not get angry with him. It was best to just take the yelling I was going to get from Matt, and probably James's parents. I was going to take it. Because iw as grateful I had people in my life who cared that much about me.


	12. Chapter 12

I was putting myself to sleep, brushing the hair out of her face with one hand while the other rubbed up and down her arm. The motion was relaxing, and I was really wishing someone was rubbing my arm to sleep, and brushing hair out of my face. But everyone in the room was quietly talking to each other, no one looking at me or my passed out best friend. All I wanted was to hear she was going to be okay, and that we could leave and I could go to bed. But the grown ups standing around me hadn't had the chance to yell at me like Kendall did, and I knew it was coming. Sooner or later. "Emma…would you like something drink?" I slowly raised my head, tearing my vision away from my sleeping best friend and smiled small. Logan's mom, the top doctor at the hospital in town, sat in front of me on her coffee table putting her clasped hands in between her knees. She gave a small smile and it warmed me up.

"Water?" She glanced over her shoulder at her husband, a professor at none other than the university we just left an hour ago. He gently patted Matt's shoulder as he walked past him and went into the kitchen.

"SO I know the boys behind me have already hounded you with questions but I just need to know a little bit more about what was given to Mandy." I nodded slowly and scooted myself up on the couch, holding Mandy's head still as to not wake her. "You said they kept saying pills…and one of the guys was going to give you a coke with the pills in it." I nodded and she furrowed her brows leaning forward. "Besides the normal carbonation from the soda…did you notice anything else about it, when it was spilled? Was there a lot of white residue? Or loud popping noises?" I frowned and looked back down at Mandy. I remember seeing the coke spill, but the party inside was too loud, so I couldn't hear anything, but I do remember seeing some white residue with the carbonation.

"Well…" I saw both James and Matt look at me very concerned and I swallowed hard turning to Logan's mom. "There was some powder on the table. When I got up and found out what was happening to Mandy I clicked two and two together and realized he almost drugged me. I looked at the Coke and saw some white powder on the table." I paused and she sat back looking at her hands sighing out. "What did he give her? What was he going to give me?" Logan's dad came walking out with a tall glass in hand, filled with ice and water. I took it gratefully, and downed half of it.

"Well there are a lot of street names for it but its technical term is Rohypnol. Dealers call it Mexican Valium or Trip-and-Fall. The biggest side effect of it, which is why it's used as a date rape drug is the loss of muscle control and difficulty with motor movements. That's why she couldn't move. Most of the time guys get away with using this drug because the person, who takes it, acts drunk. It makes your speech slurred and you're dizzy. You eventually black out and most times, don't remember what happened." I set my glass on the side table next to me and looked back down at my best friend. "I know its scary sweetheart and I know you don't think it now but you saved her life." I closed my eyes feeling my stomach turn and bit my bottom lip.

"How long will she be passed out?" I felt the couch move to my right and turned my head, opening my eyes. James was raising her legs, and was sitting down putting her legs softly on his lap.

"Well I don't know how much she was given. But her heart rate is normal and I checked her blood pressure. Everything seems normal. I'd say a couple more hours before she wakes and when she does there is a high chance she'll throw up." Logan's mom, Jo Ann stood up and looked directly at my brother who also stood up, leaning on his crutches. "It's very important she gets a lot of liquid in her. Keep her hydrated and the more she throws up, the more she'll get out of her system." Matt nodded and Jo Ann turned to Logan and Carlos who were sitting on the floor of the living room staring at me and Mandy. "I told your parents you were here. They're fine with you crashing here." Carlos nodded and looked over at Kendall who was in a chair by the fireplace. I had tried not to look at him all night because I knew he was still really mad at me. And he looked it. One leg was up on the other and his legs were bouncing. I wasn't the only one to notice his bloody knuckles and Jo Ann promised to clean and bandage him up before we left. "Let me go get some gauze and I'll clean you up. They don't look broken so no big problem." Kendall nodded and smiled nicely at her as she disappeared down a hall. As soon as she was gone he turned to me, smile also gone. I swallowed hard and looked to my brother.

"Her parents are out of town. She can't be by herself." Matt raised his hand and nodded.

"I know. I talked to her dad. He told his boss they had to leave and are catching a flight first thing in the morning. She's going to stay with us." I nodded slowly and watched Matt look over to James. "I know you live next door but your mom and dad are okay with you staying and watching over her, which I know you want to do." James nodded fast and I looked at him. He looked so scared…so upset as he held her hand and tried not to cry. "And I talked to your dad…God I'm old." I snapped my head to my brother who was looking down at Kendall. Jo Ann was back in the room and sitting in a chair in front of Kendall. She had a black bag on the floor at his feet, open and was pulling out a bottle of alcohol. "I told your dad what happened. I asked him if it was alright that I kept you with us. I'll be able to keep my cool a lot better if I have some buffers." I swallowed hard and looked back down at Mandy. Part of me wanted to switch positions with her so I wouldn't get the shit end of our dumbass mistakes. But another part of me was grateful I wasn't in her shoes. What if we both had been drugged? No one would have been able to stop them and I would have lost my virginity. Without my knowledge or okay. The thought made me close my eyes and push out some tears. My stomach turned but no one in this room cared how upset I was, because this was my entire fault.

I wasn't sure if I had fallen asleep or if I was just too cloudy from tears, but when I raised my head and opened my eyes Mandy was being put in James's arms with the help of Carlos and Logan. Jo Ann put a blanket over Mandy and kissed her head softly. She said goodnight to James and I watched James walk out of the house. I sighed out and slowly pushed myself up and off the couch. Matt walked out past me with Logan's dad following. I looked over to Kendall who had his right hand bandage with a thick wrap, and his left hand with a few band aids on some knuckles. He got out of his chair and without looking at me, walked out with the rest. I swallowed hard and moved around the coffee table rubbing my arms to warm myself. I kept my head down even as Jo Ann said goodbye and made my way to the door. Before I got to it, I was stopped. Logan got in front of me and with a soft smile put a sweater around my shoulders. I quickly slipped my arms in the hole and zipped it up. It was as long as my dress, but it was warm and thankfully blocked off my slutty Halloween costume from anyone's eyes. Logan moved out of my way fast and started to walk to his stairs but I grabbed his arm. He turned and I quickly threw myself into his body. He hugged me back hard and I shoved my face in his neck. He was the only person around me, who didn't berate me and make me feel stupid or slutty. He never once blamed me or said it was my fault. I knew it was, and he probably did too, but he didn't say it. He didn't come near me and I think it was because he just saw what Kendall did, but hugging him made me feel so safe. And comfortable. I squeezed onto him tight and let him kiss my temple sweetly. When I pulled away I waved at him and he waved back smiling. Carlos waved at me too and I walked out wrapping my arms around myself.

The drive was quiet and cold. I sat myself all the way in the back as Kendall drove my brothers car, with my brother in the passenger seat. James sat in the middle seats with Mandy's head on his lap. I sat with my legs pulled up into my chest and as soon as I laid my head on my knee, I fell asleep. I let Logan's cologne from his sweater waft into my nose and it comforted me. I didn't sleep for more than five minutes because Logan didn't live that far from us, so when I heard a soft hey, and opened my eyes I wasn't surprised to see my house. I raised my head and saw Kendall leaning into the car, the seat down so I could get out. I lowered my legs and unbuckled my seatbelt. As I started to climb out, he moved out of the way, but put out his hand. I took it gratefully and let him led me down. When my feet touched the ground his hand left mine and he slammed the car door. I swallowed hard and watched him walk up to the house, not bothering to wait for me. I felt worthless, but again, no one cared.

I walked into the brightly lit house and shut and locked the door behind me. I could hear Matt and James talking from Matt's downstairs bedroom and sighed out glancing around the house. Maddison wasn't here and the only thing in this house that I cared about was my bed upstairs. When I pushed off the door and stepped into the living room I jumped slightly hearing the stairs creak. I turned to them and frowned at Kendall who was sitting in the middle of them elbows on his knees arms out in front of him. He didn't seem so angry anymore but before I couldn't say anything to him I heard my brothers crutches. I sighed out and tensed up knowing I was about to get seriously yelled out. I walked to the couch and slipped out of my heels and flopped on the couch, pulling my legs up to my chest. Matt walked over to his chair and sat down hard unzipping his black jacket. James spotted Kendall and sat down a few stairs below him, both of them looking at me. I set my chin on my right knee and looked straight ahead at the fireplace. "So you gonna tell me what happened?" I looked over to my brother and bit my bottom lip. "I'm…I'm not mad at you. In fact I was talking with James and we are both pretty sure this was Mandy's idea." I looked back to the fireplace quick and swallowed hard. I wasn't going to throw her under the bus but maybe if she got in serious trouble she would know not to do it again. "I'm really glad you're okay Emma. In fact…if I had been there to pick you up, that guy who almost drugged you wouldn't have a few cuts. Although I appreciate that Kendall." I heard a snicker form the stairs and knew it was James. "You lied to me Emma…if not you, you let Mandy lie. About the costume which…just makes my stomach twist." I looked over to my brother with teary eyes and wiped my nose on Logan's sweater. "And you lied about where you were going. If I had known…no I wouldn't have let you go. But if I found out you hadn't gone where you were saying, I would have known where to find you. I'm not mad Emma. I'm scared out of my mind knowing what could have happened to you…to Mandy." I jumped off the couch fast and rushed over to my brother getting on his lap. I shoved my face into his neck and cried quietly. He held around me and kissed the top of my head. "I can't lose you Em's. Don't do this to me again." I nodded fast wiping my nose again on my sleeve. "Don't tell Kendall's dad but I actually invited him over because I know you'd want him here." I opened my eyes looking at Matt's neck and swallowed hard. "James and I are going to stay up with Mandy. Go get some sleep and keep your bedroom door open." I pushed off my brother and gave him a weird look. He laughed and tucked my hair behind my ears. "I trust him. And more importantly I trust you." I smiled small and looked down his body stopping on his dog tags. "Please burn this costume." I laughed loudly and wiped at my face nodding. I stood up and turned to the stairs seeing both of them staring at me. I walked right up to James who stood up, but not before scooping me up off the ground, pulling me into a big bear hug. I wrapped my arms around his head and let him squeeze me.

"Thanks for being there for her. And I'm so glad you're alright Emma. You have no idea how grateful I am to hug you." I nodded against him and watched Kendall stand up stretching his arms over his head. James set me down carefully and gave a quick bro hug to Kendall thanking him for hitting the guy making me roll my eyes. When James walked down the stairs to Matt I headed up them, passing Kendall. As I did, I grabbed his arm and dragged him behind me. He followed easily and when I got in my room, I unzipped the sweater on my body and set it on my desk. I went right to my dresser and opened it up grabbing a pair of short black shorts and a plain white big shirt, that was my brothers. I didn't turn to look at Kendall as I walked into my bathroom and closed the door behind me.

I took my time getting out of my dress, stockings and bra. I started crying again but hid the noises I was making by turning on the sink faucet. When I got changed into my shirt and shorts I splashed some water on my face and wiped all my makeup off my face. I was slow with it and gently cleansed my face with my soap and the hot water. After I washed my face, I brushed my teeth and with my toothbrush in my mouth I brushed the curls out of my hair. When I spit out the toothpaste, and wiped my face I glanced at myself in my mirror and prepare myself for the argument I was going to have with Kendall.

I walked out of my bathroom turning off the light. I stopped in the doorway however seeing Kendall sitting in the middle of my bed, shirtless. He was still wearing his jeans but had his shoes off. He was leaning up against the wall. My bed was in the corner of my room because I liked to feel the wall next to me as I slept. I actually liked to feel someone sleep next to me, like Logan used to do when he'd sneak in, but I wouldn't tell Kendall that. Kendall's legs were outstretched in front of him and he was flipping through the TV, looking for something to watch. I pushed off the door frame and walked to the end of my bed. He turned his head slowly to me and set the remote down next to him. I swallowed hard and crossed my arms over my chest. I chewed on the inside of my left cheek before I looked down at my bed and sighed out. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you where we were going. I didn't know anything would happen. If you don't want to be with me anymore, I understand. I get it if you don't trust me." I heard a small chuckle and looked up fast to see him smiling at me. His hands were folded in his lap but he looked so inviting all I wanted to do was curl up on his lap and fall asleep.

"I honestly thought you'd break up with me." I frowned and pulled myself up on the bed crawling to him. His arms opened up and I immediately went into his side laying my head on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around my body and I pulled my small soft throw blanket off from the end of the bed. I put it over us and closed my eyes breathing in his scent. "I'm so sorry I hit him in front of you. I'm not going to apologize for hitting him, but I shouldn't have freaked out like that, in front of you. And I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was scared." I opened my eyes and looked up at my TV which had Family Guy on it.

"It's okay. I should have known better. Mandy should have known better." His fingers slowly and very sweetly dragged up and down my back and one of my arms. I snuggled deeper into him and closed my eyes again. I wrapped both my arms around his body and kissed open chest.

"You wanna lay down?" I nodded fast and pushed off him crawling over his legs towards the top of my bed. One of his hands rubbed over my ass as it went by him, making me blush. I quickly pushed my blankets back and slid in them turning to him. I watched him pull himself off my bed and yawned loudly as he did so. I laid myself down as I watched him turn to me looking down his body awkwardly. I smirked and pulled the blankets back.

"You don't have to sleep in your jeans." He was quick to undo the leather belt around his jeans and pulled them off quick. As he stepped out of them he climbed in my bed, and lay on his side facing me. I scooted closer to him and set a hand on his chest, while one of his set on my head. I closed my eyes sighing out softly.

"Can I tell you something?" I opened my eyes quick and nodded rubbing his chest soothingly. "I love you." I tensed up and stopped moving my hand. "And not in a way that will make you think I'm only saying it cause were in your bed." I smiled and scooted closer to him moving my hand down to his ribs. His hand also moved down my body and rested on my hip. "I love you in a very real and adult way. And I felt it when you were at the hospital with your brother. I could tell I loved you from the first night I held you as you cried on my chest. I want to be there to protect you and hold you for a very long time. I love you Emma. With all my heart." I moved into his lips quickly and kissed him softly. His hand moved down from my hip, to my lower back above my butt. When I pulled my lips away from his I raised my hand and set it on his cheek.

"I love you too." His smile grew tenfold and I matched it equally. "You'll be here when I wake up right?" He nodded fast, pulling my body into his. I felt his bulge from below his waist but ignored it, pressing my chest into his. He kissed my forehead sweetly making me close my eyes and start to feel somewhat comfortable.


	13. Chapter 13

He looked so peaceful sleeping in my bed, under my blankets. It was raining outside and my phone said it was only 6:30, but I tossed and turned all night and finally woke up at 6, and haven't been able to sleep since. And that was okay. Because I liked to watch him sleep. He looked cute, but he also looked calm compared to how he was last night. I never wanted to see him like that again. However, knowing me, I was probably going to do something that pissed him off and we would have another argument, and he'd get angry again. Every healthy relationship has fights. I just hoped the next time we did, it wasn't for something stupid I did.

I had my head phones in and was listening to soft indie music, so I couldn't hear anything. But I saw my bedroom door open and watched my brother walk in, shirtless and only in sweats. His ribs were still wrapped up and I could see bruises and cuts, still. It made my stomach turn over, but remained motionless. He wasn't looking at my bed, or how Kendall and I. He was only going to my wide open window and shut it softly, blocking the rain and wind out. When he turned he turned towards me, and jumped, probably not expecting me to be sitting up. I smirked and pulled my head phones out of my ears looking down at Kendall. He was lying on his side, facing me, the blanket off, showing his naked torso. "How long have you been awake?" I looked up to my brother and shrugged yawning quietly. "Since I have you…and you're the only one awake, can you help me with something?" I nodded quickly and pushed the blankets off my legs. I gracefully climbed over Kendall and looked back as soon as my feet touched the ground. He was still sound asleep. "You might want to put on something warmer. We're taking a field trip outside." I sighed and grabbed Kendall's black zip up sweater and pulled it on. I zipped it up walking to my dresser and blindly pulled out some sweats. I slipped them on over my shorts and turned to my brother who was by the door. As I walked to him I grabbed Kendall's baseball cap he was wearing last night and put it over my messy bed hair. I walked down into our dark, quiet living room behind Matt who seemed to be getting better at the stairs without his crutches. I slipped on some of my running shoes and walked out after Matt towards the glass back door. "I should have taken the chairs inside last night but…" I nodded patting his shoulder and walked outside into the rain and cold. I blinked away some rain drops and shivered feeling the water run down the back of my neck. "You can just drag them under the patio. I'll have the guys put them in the garage for me." I nodded grabbing two clothed padded patio chairs. I made it all the way under the patio and quickly walked back out and grabbed two more chairs. "I'll make you some coffee Em's." I nodded dragging two more chair sunder the patio. I stood up straight and glanced out to the huge backyard seeing one chair out towards the end of the yard by the fence. I frowned and walked out into the grass clenching my fists together shivering slightly. When I reached the chair I picked it up by the handles. I turned and frowned seeing a figure walking towards me a black hood over his head. It was James and he wa sonly in a pair of basketball shorts and his sweater.

"Here…" He reached out for the chair and I gratefully let him take it. When he turned I followed after quick feeling my teeth chatter. When it set it down he turned and walked past me, going out back out into the yard. I stood and watched as he stacked three chairs on top of each other and easily walked them to me. When he set me down he turned me and pushed me to the glass door. I took my hat off my head and quickly shimmied out of my sweater. I set them both on one of the little hooks by the door and rubbed my hands together walking to my brother who was next to the coffee maker. "So…Mandy's parents called her. Their flight is delayed because of the weather. They won't be in until a little after five tonight." I leaned against my brother yawning and watched him pour three cups of coffee. "She's pretty upset about last night. She wants to talk to you Em's." I turned around and looked at my oldest friend. He looked exhausted as he sat himself down at out kitchen table.

"Here." I felt two cups of coffee get put in my hands and I looked down seeing Matt's hands. I took the coffee willingly and headed out of the kitchen ignoring the worried looks of my brother and best friend.

I walked slowly into the open door of Matt's room. It was lit up with one light, by the empty bed. I frowned walking to the dresser and put the cups of coffee down sighing out. I walked slowly over to the window and crossed my arms over my chest looking outside at the crappy day. I shivered, still being cold from my adventure outside, and just as I turned to go sit on Matt's big bed I heard the bathroom door open. A second later Mandy came walking in, a towel around her head and James's shirt on he was wearing last night. She wasn't wearing anything else, but when she saw me her clothes, the cop costume from last night, fell to the floor and she rushed to me. I embraced her, putting one hand the back of her head and the other around her shoulders. "Emma…I'm so sorry. James told me everything that happened. I should have never gone, and I should have never made you go with me. I'm so grateful we're friends…and that you were there." I laughed quietly, just so she didn't know I was crying. But she pulled away from me, and we locked eyes. She frowned and she moved one of her hands up from my waist and set it on my cheek, wiping at the tears.

"I was so scared Mandy. I saw you on the couch and all these guys were around you. If the guy I had been talking too, Will, wasn't there…I don't know what would have happened." She shook her head wiping away more of my tears and looked down.

"Well from what James said…this guy Will helped you get me outside, to my car. But When Kendall saw him and you said he tried to drug you, he punched the guy." I nodded and she glanced up smirking. "He's a keeper baby girl." I laughed and quickly wiped at my own face blushing. I turned away from her and jumped in my brothers bed getting under the covers. She was quick to follow me and laid right next to me, under the covers snuggling into me. I snuggled back and looked into her pretty blue eyes. "I'm really glad to know nothing happened to you. We'll…I'm pretty stoked nothing happened to me, either but…" I smiled and put my forehead on hers wrapping one of my arms around her, pulling her to me. "James is going to take me to my house to change and get ready for the game. I'm really hoping you're going to come. It's an away game." I nodded remembering the conversation I had with Kendall at lunch yesterday. I was sitting between his legs, my head on his chest and I asked him if he would go with me. He said yes and then we made out. I smiled at the memory.

"Are you guys gonna kiss or what?!" I sat up in the bed fast, along with Mandy and glared at Carlos and Logan who were leaning in the doorway staring at us. I quickly threw a pillow at Carlos who ducked out of the way and giggled walking in the room. "How you doing dude?" Carlos walked to Mandy who slid off the bed and let Carlos pull her into a tight hug. They hugged for a while and Logan walked in leaning up against the dresser. We locked eyes as I got off the bed and walked around Carlos and Mandy, still hugging. I gave Logan a small smile and he smiled back. I turned to the door and stopped quick. Kendall was standing in the doorway looking only at me. I smiled big at him and rushed to him, setting my hand son his bare sides. I kissed his chin letting his hands cup my lower back and pull me into him. "How's your hand man?" I felt Kendall raise it, but continued looking straight at his bare neck. "Well we wanted to check up on you guys but also…we were going to get some breakfast before we went to the game. You guys wanna come?" I looked up to Kendall who looked down at me before shrugging. I nodded hoping they all knew the shrug was for them and Kendall smirked. Without a warning, he bent down and threw me over his shoulder. I gasped out and raised myself putting my hands on his shoulder blades. He turned us and walked us out of the room and went right to the stairs.

After he threw me on my bed, and we made out a little, I made him get off me, and I took a shower. It was a warm shower that I didn't want to leave but eventually did. When I was done, I opened my bathroom door and peered out wondering if Kendall would want to see me just in a towel wet. But I frowned seeing my bedroom empty. I walked out and went to my dresser. I dropped my towel seeing my bedroom door shut and opened the top drawer of my dresser. As soon as I grabbed some panties, I heard a throat get cleared. I jumped and turned to my desk where Logan was sitting. His body stayed completely still as I scrambled to get my towel back over my body. My whole body was red from embarrassment as I locked eyes with him. "You couldn't have said something…"

"I thought you saw me. Besides…I've seen you naked before." I rolled my eyes grabbing my underwear and a bra, and walked to my closet. "What is it with Kendall? Why doesn't he like me?" I shut my closet door and dropped my towel shaking my head.

"Where is he?"

"With James and Mandy. James is taking him to get a change of clothes, and his sister." I nodded slipping on my panties and bra and glanced around my closet. "He hates me. I just want to know why. I haven't done a damn thing to him."

"You're my ex Logan. That's exactly why he doesn't like you." I heard him laugh and angrily took a white long sleeved shirt off a hanger. As I pulled it on I sighed. "I haven't really talked you up for the best outlook. And neither has James or Carlos for that matter."

"Nice fucking friends." I again angrily took off a pair of jeans on a hanger and pulled them on. Before I buckled them I walked out of my closet. He was still sitting at my desk with his head down, elbows on his knees. I walked to my bathroom and stood in front of my sink. I wiped at my mirror while grabbing my brush and pulling it through my wet hair. "It hit me last night. How much I miss you I mean." I tensed up seeing Logan get right behind me putting one hand on my hip. I turned in his hand slowly and shook my head. "I was so scared Emma. I thought something had happened to you and all I kept thinking about was…how shitty I was to you. About how I am just as scummy as those guys were and I could do nothing to change it. I can't go back and change what I did. But I can try to change your mind about me." He leaned into me so close I could smell the mint on his breath. I blindly set my brush on the counter behind me while my other hand went to his chest and pushed softly. Before I knew it, his lips were on mine, and for a split second, I welcomed it. But my eyes were open and I saw that the person kissing me wasn't Kendall. It was Logan and thinking his name in my head made me pull back and turn my head away from me.

"Can you let me get finished?"

"I don't want to be without you anymore." I closed my eyes feeling both his hands on my sides and set both my hands on his shoulders. His lips went to my neck and I let him kiss me. I felt so weird. I knew this wasn't right. Because he wasn't my boyfriend. But I think sub consciously my body yearned to feel Logan's hands and lips again, and I didn't stop him. Not right away anyway. When I did push him away I used force and he fell back into my bathroom door. I swallowed hard seeing how worked up he was.

"Don't do that Logan." He looked down clenching his fists down at his sides. "Don't try to break my walls down. And don't try to take advantage of the fact that I am weak when it comes to you." He glanced up and I shook my head. "I loved you with everything I had. Remember that? I gave you all of me. I just didn't want to screw and you acted like your true self. I can't ever be with you again Logan. You ruined all the trust and love I had for you, and that's on you."

"How was it so easy to just forget about me and move on?" I leaned back against my sink and he took a step forward. "Kendall can't be that great of a guy. Mr. Perfect in everything he does has to have some flaws. And I will do whatever it takes to prove it to you that he's just as shitty as me, according to you." I glanced out my bathroom door and really wanted to yell for my brother. "When he breaks your heart, like I know he will, I'll be waiting. And I'll have open arms to hold you with and kiss away your tears." He turned in a huff and walked out of the bathroom. I watched him, up until he stopped in the middle of my room and turned back to me. I swallowed hard and we locked eyes as he shook his head. "Are you going to tell him you let me kiss you?"

"I stopped you."

"Are you going to tell him about the first or second time?" He turned again and walked out of my room slamming the door behind him. My mouth dropped open as I heard him go down the stairs, laughing at something either Carlos said or did. All I could think was whatever I told Kendall he would believe. But I just didn't know how much he was going to like hearing.


	14. Chapter 14

I was stabbing at my eggs with my fork, while my other hand held my head up. There was an arm wrapped around my back, Kendall's arm, and it comforted me, but not by alot. I couldn't look at him so the thought of him touching me, hurt. How could I tell him I let Logan kiss me not once, but twice? Once I told him, he woud either break up with me on the spot, or break Logan's face, like Will from last night. Neither scenerio was gold in my head. "Why are you so quiet?" I looked over to my best friend quickly and shook my head at her hoping she could read it in my eyes, we'd talk later. "Babe you've barely eaten." Her voice sonded concerned and I smiled leaning into her close. I closed my eyes and breathed out harshly as I whispered.

"Logan kissed me twice and I don't know how to tell Kendall." I pulled away and quickly shoved eggs into my mouth looking up at the half circle booth we were sittign in. My eyes fell on Logan, who ever since we got in his car, hasn't stopped lookign at me, smiling. I hated him. Every ounce of my body yearned for his stupid smug smile to get punched off his stupid smug face. A little hearsh? Probably but he deserved it. When he saw me looking at him, he leaned forward on the table and laughed quietly to himself taking a sip of his juice.

"So? How do you guys think the game is gonna go?" Kendall's soft voice made my whole core shake and sit back into his arm. I coudl tell Logan was still watching me so to be a bitch, and because it was something Mandy told me to do a long time ago, I decided to rub it in his face, I wasn't his.

"And you care all of the sudden?" I turned to James who gave a weird look to Kendall who laughed and opened his mouth to respond, but i beat him to it. I leaned up and forward and crashed my lips into his hard. His arm aroudn my back wrapped tight aorund me, instinctively, pulling me up on him. I set my hands on his neck and tried to deepen the kiss without any success. He pushed me back quick and when I opened my eyes I saw his cheeks flushed and his eyes darting aorund our tabel of friends. "Fuck dude. What did you do to her?" I blushed hard and looked down in my lap corssing my legs. One of Mandy's hands patted my thigh as if to say, atta girl. I swallowed hard and dared to look up. Logan was staring right at me, smile gone. I wish I had the guts to say something, but nothing came out. And instead of anyone else saying anything, Logan did. Because of course.

"You know what I miss the msot about Emma?" I felt Kendall, immedietly tense next to me and set a hand on his thigh. "How I knew no matter what guy came around her, she would never wander, because at the end of the day, I was the only dick she ever had, so why would she look else where?" My cheeks felt as if I coudl literally fry an egg on them and tried to sink down deepper into Kendall's side. "I guess thats why its so easy to get her back." He paused and turned his head slightly to Kendall. "I guess that's why it was so easy to get in her room and kiss her. Twice." Every head snapped to me. Except one. Kendall's. As I turned to look at him all he was looking at was Logan. "That look on your face tells me, she didnt tell you we made out a little in her room while you were gone. Of course, you got to wonder why? Maybe because she didn't stop me?"

"You are such a prick you know that?" Mandy's strong pissed off voice helped me look away from Kendall down to my plate and hope I could melt into my eggs and french toast. "Do you honestly think anyone belives you?"

"I don't need just anyone to belive me. Just one. And it looks like he does." Logan stood up fast pulling out his wallet and set down some bills. I watched him pull his grey sweater on as he left the diner and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

"Fucking asshole. James go kill him. Carlos help." I turned and saw James giving me a weird, alomst disappointed look, but turned away to see Carlos sliding out of the booth. "Come on...lets go cool down Logan and let them talk." Her voice was small as she pushed on James broad shoulder forcing him out of the booth. As James stood up, and so did Carlos, Kendall started tt move after him. Mandy saw and turned to me.

"Kendall...talk to me." My voice was pathetic and quiet, Kendall either not hearing, or caring. "Kendall..."

"I don't need to talk to you." The way he said you, didn't hit me until I saw him brush past Carlos who wasn't quick enough to stop him. He meant he needed to talk to someone, just not me.

"Kendall stop!" I leapt out of the booth and just like Kendall, I shoved past Carlos. However by the time I made it out of the diner, I was too late. Kendall shoved Logan hard makign him run inot his car. Logan turned quick and swung hard. I heard bones hit onto bones as Kendall fell holding onto his face. I heard the ding from the diner door, and hurried footsteps but they weren't fast enough. Kendall got back up and swung, hitting Logan at about the same force, and in the same area as he got hit. Logan fell to the ground just as James and Carlos got between them. Carlos knelt doww next to Logan as James tried to touch Kendall's bleeding nose. Kendall shoved him away and turned aorund huffing, putting his hands on his hips staring directly at me. I was crying but wasnt sure why.

"Do you still have feelings for him?" I sobbed out a little and moved forward but Kendall seemed unfazed. "DO you still have feelings for him!?" He shouted which made me jump and look down. "I'm going to take your silence as a yes." I heard footsteps and looked up to my horror to seem him walking away.

"I love you Kendall!" I yelled as loud as I could which made him stop. He put his hands down at his sides and turned to me shaking his head.

"That's not what I asked Emma." His voice was calmer and quieter. Before I could say anything Logan got in front of me blocking Kendall and I.

"You can't except the fact that I had her before you. You can't get over that I was the first guy to take her on her first date or feel inside her." I blushed seeing Carlos, James and Mandy circling the three of us cautiously. "You dont care about the fact that her last boyfrined broke her heart. All you care about, and have cared about since oyu found out she was single, was she was a virgin." Everyone went quiet and I peered aorund Logan at Kendall who seemed to have calmed down. "She isn't anythign more than a prize to you. Another notch in your belt. You want only one thing from her. And the more I try to win her back, foils your plan."

"You have no idea how I feel about her. And you don't know jack shit about me." Logan laughed and something he told me earlier crept in my head. He was goign to find out that Kendall wasnt mister perfect. Had he already?

"Hey Emma, has Kendall ever told you about a girlfriend he left in sunny California?" I swallowed hard and stepped forward lookign at Kendall who if I didnt know better was starting to look worried. "Casue I was curious. Those pictures he use to carry in his wallet of those girls? At first I thought he was trying to show off to us guys. But I heard from his dad, who fixed my car for me that Kendall here was practicually dragged my his little sister to live out here. All because Kendall didnt want to leave his trophy girlfriends on the beach. And the main reason he wanted to stay was because of his latest endevour. Jo Taylor." I saw Kendall swallow hard and look at the gorund as I stepped in front of Logan, two feet from Kendall. "Your mom really liked her. But she knew your game because she met plenty of other Jo Taylor's you brougth to meet her. Your mom told your dad, who seemed to just open up to me, that Jo was happy you were leaving. Because the nigth before you left, you tried to focre her to have sex with you. Sound familiar?" I felt my stomach turn into a billion flips as Kendall dared to glance at me. I wasn't crying anymore because i wasnt sad or scared to loose Kendall. I was mad.

"Kendall?" My voice was quiet, but surprisingly strong. "You told me you were a virgin." He wiped at the blood tryign to go in his mouth and felt like throwing up. "Don't come near me again." I turned fast, not remebering Logan was behind me and ran into him. He set his hands on my arms gently but I shoved at him hard. "If you honestly think finding out about all that would make me take you back, your an idiot." I walked past him and pulled my phone out of my jacket dialign my brother quick.

"Emma?" I didn't look at Mandy as she stood next to me at the diner entrance.

"I want to be alone. I'm having Matt pick me up." She turned fast and went to Logan's car getting in quietly. I heard Matt's voice on the other end of the phone and shivered in the cold. "Can you pick me up? I'm at that diner down the street from Mandy's house."

"Where is Kendall? Or James?"

"I'll explain later." I felt my lip quiver as I cried out a little and closed my eyes shaking my head. "Can you please jsut pick me up?"

"Of course. Be there in 5." I hung up my phone fast and looked at my group of friends and two ex boyfriends staring at me.

"We have to go to the game guys..." Carlos gently hit James who gave me a sad smile but i shook him off. I smield small and whispered good luck before turning away. I didnt want him to see me cry cause he would have stayed, and football is eveyrthign to him. I waited to turn aorund until I heard the engine start and the car pull away. When I did turn, i was left alone. I kicked a rock as I walked to a bench and sat down hard. I was mad, and i was sad, but mostly i just wanted to sleep. I wanted to forget about the entire morning and fall asleep. I naively thoguht if i woke up later, maybe i would find out that all this was a bad dream. But it wasn't. Because I shoudl have seen the signs. Kendall didn't move slow at first. We were physical right off the bat. Maybe he was trying to find out if I had alot of experience and how far i'd let him go. Or maybe he was just super inot me. But what if all those things Logan was saying, were true? That Kendall was just trying to get the v card form me. How could i have been so stupid?

Our drive back to the house was quiet. Matt asked me waht happened but I told I didn't want to talk abot it. If we did he'd killd Kendall. And I necaessarly didnt want that yet. But again, all I wanted was sleep. I didnt want to think, feel or talk. Just sleep. When we got home I hurried out of his truck quick and into the house. I left the door open and rushed up the stairs hearing him sigh as he shut the door. As soon I was in my room, door shut but not locked, I kicked off my shoes, pulled off my pants and crawled on my bed. I pulled my blankets back and got under, incuding my head, squeezing my eyes shut hard. My sleep came quick, not realizing that in the last 24 hours, I hadn't got a lot of sleep and been through a bit. I fell asleep fast and hard, without another thought of it.


	15. Chapter 15

When i woke up my room was almost compeltly black except from the lighting filled sky. Thunder clapped above the house making me jump slightly, but i stayed laying down. It wasnt until I heard my door squeak open that I even raised my head. i turned it slightly and smirked seeing James trying to shut it quietly. He was wearing his jersey and black jeans holding what I had to assume was the winning football. I slowly pushed myself up looking back out my window at the horrible storm outside and turned sitting on my butt. James was already sitting on my bed ball in his lap looking at me. I pulled my hair out of my bun and frowned at him and the ball in his lap. "Did we win?"

"We killed them. I got the game ball for 4 touchdowns." I smiled foding my arms in my lap shaking my head.

"Sorry Imissed it." He shurgged looking aorund my room tapping on the ball. "You didn't come up here to talk football did you?"

"No. But i don't want to bombard you right away." I laughed and kicked the blankets off my body exposing my bare legs to him. I saw him look down at them and swallow hard before looking away. "I got a congrats kiss after the game." I raised an eyebrow pulling my legs to my chest yawning. "Mandy ran up to me after my last touchdown as the game buzzer went out, and kissed me hard. It was great." I smirked and looked down, nodding. "But I didnt feel anything." I looked up quick and saw him staring at me. "You don't know what it feels like to be cheated on. It killed me Em's. I love that girl, I honsetly do, but I can't ever be with her again. And I told her that." I lowered my legs and scooted towards him seeing how hurt he was. "I also told her I might have met someone new." I frowned putting a hand on his huge shoulder and shook my head.

"James you two were meant for each other."

"What if we werent though? What if there was someone else out there for me, someone who has been there for me my whole life, just like I have been for her?" I froze with my hand on his shoulder and watched his eyes dart aroudn my face. "What if this whoel time I watched this amazing, beautiful smart girl get her heart stomped on by guys who could never love her like I do, I coud have been with her? Instead of having bad memories she could have had good ones, filled with love and laughter?" I swallowed hard lowering my hand from his shoulder and shivered at another thunder clap. "Do you have any idea how much it kills me to see Kendall and Logan and think what fucking idiots they are for hurting you. Do you know whats it's like to think no one could ever love anyone more than me loving you, but not knowign how to tell you because I can't lose you?" He paused and looked down, carefully taking one of my hands into one of his. "I think i've known about loving you, for a while now. Ever since Logan, I just thought, no way does this douche bag deserve her. He never once realzied what kind of gem he had in front of him. Adn he ruined it. And I thought, okay, good. She's hurt but at least she can't be hurt any more. And then Kendall came inot the picture and..." I stopped him by standing up fast and going to my door. I opened it and poked my head out of it hearing for noise. It didnt sound like Matt was home but I had to make sure. "No one was here. Matt left a note on the couch for you saying he went to dinner with Maddison. Are you alirhgt?" I closed my bedroom door quick and locked it, without thinking about it. I turned to see James giving me a weird concerned look.

To say I had never thoguht about being with James whould be a lie. A huge horrible lie. He wasn't that slitghly chubby, nerdy kid(who i thought was adorable even then) who was my only friend until meeting Carlos. He was fit, and handsome, and most imprtantly, nice. He was kidn to every person he met. I loved it about him. Just because he got hot and buff, he didn't change his personality. And somewhere deep, deep, down in my soul, i knew Mandy wasn't right for him. I would never tell her that because she was in love with him, but I kenw James. He needed someone more. Someone...like me. "I kind of just poured my soul out to you and you haven't said one word." I pushed off my door and walked to him. i stopped right in front of him taking the ball from him and looking donw at it.

"Are you gonna let me keep this ball?" He sighed confused as I looked up with an eyebrow raised. "The two game balls couch let you take after your games in freshman you let me have. But then you started dating Mandy and i never saw another game ball." He smirked looking down and I tucked the ball under my arm walkking to my closet.

"I know i'm a guy and this will sound weird put can you put your pants on? Your ass is distracting." I smirked as I stood on tippy toes grabbing a shoe box on the shelf in my closet. As I walked back out to him, hodling the ball and box i gently pushed him donw on my bed sitting next to him.

"Did you know every little thing you've given me, every picture of just us, i've kept?" I eyed him as i opened the box and smiled as his mouth dropped oepn. He grabbed a picture of us, from freshman year. He wasn't as big yet but was still able to hold me up. He had me in his arms as I held up my learners permit and he held his. We were so proud of ourselves.

"God damn look how small I look." I laughed grabbing another picture of another happy memory and shook my head. "The first time you and Logan went out. Mandy and I sat behind you guys at the theater, per your dad. You kept the ticket." I looked at the small piece of paper in his hand and nodded glancing up to his face. "Why are you showing me?"

"Because..." I paused and felt a pang fo hurt rip thoruhg my heart seeing a picture hanging on my wall. The picture Kendall drew of my parents after they died. "Because you poured your soul out to me i was thinking maybe I should do the same." He put his head back down quick, blushing looking at the memories. "I dont know how to feel right now James. I kind of got my heart ripped out of my chest today." He looked up slowy and we locked eyes. "I can't deny i've always had a crush on you. But getting into anything right now?"

"I understand." He smield small and looked back down at the box pulling out a stack of notes tied together by a rubber band. Notes we would pass to each other in class. "You kept the weirdest shit dude." i smiled lookign down and felt another painful pang roll throuh me. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, because of all those tiems Mandy told me what it was like, btu soemthing was stopping me. My broken heart. "I should let you go back to sleep. You look exhausted." He tried to stand, putting the box beside him, but I stopped him. He looked down at my hand on his arm and i swallowed hard.

"Stay." It was barely a whisper but he heard me. He set a hand on my face and I pushed into it. "I don't want anyoen to know. Not yet." With him hearing me say that, it was as if took it as permission. He moved in fast and kissed me hard. Our lips smashed together awkwardly for a second. I kept thinking about all those times I called him my brother. But the thougth passed when he put his hands on my sides and gnetly pushed me back on my bed. He stood up, only to reajust himself as he laid over top of me. I put my hands on his neck and oepend my mouth letting his skillfull tongue work its magic. Mandy was right. He was an incredible kisser. So much so, I didnt realize he was moving one of his hands down my body and up and under my shirt. When his hand cupped my right breast i pulled away from the kiss gasping quietly. I wrapped my legs around the back fo his and ran my fingers on both hands up through his wet hair. His lips peppered kisses on my open neck as he started to message my breast. "James?" He sat up fast putting both hands outside my head, looking worried. I smiled and put my hands on his face. One finger traced over his lips and he blushed. "I want..." I paused and he sawllowed hard bending down slightly.

"I didnt mean to go so fast." I shook my head and he kissed my lips slightly.

"It's not that." He sat up again and frowned. "I want you to be my first time." He sat up competly on his knees and then got off the bed. I nodded sitting up on my elbows before pushing myself up to stand in frotn of him. "I can't imagine it beign with anyoen else." With that i tugged on my panty line and started to pull, but i was stopped. I glanced to his face to see him shaking his head. I frowned.

"Are you sure?" His voice was barely a whisper and i nodded dragging his hands to my hips. I tucked two of hsi fingers into either side of my underwear and put my hands on his chest. " I love you Emma." I got on tippy toes, wrapping my arms aroudn his neck as he started to pull my pnaties down. As he went he kissed down my jaw and my neck stopping at my shirt. When my underwear was low enough it just fell down my legs, encouring his hands to trace back up my his fingertips were back on my hips I lowered my arms.

"I love you too James. More than you will ever know." He laughed quietly shaking his head and I gently tugged on his shirt. He took the hint and pulled off the jersey fast thrwoing it carelessly behind him. I sighed lookign down his sculpted, rock hard chest and put my hands on his pecks. "Fuck." I glanced up his face as he looked down my body and shook his head.

"Just what i was thinking." I blushed realizing how exposed I was and qucikly went to work on his belt. However he didnt let me finish. I was put gently on my bed and watched in awe as he undid his pants and kicked out of his shoes and socks. He pulled off his jeans and boxers and swallowed hard seeing how...big he was. I had seen Logans, and felt Kendalls. And they either weren't hard, or James was as big as he looked. When he was compelty undressed one hand went on my face and he cupped it, as he bent donw in front of me. "Are you sure?" I nodded again kissing him softly and tore off my shirt feeling something weird happening in my stomach. As the shirt hit the gorund and he soaked in my half naked torso i quickly unhooked my bra and threw that to the floor as well. As i pulled my self up completly onto my bed he followed on hands and knees never looking away from my eyes.

"I don't have any condoms." He stopped and quickly got off my bed. He picked up his jeans and pulled out his wallet. He looekd through it as i laid on my back brushing hair out of my face calming my breathing down. I was about to have sex for the first time. And not just with any body. My best friend. A guy i could trust and love and know would never hurt me. That thought alone calmed me as he climbed over me, trapping me under his large body. "I thought you weren't supposed to keep condoms in your wallet?" He laughed setting it down beside me hovering over me. I felt his penis touch my leg and it made me glance down. I swallwed hard knowing this would probably hurt, but felt too arroused to care.

"You shouldn't but i just put it in there." I looked back up at his face and nodded. i raisedd one of my hands setting it on his face pulling it down to me. I kissed him softly and tried to remain in control of the power but he quickly took over. His lips moved down my lips and onto my neck. When he started to move down my chest onto my breast i ran my hands up throuh his hair. He put his hands donw on my legs and gently spread them as he put a nipple in hs mouth. I closed my eyes and pushed up into his mouth moanign quietly. While he got my legs spread his mouth left my body making me open my eyes. My hands fell down beside me as he sat up on his knees between my now spread legs. "How far..." He trailed off and we locked eyes. I smiled and he shook his head sitting back on his feet. "Logan used to talk." I blushed and sat up on my elbows getting lost in his beautiful hazel eyes.

"He popped my cherry. With a finger. And I gave him a couple of blow jobs and he ate me out a coupel times. That's it." He looked sad hearing what I was saying but shoved the thought out of his head putting his hands on my knees. "I heard...and have read it isn't as bad for your first time if you..." i stopped, feeling embrassed and he leaned in quick putting his mouth by mine.

"Whatever you tell me to do, i'll do. I'm not taking a step forward until you tell me. But," I looked down at his hands as they went outside my body making me swallow hard. "Not to toot my own horn, i'm a little bigger than normal."

"I noticed." He laughed kissing my ear and I laid back down.

"I'm afarid it's going to hurt no matter what. It did for Mandy." I cringed hearing her name but moved on. I was quick to grab his right arm and put it down in front of a private part only Logan had ever seen. He looked down and watched as i glided two fingers inside me. I moaned out a little louder than the first and arched my back, turning my head. "Do you want me to keep going?" I nodded almsot agrressively and he started a slow soft in and out motion. I gripped onto his shoulders as he took my right nipple in his mouth again biting gently. I closed my eyes feeling my eyes roll into the back of my head at the amazing feeling i was feeling. It felt so good, already i wanted him to go faster. Or maybed even add another finger. Logan would put three in, which is how my cherry pooped, but that was as far as we got. Because by that time, I was already cumming. "You feel so tight." His voice was a whisper over my boobs and it made me open my eyes and turn my head to look at him. His eyes were clsoed as he held himself up with one hand while the other still worked in and out of me. Everytime his arm would move I saw his penis almost flinch as if in pain. I swallowed hard and carefully grabbed the condom, opening the wrapper. This made him open his eyes and sit up a little. He started to pull his fingers out but i shook my head.

"Kepp going." He obliged cupping my right breast with his left hand. i sat up a little not used to the very slight pleasure i did feel with the shift diffrence as his fingers continued to work in me. As i puleld the ocndom out of the package, i looked at the back at the instructions and quickly slid the condom on him looking up at his face. One thing i remembered from Logan was he loved getting a hand job. It looked like James was no diffrent. I swallowed hard seeing him hunch foward putting his lips on my shoulder still fingering me. I stroked up and down his length, trying to get used to the feeling, knowing it woudln't be as clsoe to what it would be inside me. "James..." He raised his head and we locked eyes. "I'm ready." His fingers were out of me and i was pushed back gently. I grabbed my blanket underneath me and tugged watching him raise my legs as he stroked himself a ilttle faster than i was. When he finsihed he put both hands outside my head and leaned down into my mouth. He kissed me passiontetly just for a minute beofre pulling away ever so.

"I'm so sorry if this hurts." I nodded smiling small and put one hand up on his body. He breathed out hard and glanced down between us, grabbing himself. He gently set the tip at my entrance and i tensed up. "I love you Emma."

"I love you t-" I was cut off by my own loud yell as he pushed himsefl inside me. Quickly he laid down on top of me and kissed inot my hair as i wrapped aorund him, feeling a few tears fall out of my squeezed shut eyes. I dug my fingernails into his back as he pulled out a little, and softly pushed back in. He kissed all over my face and my hair whispering I love you over and over. I dont know how long it took for the pain to stop but when it finally did i lowered my arms from around him and laid my head back down on my pillow. I quickly wiped my face of tears and heard my bed squeak as he pushed inside. One of his hands was underneath my head cupping it gently. The other hand wiped away a tear I missed and I blushed hard.

"Are you okay?" Another squeak and i nodded forcing a smile. No I wasn't okay but it was sort of starting to feel good. "Are you sure?" I laughed and turned my head away from him, knowing he knew me too well to try to lie to him. "I am really glad your brother wasn't home. He would have fucking killed me hearing you scream." I arched my back a little as a small jolt of pleasure raced to my heart and I gripped his rib cage on either side.

"I screamed?" I furowed my brows suddenly feeling very good and moaned queitly.

"Yeah...but its okay." I blushed looking down and raised my head a little to see just how deepp inside he was. I breathed out hard and put my head back down, closing my eyes. One hand raised up and went through my hair, as the other ran through his. "Does it feel better?" I nodded and let him kiss along my face. "God I love you Emma." I smiled at this and wrapped my legs around his butt pushing him into me a little bit.

"How could I have waited this long to be with you." He laughed queitly and I opend my eyes to see him looking down at me. "I love you James." He moved a hand up to my face and cupped it as he started to pick up the pace and go just a little harder. I turned my head into his hand and kissed his palm. While I started to feel a sort of tingle between my legs, I moved his hand on my face down my body and put a finger of my clit. For the times before that i had it touched, it sent me over the edge. As James started to slowly circle around it i shamelessly let out loud groans. It wasnt until i looked up to see him on his knees, one arm under my back holding me up still rubbing me, that I realized I was abotu to cum. I didnt know if i should tell him or just let it happen but i wasnt given much time to think about it. I felt a serious amount of pleasure hit my brain just as i let out an ear shattering scream and started to gently shake under his touch. My eyes went into the back of my head and all I saw was white. I heard James cuss several times before feeing his hands on my hips, gripping hard. I felt some pain again as his pushing isndie me became more erratic but by the time I calmed down, a little bit, and opened my eyes he was only pushing and pulling in me slowly and softly. His eyes were squeezed shut tight and he had sweat drippign donw his face onto his neck. I put my hadns on his, panting and withotu a word said he pulled out of me. I winched at the mometnary pain but sat up quick. I grabbed around the back of his neck and pulled him down as I laid back down. His eyes oepend and I smailed shyly as I began to wipe sweat from his forehead.

"Are you alright? I kind of lost control there for a minute." i laughed as he turned his head and wiped more sweat onto his shoulder making my arms fall to my sides. "I'll be rigth back." I nodded as he gracefully jumped off my bed pulling the condom off him and went in my bathroom. He shut the door just as i stood up and grabbed a towel off the back of my chair by my desk. I wiped my face and body before gently wiping between my legs. I could feel i was wet and was slightly embrassed by it. After drying myself I threw the towel to the hamer and sat back down on my bed. I breathed out hard and patted my hair down trying to make it look decent. I heard the faucet in the bathroom get shut off and tensed up hearing the door open.

James walked out wiping his face, still compeltly nude. He walked right next to me and sat down breathing hard. I turned to him slightly and put a hand on his arm. He looked down at me as he dried his neck and smirked a half cocky smile. I smield back and he laughed tossing the towel to the hamper I just threw mine in. "James..." He was quick to push me back on my bed under the covers and slide in next to me. However I was abotu to snuggle up next to him when he jumped off the bed looking at his hand.

"Are you bleeding?" I sat up fast and kicked my blankets off. I turned on the lamp by my bed and went red form head to toe seeing the blood on my blanket, soaked threw to my sheet. "I thought you said Logan popped your cherry."

" I thoguth he did." I said it quietly, too embarrrased to even look at him as i started to strip the bed.

"Em's it's okay. It's normal. It's nothing to be embarrsed about." I snorted loudly as I balled up all of my bedding and threw it on the floor. I was grateful to see no blood on my matress and turned to my dresser wlaking to it quickly. I worked quick to put on a tank top and some boy short underwear. As I puleld on some sweats, I glanced over my sholder to see James pulling on his pants. He caught me staring and smiled small. "You okay?" I nodded turning to him and crossed my arms over my stoamch. "Soooo?" I laughed quietly at the awkardness and he smiled waking towards me. "Can I stay for dinner?" I nodded putting my hands on his pecks rubbing them up to his shoulders. He put his hands on my hips and leaned down to kiss me. Before anything could get too heated I heard my front door open. I pushed him back slightly and turned my head to my beroom door waiting to hear my brother. Instead, it was Mandy.

"Emma? Are you up there?" I looked at James who sighed out digging his fingers into my hips.

"Go through the window please. I'll call you when she leaves."

"She's just here to bitch about me to you, about this new girl, who happens to be you." I frowned and waked to my window opening it. I was hit with harsh cold wind but shook my head at him. "Fine. But there has to be some kind of punishment for this." I smirked and nodded. He stopped in front of me kissing me hard and squeezing my side. I squeaked out a little but silenced it hearing my stairs creak.

"Hang on Mandy." I shoved at James who put one foot out my two story window, like he's done so many times, under diffrent circumstances. "Wait." I whispered as I grabbed his shoulder quick and pulled him back into me. I kissed his lips hard with passion before letting him go but staying close. "I love you." He gave me a have smile and reached around pinching my butt.

"I love you too. Don't take to long." I laughed and nodded waving one last time as he gracefully slid down the side of the house. I shut the window fast and sighed out knwoign this was goign to be a lot longer than he wanted.


	16. Chapter 16

**James's P.O.V.**

I didn't like sitting by myself, looking like a lost puppy. I didn't like the feeling of helplessness watching the scene unfold 20 feet away from me. Part of me felt guilty because while I was on the road to fixing one heart, another one broke in the process. But my own heart still hurt and that guilt kind of just got replaced with pure rage. I was conflicted on how to feel but it was nothing compared to how I felt seeing her giving a fake smile and hug a girl I onced loved. She looked miserable if I had to be real, and it was probably my fault. We were together, not 24 hours after she got her heart broken. And it must have killed her to be going behind Mandy's back. But at the same time all I saw when I looked at her was happiness. Maybe she's been wanting to be with me for as long as i've been wanting her. And now, we had each other, I couldn't find a damn thing wrong with my life.

"Hey, what's going on?" I slowly turned my head to the left and watched Carlos, Logan and surprisngly Kendall walking towards me. I ate the rest of the buttered toast my mom had ready for me before I left for school and slid off the back of my open truck bed turning my back on them. "How's it going with Mandy? She left the game yesterday crying." I shrugged not feelig like talking, especially with Kendall, or Logan and shut my truck bed door hard. "Dude..."

"I don't want to talk about it." I put my black back on one shoulder glancing up at Emma and Mandy who were still leaning against Mandy's car, talking closely. From Emma's texts all night, Mandy stayed at her house and drove her to school, so she felt obligated to stay with her. But I was feeling needy.

"Did you talk with Emma yesterday?" I snapped my head back to see Kendall staring me down, black bags under his eyes.

"Yeah. Mostly let her cry herslef on me all day." It was a lie but he looked down fast and Logan sighed out standing in front of him. Almost protectively.

"Look, I fucked up with her. She dumped me. I'm finally over it. But the shit I said yesterday about Kendall...yeah it was all true but he's in love with her. I think he could be really good for her." I chcukled leaning against my truck, Carlos next to me keeping me away from the other two. "I know you have a way with her James. Just talk to her..."

"I'm not going to say shit to her about you." Kendall slowly turned himself away from me and I laughed again. "Do you have any idea what Matt is going to do to you when he gets around you? Do you have any idea how bad I want to fucking rip your throat out right now, but know how upset she would be if I did?" I turned my angry gaze to Logan and shook my head. "And you...I've been through a lot of shit with you. If you're going to side with him you can get the fuck out of my life." I spun fast on my heels and started walking towards Mandy's car suddenly not seeing Emma or Mandy. I heard hurried footsteps behind me and felt relieved seeing Carlos walking along beside me. He said quiet hey's to people as we walked up to the school but remained quiet to me. It wasn't until I saw standing under the tree we always eat under Emma and Mandy that I turned to him and stood in front of him, stopping him from walking. I glanced around making sure no one was around to hear and leaned down to his level. "Emma and I had sex yesterday." Carlos's eyes got huge, and his mouth dropped open to the cracked pavement under our feet. I put up my hands shaking my head fast and breathed out hard. "Don't say a fucking word. Mandy is a wreck and Emma doesn't want Logan or Kendall to know. But..." I blushed suddenly thinking about how much I loved her and how just last night I was inside her hearing her moan my name. "I love her Carlos. I always have I just..."

"Dude..." We locked eyes and he grinned big. "Everyone always thought you two would end up together. Everyone except you two." I smirked and glanced over my shoulder seeing I was being watched by Emma. There were now a group of girls aroudn them and I sighed out turning back to Carlos who was staring over at Emma and Mandy. "When are you guys going to tell people?" I shurgged not remembering if Emma and I ever discussed it and he clapped my shoulder. "You know you can trust me. How many of your secrets do I know?" I luaghed and nodded, not even second guessing that. "So it's Halloween. You got plans tonight?" I turned slowly and started to make my way to the girls knowing I would have to face Mandy eventually.

"No. But my parents are out of town because one of my cousins is having a baby. I was thinking of having a small party tonight. Watch scary movies...that kind of thing." He nodded fast in agreement just as we got to the girls. Emma smiled at me but it faded seeing Mandy turn to me. She looked like a wreck. Eyes red and puffy probably from crying. She had on no makeup and her hair was up in a bun on her head. I sighed out opening my mouth to maybe say something, but some of the girls from the group offered to walk to her locker with her. She turned quick and every single girl left. Except Emma. She walked to me fast but stopped short seeing Carlos next to me. Before i could reiterate not to say anything he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and grinned like an idiot.

"James and Emma sitting in a tree...banging all damn day." Emma's mouth flew open like Carlos had earlier and while she shoved him off her stomping her foot turning away from me, I also shoved Carlos and started to chase after her. She was headed to the office, for her first class but I got to her first.

"He's not going to say anything." I held her arm gently and she glared up at me shaking her head.

"I don't care that you trust him. I asked you not to say anything. You just couldn't resist inflating your ego and telling your buddy we had...sex." She said it quietly glancing around, and while she did, so did I. I leaned in quick not seeing anyone who would think twice about it and kissed her lips fast. I pulled back and reached donw at the same time tickling her stomach. She giggled backing away and looked at the gorund sighing out. "I know I told you yesterday i was fine but..." She glanced back up and i frowned seeing her wrap her arms around her stomach. "It hurts to sit, you asshole." I laughed but covered it up shrugging.

"You could have stayed home from school. I could have stayed with you and kissed it better." She blushed looking around me, and quickly her demenor changed. I glanced back quick and saw Carlos walking backwards, while Kendall and Logan followed. "I guess Logan and Kendall are best buddies now." I turned back to her in time to see her roll her eyes. "Logan asked me to talk to you for Kendall's sake." She snorted and turned urging me to follow. As I walked beside her I glanced back again to see I was being watched by Kendall and Logan. I brushed it off and looked ahead as he walked in the school heading for her locker. "So tonight...i'm going to invite some people over and watch scary movies and hang out. My parents are out of town."

"Yeah...your mom came over and talked with Matt this morning. She asked him to check in on you every now and then. Matt joked saying you'd probably be over at our house the whole time." I chuckled leaning agaisnt the wall as she opeed her top locker, right on the edge. "Are you going to invite..." She stopped short opening her locker and we both looked at Kendall and Logan walking past us not saying a word. She sighed out quickly switching out books and grabbing extra pencils.

"I won'f if you don't want me too." SHe shrugged taking an extra notebook out of her clean and orginized locker and I nodded. "Carlos knows my parents are out of town. He probably already mentioned it to them. Knowing Logan, he'll just show up." She shut her locker quick and turned to me holding around a text book giving me big doe eyes.

"As long as you don't let me be alone with either of them, i'm fine." I nodded, obviosuly having no problems with that and she sighed out. "You wanna walk me to the office?" I nodded again and we turned to start walking again. "So...Mandy..." I groaned quietly knowing this would eventually happen and she grabbed my bicep squeezing softy. "She kept asking over and over who this mysterious girl was and I played it cool saying I didnt know. It took some time but I think she's fianally going to start moving on. She asked if I would be too upset if she asked Logan to go to dinner with her sometime." I stopped walking quick but she kept going. When she realized I wasnt with her, she turned giving me a sad look. "She's always been into him. And I guess he's always just been so nice." She mocked Mandy's voice as she stepped in front of me and shurgged. "I told her I didn't care. And i told her I honestly didn't think you would either. Given who your mystery girl is and all." I delfated a little and looked up and over her head. "You and I said three very important words to each other last night. Don't tell me hearing your ex might date your best friend makes you jealous cause I can't take that again James. I can't take another heart break." I moved forward quick but she looked away at the kids walking past us.

"I love you Emma. I don't care who she dates." She nodded still not looking at me and I smirked. "Wanna ditch with me today? 6th period?" She rolled her eyes giving me a mean stare and I laughed. "You could go shopping with me to get food and drinks for tonight. I'll buy you lunch." She shook her head walking backwards towards the office and i smiled.

"What about practce?."

"We have none since it's Halloween. See you at lunch." I waved softly as she dipped into the office disappering from my line of vision, laughing but nodding at me.

Being by myself, standing in the hallway, i started to feel guilt again. What if when Mandy found out about Emma and I, it ended thier relationship? That woudl kill me and make me feel awful. But was it worth losing some friends? Being in love with your soulmate surely was better than having friends who screw around behind your back. At least to me. I just don't think Emma felt the same.


	17. Chapter 17

To be honest, no I wasn't a very physical person. I wasn't athetic and literally tripped over air. But running, rather jogging around the football field was actually theraputic. It helped clear my mind. So much so, I almost forgot why I was so upset in the first place. Almost. When I saw Kendall running up ahead of me, with a few guys from our gym class, it made me want to throw up. Or maybe hit him. I was worried if I got close enough to him, I wouldn't be able to stop either one. So being this new awesome confident girl I was turning into, i decided to run faster, and run past him. I was in my gym shorts, showing off my legs knowign how much he loved them. As I approached the guys I heard one laugh and put on my strong face. I ran outside thier small line and rushed past them gritting my teeth. "Hate to see you leave. Love to watch you go!" I rolled my eyes hearing a guy I didn't really know and kept running. I told my head to not turn around and look but it was too late. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Kendall slowing down, also in his running shorts and plain black hoodie. He looked sad, and tired but I didn't care.

"Emma! Look out!" I turned my head quick hearing Carlos's voice from up ahead of me but it was too late. My foot slipped into a hole in the ground and i tripped. Hard. My head smacked into the grass on the field and my stomach landed on top of what i had to assume was a sprinkler. As i fell i must have also twisted my foot that fell in the hole because it was already burning. "Dude!" I pulled my foot out of the hole groaning quietly and rolled onto my back seeing Carlos and a hand full of other people standing over me. Carlos knelt down next to me and raised my left foot looking at it. "Already swollen. You think you can walk on it?" I groaned again hoding aroudn my stomach trying to sit up, but failing. "I'll take you to the nurse." Before i could object, because it was embarrassing, Carlos had scooped me up and was walking the long walk to the school. "If coach comes out, just tell him what happened." I shamelessly wrapped my arms around Carlos's neck and put my face in it, closing my eyes. My head, stomach and foot were screaming in pain, but the worst part for me, was seeing all the kids around looking at me. And then to hear his voice.

"Emma are you alright?" I groanned turning my head deeper into Carlos's skin making him pull me tighter into him.

"Dude i wouldn't bark up at this tree right now. Or any time soon."

"I just want to talk Emma. I want to explain things." I snapped my head up fast and looked at Kendall waking slowy behind us looking sad again.

"Everything Logan said...is it true?"

"Yes." I laughed lookign at the side of Carlos's face, watching him shake his head. "But..."

"There is nothing else to say Kendall. I trusted you...I told you i loved you. And you didn't care. All you wanted to do was get in my pants. And lucky for me, you'll never have the chance." I set a hand on my forehead feeling it start to pound.

"Okay...yes at first, i wanted to sleep with you. But when your parents died..." I put my face in Carlos's neck again and squeezed around him.

"Dude i'd shut up real quick." There was silence, all the way up untill we finally got close to the school building, and the bell rang. Kids started filing out of the building and as we got closer, alot of them gave us weird looks. But as Kendall held a door open for Carlos, i started to not care as much that i was being carried. I was just grateful I had a good friend like Carlos who would take care of me.

As we were about to walk in the main office i heard a panicked voice from behind, and it made Carlos turn quick. When he did i saw Logan shoving past people hurrying to us. "What happened?" I rolled my eyes turning to Carlos who sighed gently raising me a little.

"Grace fell from charm school." I put my head back gently tugging on the hair on the back of his head making him chuckle. "Let me get her in the nurses office and i'll wak to the gym with you guys." He spun quick and waked me into the office. He gently pushed open the nurses door clearing his throat. The nurse stood up fast and looked me over shaking her head.

"Gym Emma?"

"Fell in a hole. Her forehead is all swollen and so is her ankle. I think she twisted it." The nurse nodded and walked Carlos over to the bed. As he laid me down I blushed seeing him smirking down at me. "I'll make sure James gets your bag and stuff." I nodded and he started to pull away standing up. I quicky threw my arms back around his neck and pulled him down to a hug.

"Thank you Los." He laughed nodding against my head and stood up quick, leaving the office, closing the door. I closed my eyes, breathing out hard and heard her open a cabinet. This was going to be hell.

By the time i waked out of the nurses office, on crutches, school was over. I was still in gym clothes and was exhausted. Because of my head hitting the ground so hard, the nurse called Matt who gave her permission to let James take me home and also suggested he keep me home from school the next couple days. That sucked, cause i lived for it, but was kind of grateful. And as i hobbeed out into the main office smiling off worried looks from teachers and parents, i couldn't help but burst with happiness. Sitting by the front door of the school was James. He looked worried, but when he finally saw me, he smirked. I shook my head stopping in front of him as he stood up. "Carlos still hasn't stopped laughing." I frowned at him looking down my body. "Come on...i promised you lunch after school. And then we have to go to the store cause you're brother asked me to get some Advil for you." I nodded letting him put a hand on my back as i slowy walked out of the school. I frowned seeing his truck parked right up front and ganced to him. "They let me park here to pick you up." I nodded and was grateful to stop walking. My head was swimming and my foot was on fire. The nurse assured me it wasn't broken but thats not what it felt like. Of course i wouldn't know because i don't ever get hurt but it still hurt to me. "Jump on up." The crutches were taken from under my arms as he opened my door. I thought he was literally asking me to jump in his truck but his hands on my waist debunked that theory. I was turned and quickly lifted on the seat. I smiled big at him as he let his hands linger on my hips. I wanted so despretly to reach out and kiss him but moved past the urge. I tucked my legs into the truck and let him shut the door. As soon as he did i watched him put the crutches in the truck bed and hurry to the driver door. When he got in and started the truck i put on my seatbelt and sat back a little watching kids waking by staring at us. When James finally pulled away, i reached out quick and turned up the voume on his stereo letting some screamo song fill the cab of the truck. I nodded along and without looking, i reached out, grabbing his hand. I saw him glance to me from the corner of my eye but kept looking forward. I placed our hands in the middle of the seat and started bouncing my unhurt leg to the music. "I don't know why but...i really missed you today." I laughed laying my head back turning it to him. He pulled out of the school parking lot and pulled into a long line of traffic.

"DId Carlos tell you Kendall tried to talk to me?"

"Yeah...do i have your premission yet to kick his ass?" I smirked and raised his hand kissing the top. "Logan and i were texting all day. He told me he geniuenly believes Kendall fell in love with you. He thinks Kendall was true and genuine with his feelings after your parents died." He said it completly mono tone which lead me to believe he thought the same. "Kendall actually loved you." It was quiet but loud enough for me to pull my hand out of his. "Do you love him?"

"Are you joking?" He shrugged stepping on the gas and we drove down the street slowly. "Do you even realize what it's like to be talked about the way Kendall and Logan do? DO you have any idea what my head tells me everytime i look in the mirror? That i'm nothing more than a piece of meat. That all i'm good for is being arm candy? Do you know what that does to a person?" He sighed quiety merging onto the freeway and i shook my head. "Do i love Kendall? No. I thought i did but but i heard what he was actually trying to do with me...to me...it ended. I have no feelings for him. Except maybe disgust." I sat back huffing and looked straight ahead. "And i think there is a more important question you need to be asking me James."

"What's that?" I snapped my head to him and he chucked quiety. "Do you love me Emma?"

"With every ounce of blood in my body James." He swallowed hard and surprising to me he quickly drove across the lanes taking the exit he just barely missed. When he drove through the yellow light and speed down the street, going to a rather empty parking lot, i started to get worried. He wasn't saying anything and he wasn't looking at me. And when he parked behind an od empty buiding, sort of behind a tall wall with two huge trees hanging over the truck i swallowed hard. He turned to me and shook his head raising his hand. He brushed hair out of my face and gently ran his thumb over the bump in the middle of my forehead. I closed my eyes at his touch just as he took off his seatbelt.

"I'm sorry. About Logan, and Kendall. And i'm sorry you feel like your ony good as arm candy. If i have to bend over backwards to change that I will." I opened my eyes and quiety took off my seatbelt. "All i've ever done in my life is worry...care about you. All i've ever wanted in my life is to hear you say you love me and you felt the same. But right now all i can think about is what if i'm stepping in at the wrong time?" I pulled away from his hand and shook my head getting angry.

"How about you let me decide that? When woudl be a good time for you to step in James? When the next guy takes it to far and forces himself on me? Or hits me? When do you think us is the right time? Because if you're just going to sit there and tell me..." I was cut off by lips on mine and it shut me up quick. Although i wasn't a fan of being silenced like this, i couldn't hate it too much. James was such a good kisser i didn't care he shut me up. Within our kiss i could feel him pull himself towards me which made me move towards him too. I don't know how he managed but he got me on my back and was leaning over me attacking my mouth with fire. I was begging, with my hands for him to take off his shirt, which he never did. Instead he trapped my arms over my head and sloppily trailed the kisses down my face and on my neck. I locked our fingers together and shut my eyes sighing out softly. "DOn't we have somewhere to be?" He sat up slowly looking donw at me and smirked. "I love you James. DOn't let Logan or Kenda get in your head. I don't care what they say. You are who i want." He sat up pulling me with him and glared down at me as he set a hand on my throat, holding gently. I put my hands on his ribs and rubbed gently.

"Then can i ask you something?" I nodded and he bent back down putting his lips over mine. "Can we tell everyone?"


	18. Chapter 18

**James's P.O.V.**

Sometimes, I think she does half the shit she does because she knows it gets me going. Not because she's cruel. But because she loves me? I guess. I don't know. Maybe she doesn't know she's casuing my whole existance to crumble by her prescense. I would feel better with that thought. "James...will you turn the music up?" I continued to look at the back of her body as she leaned against the stove in my parents house her hurt foot resting on her other. She was standing next to Carlos as they messed around with the punch bowl in front of them. They were making some extremely sugary, boozey punch which worried me. Emma may not hve to go to school for a couple of days, but Carlos did. And so did I. We couldnt call out because of football. But I let them do there magic, and turned up the volume on the song playing throughout my house. I cringed hearing a slew of profanities echo through and waited for Emma to say something. But she simply giggeled at something Carlos was telling her, and when she finally turned to me, hobbeling on her cruthces, I couldn't help but smile big at her.

She wasn't wearing a real costume, however, she was in a pair of high waisted back skinny jeans and a red and white polka dot tanktop. There was a red satin ribbon tied around her waist for her belt and she had her yellow slip on vans on. Well one of them. To top it off she was wearing a headband with two mouse ears, and a red bow in the middle. She was Minnie Mouse. And as she sat down next to me huffing quietly I could smell her pretty vanilla perfume. I was head over heels in love. "So..." Carlos sat down across from me and gently pushed a red solo cup to me grinning big. "Logan's coming over soon. He'll be the first one. You gonna tell him right away?" I sighed out turning my head to Emma who quickly leaned in, sneakiy, putting a hand on my thigh dipping it down dangerousy close to my dick. I tensed up, knowing my cheeks were blushing and turned my attention back to the pumpkin I was trying to carve.

"I think so. I think tough guy is going to have to do it though."

"Chicken." I said it quiety getting a hard squeeze to my junk and a kiss to my cheek.

"Can i just say how cute you two are? And like...why did it take this long?" I glared at Carlos picking up my black sharpie careuflly drawing out my pumpkins face with it. "DO you know what Emma told me dude? You know that Ariana Grande song? Side to side? She said she's gonna be that way with you now." I frowned looking to see Emma skillfully craving into her smaller pumpkin with prescion and a sexy little smile tugging at her mouth.

"So you got mad at me for telling him but you can go into detail about how i made you have to wak side to side?" Emma chuckled throwing her head back and i shook my head looking ot Carlos who instead of carving his pumpkin, was texting. "I'm just glad she got to experiance that, instead of that little dick Logan has."

"Excuse me?" The blood froze in my body as I turned my head to see Matt standing in the entryway of the dining room we were sitting in. Emma stood up fast hodling on the table as I seriously considered stabbing myself in the face with my knife in my hand. "James...I got the rest of the stuff in my truck. Come help me." I stood up and we locked eyes. "Leave the knife." Matt turned quick and Emma put a hand on my arm but I pulled away and followed through my clean empty house after Matt.

I waked along the length of his truck and stopped at the back where he was. He was leaning into the bed of his truck reaching for a case of beer and a 12 pack of soda. I swallowed hard and also reached in grabbing a few paper bags full of snacks and random things for our little make shift party we were about to have. "Are you dating my little sister James?" I froze, hands on bags and looked down at the bed of his truck. It was starting to rain, which was probably good. Just so it could wash my blood away when he kills me. "Because I got to tell you buddy..." My back was slapped a little roughy before he pulled me back and made me look at him. His face was completly blank. "I can't think of anyone better but you to be with her." A hard breath left my mouth and he grinned patting my shoulder looking up at the sky blinking rain drops away. "Althought...i don't need to hear about your sexcapades...there has been no other guy, besides me or my dad that have cared about her as much as you do. You listen to her, you let her be herself aorund you. Honestly, I couldnt be happier. For her and you."

"Are you serious?" He laughed and turned crossing his arms over his chest leaning against his open truck bed. "Matt...we were going to tell you. She just...she's worried about Mandy and Logan finding out."

"You aren't?" I shrugged softly also leaning against his truck bed door and put my hands in my pockets shivering slighty. I was only in a white v-neck shirt and plain blue jeans. Something Emma said she loved seeing on me. "You're still hurt by them?"

"Yes and no. I think I got over it rather quickly with Mandy. I just figured...if she loved me she wouldn't have done it. But with Logan..."I paused and again shrugged not knowing what else to say.

"It sucks when your buddy hurts you. I know us guys aren't allowed to have feelings. And if we do, we can't show them. But when your best friend...when a guy you call your brother hurts you, it's okay to show it. Especially to him." I glanced up to Matt and for the first time i noticed how helathy he was starting to look. SInce the accident he's been on crutches, groaning and grunting. But now he looked semi normal again. "Logan is a stupid fuck. He broke my little sisters trust. But...he's also just a kid. And the shit he did with Mandy, although i'm not condoning it...I get it. Imagine if you lost Emma like that? Would you be abe to make smart choices?" I swallowed hard and just as he bumped into me, i noticed what he was trying to show me. Driving up the driveway to my house was Logan's two door Benz. I pulled my hands out of my pockets and turned to the truck reaching out to grab groceries. "Do me a favor. Talk with him out here for a minute. Get that shit off your chest and maybe let him talk. I know you're a good enough man. I mean...your dating my sister." He nudged me gently grabbing the cases of beer and soda and walked away. I heard an engine get cut and tensed up turning to face him. He got out of his car, hood over his head, a bottle of water in one hand and his back pack in the other. He walked to me slowly hitting his lock button on his key and stopped in front of me tossing his back pack over his shoulder.

"Hey man. You doing okay?" I smirked and looked up at the sky remembering Emma saying she wanted me to tell Logan about us. Perfect time.

"Emma and I are dating." I looked down quick and saw his mouth part open slowly. "I love her Logan. I have since we were in 6th grade. She means the absolute world to me and i'm not going to loose her. If you have any kind of problem with it..."

"Wait." He put up a hand and i opened my mouth to say something but he shook his head. "So this guilt trip you gave Mandy..." I laughed quietly and shurgged making him sigh. "So i can get a little wasted with Mandy tonight and make out with her and you wont loose your shit?" I frowned and glared down at him.

"You don't care Emma and I..."

"Dude wasn't it you who said I had to move on? That she hates my guts? Why get upset over soemthing I have no control over?" I sat back on the truck again and he readjusted his back pack on his hsoulder. "You know I never wanted to hurt her. Just like I never wanted to ruin this." He motioned between the two of us and cleared his throat looking down at the gorund. "But I understand you're pissed so..." He started to walk past me and on instinct i reached out grabbing his arm. I closed my eyes hard and pulled him into an at first, awkward hug. But when he realized I wasn't going to hit him his arms raised around me and we hugged, squeezing each other hard before pulling away.

"You're my brother Logan. And if you think about it...you fucking around with Mandy was a blessing. For both of us." He smriked and saluted me.

"Any time dude." I gently shoved him and turned back to the truck grabbing some bags. "Are we preparing for the appocolapse?"

"I don't know." He reached in too and grabbed some bags as I walked along side him. "Once Mandy finds out about Emma and I, we might witness world war three." All he did was laugh as he shut Matt's truck and went to the house with me.

When we got back in the house i wasn't surprised to hear the giggels of Emma and the deep laughs from Matt and Carlos. As i walked past them, all huddeled around one of thier phones looking at something there was a loud thunder clap from overhead making me jump slightly. I set the bags on the counter and turned to see Matt looking between Logan and I. I smiled and walked past Logan who was also putting bags on the counter and clapped his shoulder gently nodding to Matt who simply smiled. "So...Carlos and I are going to start making some food...you guys finish up the pumpkins and then well set up kings cup because Emma really wants to play." I nodded walking right to her as she stood herself up on her crutches. I smiled big slipping my hands around her waist pulling her to me. As i bent down however, she gently pushed me back and turned her head away. I followed her line of vision and saw Logan looking at us, smiling small. He laughed and set his back pack on the table opening his water bottle.

"Don't worry Em's. James aready told me. Make out freely." I turned back to her and watched her cheeks turn red before she looked up to me. "Matt what can I do to help?" Matt pulled off his sweater and threw it to a chair sighing out walking to Logan getting right in his face. Emma sighed laying on me, genetly pressing her lips on my open neck.

"For starters..." We all tensed up not knowing where this was going to go and Logan swallowed hard. "You can change this shitty ass music Carlos put on and then help me with the nachos." Logan nodded laughing and pulled his phone out of his sweater pocket dodging a hit from Carlos who mumbeled something to Matt in Spanish. For a minute everything seemed normal. No one was pissed off at each other...everyone was laughing. Emma and I were sitting back at the table carving our pumpkins while the other three worked around the kitchen. I was starting to feel good again.

And then everything changed.


	19. Chapter 19

**Emma's P.O.V.**

Everyone was either looking at Mandy, who I could tell was drunk, or the girl hanging off her arm. Also drunk. Mandy and Camille were arm and arm, both in slutty revealing costumes. Mandy, back in her police unifrom from the other night, and Camille in a slutty nun costume. Really classy. I glanced to James who was standing next to me at the table, staring at them like they were peices of meat. As i glanced around to the other three, I wasn't surprised to see them all staring, practicually drooling. "Hope we haven't missed the party guys." Mandy peeled away from Camille and walked right to James and I. Mandy smiled big at James as she passed him and walked right to the chair next to me. As soon as she sat down i could smell alcohol. I gently grabbed her arm and made her look in my eyes. She was compeltly smashed. And she looked proud of it. "Can I help carve your pumpkin? Or is that why James is with you?" I swallowed hard and looked back at the table shaking my head. "Camille...come. Sit with us girls. We'll talk about all the dudes we've fucked in this room. How about I go first?" Camille squealed walking over to Mandy and pulled a chair up beside her. "Well we all know James has been up inside here. He couldn't wait to tell anyone that great news." I looked up to see James glaring down at Mandy.

"Mandy how much have you had to drink tonight?" I looked to my brother who was staring donw at us girls arms crossed over his chest.

"Well why don't I answer that by asking Camille how many dicks in this room, have been in or around her?" We all looked to Camille and I felt like throwing up. If she said Logan, I think I might actually loose it.

"Well..." Camille who I hadn't noticed it until now was sucking on a lollipop. As if to say, yup, i'm a giant whore. She sucked on the lollipop pulling it out with a loud pop and grinned big over to me. "The last name is Matthews, and we all know I hate Emma so it must be..." She raised her eyebrows over to Matt and I quickly stood up. Matt's arms fell down at his sides and he looked to Camille before turning to me.

"Matt! She's underage!"

"Not anymore baby cakes. And it was...how many nights ago Matt baby? When you told your sister you were out with Maddison?" I grabbed ahold of the table in front of me and quickly looked to James. He shook his head putting a hand on my back gently walking around me. He almost roughly grabbed a hold of Mandy and picked her up out of her chair. She giggeled grabbing a hold of him and let him lead her out of the dinning room, leaving us all quiet. Except for Camille. "Honestly, I'm just as surprised i've only had 1 out of the 4 dicks here."I rolled my eyes sitting down and watched Logan walk towards us, sitting donw in James's chair fast.

"Does Mandy know about you and him yet?" His soft whisper made me shiver and I pulled away shaking my head. He breathed out hard and sat back looking straight ahead at Matt.

"Sorry Logan. You're going to have to speak up. Not everyone heard you."

"Shut the fuck up Camille." I smirked at Carlos as he sat down across from Logan and I and jumped slightly hearing James's booming voice.

"Mandy! Wait!" We all turned to the room entrance to watch Mandy stumble in and point an accusing finger at me.

"You little bitch!" I stood up quick and so did Logan putting up his hands between us as Mandy approached me. "You couldn't wait! You could not wait to get to him. After all the tears i've cried over him...after all the late nigth calls you and I had because i confided in you to let you know I loved him! And what did you do, hours after Kendall did absouletly nothing wrong? You jump in bed with my boyfriend. The love of my life! How coudl you do that to me?" I opened my mouth but no words came out. "You are so good at this persona Emma. You have every single person wrapped around your finger. You make everyone around you think that you are this perfect innocent little girl! But I bet no one...including your than boyfriend at the time knew you got to third base with that guy in Matt's class...you remember him right? We were freshman and you said one fo Matt's football friends fingered you under the bleachers as you waited for your brother to take you home?" I slowly sat down and saw Logan staring down at me. I couldn't look at him. I honestly coudln't look at anyone. Including Mandy who just kept going. "What about just this last summer when you went to my parents summer house with us, and hooked up with that cute neghbor of mine? Does Logan know about that? Or did you not tell him when you dumped him for going to far?" I closed my eyes feeling tears fall out only egging her on more. "Here she goes everyone! Someone hurry! Catch her tears! I'm sure it will be you James! And let me guess...all those times you said you love me, you were wishing it was her?!"

"Mandy I have always loved you!" For some reason I looked up. James was holding Mandy who was also crying now. "You were my first true love! You were my everything! I'll never stop loving you!" I quickly wiped my face and looked down at my hands on my lap.

"Yeah? And what about Emma? Because for as logn as we've dated all your concern has only been Emma!" I bit my bottom lip fighting the urge to sob out as Logan sat down next to me.

"You hurt me Mandy...I felt lost." His voice, as itself sounded sad and pained, it had nothing on my heart. I glanced up and saw, with absolute horror, James reach up and wipe away Mandy's tears. She cried quietly and leaned into him gripping on his shirt in the back.

"I tried to say sorry James...you woudln't listen." I slowly stood myself up and grabbed my crutches walking around, behind Logan who moved his chair out of the way for me. As i started to walk towards where Mandy and James were, he looked up at me.

"Emma...I'm..." He paused and let Mandy fall on his chest crying out still. "I'm sorry Emma. I still love her." I cried out quietly and tried to run out of the house, but my crutches kept me slow. And i slowed down completly seeing Kendall walking towards me a huge bag of candy in one hand and a water bottle in the other. He looked...normal. But he also looked like he hadn't been sleeping like everyone kept telling me.

"Are you alright?" I cried out again but didn't need to answer. I felt my brother, smelling his cologne first, wrap around me and pick me up. My crutches managed to get put under his arm and he walked us both out of the house quickly.

I didn't know the human body had as much tears as I cried out. It's hard enough to have your best friend tell your deepest secrets to a room full of friends (and Camille). But to know I lost two guys, one being my ultimate best friend, in a matter of days, made my tears warnted. I didn't go to school for the next whole week. Beside my foot being messed up and my head and heart being fucked up, i wasn't getting alot of sleep. I felt like the worlds biggest scumbag. And it was verified when no one...not one person came to check up on me. Not even Carlos, who i figured would at least care a little. I didn't recieve any phone calls or texts...nothing. James didnt even come to try to sneak in my room like he usually did. According to my close group of friends, I didn't matter any more.

My brother, who I had a serious conversation about the Camille thing, was my only friend. He let me sleep on the couch with my head on his leg most nights. He didn't yell at me for the things Mandy said. And not once did he judge me for my choices. He let me cry, he even let me have a few beers with him. And as grateful as I was for his support, I hated him the following Monday morning when he woke me up. He told me I had to go back eventually and if I did it fast like a bandaid, it wouldn't be so bad. So I got myself ready for school. I wore a palin black polo shirt with the school emblem on it, and black jeans. I didn't take my crutches because I just wanted to blend in. As I walked out the door, Matt gave me 20 bucks for lunch and wished me luck, reminding me I was my fathers daughter and not afraid. That helped immensily.

When I pulled into the school parkign lot, i frowned seeing Logan and Carlos. They, of course had to be the first people I saw. I parked kind of far away from them and pulled a beanie on my head sliding out of my truck. As I walked aroudn the back I cringed seeing Kendall's Jeep but kept walking. Well, tried. "Em's." I looked up feeling my heart rate speed up seeing Logan and Carlos walkign towards me. They were both bundeled up, just like I was, but both smiling. "Man...it's good to see you. I've been waiting patiently to at least hear you." I frowned at Logan who smiled and nodded to my truck. "Your brakes sound like crap. You need to get them fixed before we get snow." I raised my eyebrows, making them both laugh. Carlos wrapped an arm around my shoulders and started to walk me up to the school, slowly.

"Wait." I pulled away from him and glanced between the two, feeling tears on the verge of spilling. "Last week...Mandy said..." Logan sighed out looking around and i frowned. "I just figured you guys hated me, since no one..." I stopped and shrugged. "Forget it. I gotta go to class."

"Wait, wait, wait Emma." Carlos was in front of me hands on my biceps. "No one hates you. Especailly Logan and I." I rolled my eyes at him and he laughed. "I called you last Monday after eveything. Except Matt answered. He gave me very detailed directions to give you space. Let you clear your head. I passed it along to everyone else with the warning if we didnt listen, Matt would murder us. We wanted to be there for you. But...Matt figured it was better you had time to breath." I swallowed hard and turned to Logan who was giving me a sad smile.

"It sucked to hear all that shit Mandy said. But..." He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck shurgging. "I've started to move on from you. Move on from your lips and you body and the cute way..."

"Dude." Carlos slapped his chest and they both laughed.

"My point is...we..."He pointed between the two of us and set a hand on my shoulder. "Are not right for each other. I'm man enough to admit that. I also can admit that what I did to you, even if i had know about what you did, is not a good excuse to act like an asshole." I lunged forward quick and hugged him tight, putting my face in his chest. He wrapped around me tight and slowly rocked us. "I'm so sorry. About everything. But mostly about Mandy. She is...she's..."

"She's still acting like a bitch." I pulled away fast and slapped at Carlos who tried to avoid the smack. "What? She is! She's got James on lock down dude. For the past week the only time we see him is when she lets him. It's fucking pathetic." I frowned and slowly started to walk, both of them on either side. "It's been kind of weird...for the longest time, it's been all 5 of us. And since you were gone and James has a short leesh, it's just be Logan and I. Oh and Kendall." I turned to Carlos who smirked nodding at me putting his hands in his pockets. "I should warn you. He was pretty pissed you and James fucked..."

"Word choice Carlos, please." I gave a sorry smile to Logan who only brushed me off saying hi to kids walking past us.

"Anyway...he was upset but...he is still crazy in love with you." I sighed pulling my back pack up on my shoulder. "I know he's going to want to talk to you today. In fact..." Carlos pulled the door open for me and i was gently pushed inside. I stopped moving quick seeing Kendall leaning against the corner of my locker, one hand in his pants pockets, while the other held a book. I tried to turn away but Carlos gently linked an arm with mine and started to pull me. "What are we reading today nerd?"

"Fuck off." Logan and Carlos smirked, but Kendall remained looking down.

"Now is that anyway to speak in front of a lady?" Kendall snapped his head up fast and shut the book even faster. We locked eyes and I swallowed hard. "Carlos and I have to go to class...but you two should stay here and...talk." I looked down quick and heard movement around me. "Or stand in front of each other awkwardly. Your call. Come on Los." I looked up with one last desperate look to my friends, who simply ignored me. I chewed on the inside on my cheek as i looked back to Kendall who was smiling small. I walked to my locker and opened it up blocking my face from his. I hated, absolutely hated how good he looked. He was wearing a beanie, showing onyl a little bit of blonde hair from underneath. His green eyes were glistening, and his nose was red. He was wearing a Slipknot sweater over his uniform and had black skinny jeans on. But no matter what he looked like at this current time, something was holding me back. From talking, from looking and being around him. I still had this thought in the back of my head that I was a scumbag, and didn't deserve any happiness. So, I quickly switched out books and grabbed extra pens. I shut and locked my locker quick turning on my heels, not looking back at him once.


	20. Chapter 20

**Kendall's P.O.V.**

"So...if you two aren't here to have your car checked out, and your not here to purchase anything from me...why are you here?" I glanced up from my seat behind the front counter of my dads store and smiled watching my two very good friends walk in. Logan was smiling up at my dad while Carlos was almost rushing to me taking off a beanie from his head. "You know he's working right now, right?" I slowly closed my history book and glanced between my two friends who stopped at the counter and laughed.

"Come one Mr. Knight. It's homecoming today and Kendall promised he'd watch the game." I looked to my dad as he walked behind the counter and quickly started typing on his computer. My dad smelt like oil and sweat, and when I saw his face, I saw just how tired he looked. And how old he was getting. Not seeing him for 10 plus years changes your outlook, and messes up your memory of what he used to look like. Who he used to be. "Besides...the homecoming dance is tonight and Carlos is insisting we wear something nice so..." I looked over to Carlos who was twirling a little hanging display of tiny liscnecs plates with names on them.

"Alright...you can go hang out with the guys. It's going to be slow today anyway." I turned in my stool and gave my dad a blank face. He laughed and tapped my shoulder asking me to vacate my seat. "Kendall you're a kid. You should be acting like a hooligan and going out with your friends. Trust me. I'll be fine here." I opened my mouth to argue with him that I wasn't really worried he couldn't handle it. More that I didn't feel like doing anything. Especially knowing Emma would probably be there with Matt, because Carlos begged on hands and knees for her to go. The whole week, she's avoided me. She won't look at me and she won't talk to me. No matter the fact we sit at lunch together, with Carlos and Logan. She was acting like I didn't exist. She was acting like she was still mad at me, even though I wasn't the one who fucked my best friend. "And here's my next appoitment! How you doing Matt?" My whole body froze hearing the dinging of the door overhead and swallowed hard hearing someone, probably Carlos and Logan shake hands with Matt. But if Matt was here..."Emma my dear you look frozen." I slowly turned in my seat and stood up fast seeing Matt pulling his wallet out of his back pocket of his jeans with his short, cold looking sister behind him. I tossed my black pen on the counter in front of me and looked her right in the eyes. She was wearing her glasses, and a cute crochet beanie on her head. She had a dark red jacket on, that I could see went donw to her knees. Other than that I couldn't see anything else excpet her red nose, and rosey cheeks. And those perfect lips I wanted to kiss again.

"Well I guess that's why were here. My heater won't work in my truck." My dad clapped my back as Emma pulled her hands out of her pockets and pulled her eyes away from me. "Logan also harrassed me all week to get my brakes looked at."

"They sound like shit." My dad sighed and Matt quickly shoved Logan at his foul language. Logan smirked and sighed out turning to me. "So you gonna come clothes shopping with us for about an hour before the game? I'll let you sit in my warm car before the game starts?" I turned away from Logan fast seeing Emma push Carlos away who was whispering in her ear. She glanced up to Matt who shook his head and looked to my dad.

"Do you mind if I watch you fix her truck. Just incase something happens...you know my dad was a car freak. He could destroy and rebuild a car in a day, but I never cared to learn." My dad quickly nodded and walked around the counter going to Matt. Matt simply kissed his sisters cheek and started wlaking away with my dad. As soon as they disappeared inot the 6 car garage type building I snapped my head to Emma who was, not surprising looking at anywhere but at me.

"Okay. So were going to the Mall. Carlos is complaing his hungry so were gonna get lunch too." Logan nodded to the door looking at me and I shook my head slipping my homework i was legetimetly trying to do, in my back pack. I slung it over my shoulder grabbing my black coat and walked around the counter following Logan close. I heard Carlos and Emma talking quietly and when we walked into the crisp air I held the door open for them and gave a pathetic smile at Emma, who again, ignored me.

I climbed into the back of Logan's already warm car and tossed my backpack on the floor putting on my seatbelt. I wasn't surprised to see Carlos letting Emma get in the front and sighed as soon as her door shut. Carlos climbed in beside me and shivered sitting back pulling his phone out. "And to answer your last text Emma, James and Mandy aren't going to be at the dance. Mandy's throwing a party at her house. James invited us...but just us. I mean Logan and I. She made it perfectly clear you two weren't invited." I smriked knowing exactly why. When Emma left James's house last Monday I had a few choice words for Mandy who cried and yelled at me, but I didn't care. "So I thought the four of us could go to the dance together, since it's almost our last one and afterwards we can watch movies at my house...build forts and shit like we used to." I chuckled making Carlos look at me who also laughed and nudged me.

"James hasn't said one word to me still." I glanced to Emma who was looking donw at Logan's phone which was attached to a white cord on the dash, trying to pick a song to listen to. "And yesterday, because I always read in the library during 6th, Mandy came in with Camille and they sat like 4 tables from me, laughing and talking as loud as they fucking could. It's like...my whole life i've known James, and Mandy has been my best girlfriend and suddenly...nothing." She sounded so hurt all I wanted to do was reach out and hold her. But I didn't. However I did find my balls and decided to speak up.

"I don't think anyone excepted anything diffrent from Mandy. But James..." She looked back at me over her shoulder and I gave a small smile. "If your friendship meant something to him, he'd fight for it." She luaghed and looked forwad letting a soft pop song fill the car and I shurgged. "People make mistakes. Good people make mistakes." Again she looked back at me and i swallowed hard. "But better people forgive those mistakes." She looked away quick out her window and turned up the volume on the stereo.

The mall was packed, even for a Satruday. We all hurried to the entrance, grabbing onto each other so we wouldn't slip on ice and breathed out hard as soon as we were in the warmth. I kept my hands in the pockets of my leather jacket and watched, compeltly helplessly as Emma bounced along Logan who was telling her he'd buy her a Strabucks. She looked so fucking cute, it was almost painful. And it got worse when we got in line at Starbucks and she shimmied out of her coat handing it to Logan to hold. She was wearing a long sleeved red shirt that cut rather low in the front showing off cleavage. She had a brown little purse wraped around her, hanging off her hip. And I know I wasn't the only one lookign at her chest because when she asked Logan to get her a hot pumpkin spiced latte, Carlos was looking right at her tits. She said she was going to pick up her dress, hoping they still had it in her size and that she'd be right back. She turned and weaved through the long line, disappearing from my sight. I sighed out hard and put my head back closing my eyes. "That's fucking painful isn't it?" I casually flipped Logan off who laughed and pushed me along. "I know...she has been pretty icy to you Kendall, but you have to understand her brain is telling her she doesn't deserve you. And she's also convinced she's just going to get her heart broken again so..."

"I didn't do anything, remember Logan?" I glanced donw to him and he shrugged looking to Carlos for help. Carlos simply sighed and stepped closer to us.

"Do you remember when her parents died?" I nodded, Logan doing the same. "Do you remember how you simply were there? That you didn't need to say anything to her, at all, to let her know you were there? That whatever she needed, you would do, no questions asked?" I nodded again and he grinned patting my cheek. "Do that. Don't ask for anything. Don't expect an apology from her and don't give her one. Just...be there."

"What the fuck does that mean Los?" Carlos kept smiling at me but turned to Logan shoving him away. As they aruged about who was ordering first it hit me. I knew exactly what i was supposed to do.

We all sat outside the Starbucks, talking quietly, eating the little snakcs we got. I watched and waited patiently for her to return, and when I finally saw her walking towards us, a long dress bag in her arms and another bag over her shoulder i felt my knees shake with anticipation. She smiled at us and quickly took the seat next to me taking a small sip of her latte. I opened my mouth but closed it quick seeing Logan and Carlos staring at me. I nodded them away both of them laughing shaking thier heads. I shook mine back and turned to her clearing my throat.

"Emma?" She looked up to me eyebrows raised and I smiled small. "Do you wanna go to the dance with me tonight?" Her eyebrows lowered and she carefully set her latte on the table in front of her. My smile fell and I shurgged. "I know...were all going but...I want to go with you." She looked over at our friends before looking back at me and a very tiny smile crept on her face.

"I..." She paused and looked back over to Logan and Carlos who i saw in the corner of my eye nod. I hid my laughter as she turned back to me and sighed out. "I would like that Kendall." My heart dropped into the pit of my toes and she turned back to the small cookie Logan gave her as she sat down. She tucked some hair behind her ear and nibbeled at the cookie, her rosey cheeks now turning even rosier. I smiled in the corner of my mouth looking up at Carlos who gave me a quick thumbs up, winking.

I, being the perfect gentelman, carried her dress and shoes around for her while the three of us looked for clothes for the dance. I was surprised to see her walking next to me and even helped me pick out a new dress shirt and a nice tie. I wasn't doing a suit, but I was going to do my damndest to look good. At least for her. When we got everything we needed, and Carlos and Logan said they had to go to the school for pre game stuff, we all pilled back in his car, this time Emma and I sitting with each other in the back. She was alot more talkative and laughing just a little louder. She was finally acting like herself again.

When we finally got to the school Logan said we could sit in it until the game started and the two of them left in a hurry. I took off my seatbelt and turned slightly to her. She was already staring at me. I smiled at her and she smiled back taking off her seatbelt. SHe pulled her legs up to her chest and held around them looking out the window at the many cars starting to pull into the parking lot. "So..." I tensed up hearing her soft voice and she sighed out quietly. "Carlos told me...you stood up for me when Mandy kept laying into me after I left." I nodded slowly and she reached out putting a hand on mine. "Thank you." Her hand was gone and she was back to holding around her legs. "I know I haven't been very friendly as of late but..."

"It's alright Emma. You don't need to explain anything." She sat back a little and looked at me. "I know...everything Logan said to you about me, is true and I'm sorry." She looked down and sniffeled a little crossing her feet over each other. "But as we started to date...and I saw you for who you really are I don't know. Something changed. I fell in love with you." She glanced back up to my face and I took a cautious chance and scooted closer to her. She didn't even seemed fazed. "I'm still in love with you Emma. And I think you could do alot more horrible things to me and I still would be." She shook her head looking at the seat in front of her and I slowly set a hand on her face. Her eyes closed and i rubbed under one while my other hand set on her knee.

"I'm sorry Kendall. For everything." It was quiet and so sad sounding, which made me move forward fast. I leaned forward and kissed her lips softly. Her hands were on my face and she started to lower her legs letting me get even closer. As much as I wanted to make out with her for the rest of the day, we pulled away fast, hearing three sharp knocks to the window behind her head. I jumped off her and looked out seeing my dad and Matt standing outside the car talking, laughing, quietly. I sighed looking at her as she laughed and opened the door stepping out. I handed her, her coat and reached forward turning off Logan's car and pocketing his keys. As i followed her out of the car, my dad was giving me an alomst too happy look, but hid it from Matt and Emma. As I shut the door and locked his car I followed behind Emma and Matt walking with my dad and thanked the Lord Logan and Carlos were my friends because I knew they had something to do with this.


	21. Chapter 21

**Emma's P.O.V.**

For the first time in a long time, watching one of our football games, I actually paid attention. Well I paid attention to two specific players on the feild. Logan, our star quartback was in the middle of a huddle, and he was yelling. Logan was always had intese passion for the game and I admired that about him. I don't think he was yelling because he was mad. We were up by two touchdowns with one quarter left, but he still had that passion. And standing beside him, hands on his sides, breathing heavily from what I could see, was Carlos. Carlos was one of the fastest people on the team and always managed to get a ridiculous amount of yards every game. Between Logan and Carlos the rest of the team could sit out and we'd still win. Well maybe not the whole team. Just James.

I first noticed James leaning against the fence by the blechers I was sitting in. He was in full uniform, helmet in one hand, while his other held the side of Mandy's face. They were close, both shivering slightly. But they were both smiling. Giggiling to each other, looking happy. It made me sick to my as soon as Kendall sat down next to me, handing me a hot cocco, one of his arms wrapped around me and let me snuggle into him, mostly for warmth. But also because I missed his touch. That's how we sat the entire game up unilt now. He had gotten up to go to the bathroom leaving me cold and slightly sad. It got a little worse when Matt offered to get everyone more hot cocco and left Kendall's dad, Donald, and me by ourselves. There was a timeout called by the other team after we got another first down and I glanced to my right seeing Donald looking at me. When I locked eyes with him he chuckled and looked away. I smiled and slowly scooted closer to him getting his attention again. "Has Kendall been okay?" He laughed and pulled his hands out of his pokcets, turning to me.

"That's funny. He kept asking Logan and Carlos the same about you." I blushed and looked back to the feild seeing the game start back up. "Emma...I don't know you all that well. But from what my son has said about you...from what I remember your parents saying about you...I know you are a very bright, kind, loyal beautiful girl. Something my son definetly needs more of in his life. I..."

"He talks about me?" He laughed rubbing his hands together, breathing into them harshly.

"I think the very first day of school was the first time he started writing about you." My heart skipped a few beats and I sat up, suddenly very interseted. "Last Monday, after he came home he went right to his room and locked himself inside. It wasnt until about 20 minutes later I heard him cry." I frowned knowing that was my fault letting Donald put one of his warm hands on top of mine. "He confessed to me that he loved you. And even though you had done some questionable things...he still loved you. And then he worried he was turning into me. I asked him what he meant and he showed me a few empty liqour bottles under his bed." I shook my head softly feeling guilt crash over me and he squeezed my hand. "He asked for help and he's getting it. Having you back in his life helps. And making out in the back of Logans car proabably did too." I blushed and looked away smiling small. "I love my kids. I still love my ex wife but my mistakes have molded me into this man your sitting next to right now. And if I had a chance to go back and change anything, all I would change is pushing the love of my life away so harshly. I would do anything to have her back, but know I can't. I've come to terms with that. Kendall...he can't. He can't get over you, no matter what you say or do to him. As his father..." I turned back to him and he gently put a hand on my cheek making me shiver. "As his dad I can't see him go down the same road as I did. If you have any intention of being with him, please be gentle. He acts tough but he's a big squishy teddy bear with a lot of feelings." I luaghed and quickly did something that surprised even me. I lunged forward and hugged around him, squeezing my eyes shut hard. He huffed out but held around me rubbing my back. "Thank you. For making my son into the man he is."

"Thank you for bringing him to me." I was quiet, hoping the people around us, didn't think we were weird.

"Tell me you guys saw that play?!" I pulled away from Donald and watched my brother and Kendall walk to us holding hot foam cups of chocolate. I slid back to my original spot and let Kendall sit between us as Matt sat next to me on the other side. I took a cup from him and looked at Kendall as he gave his dad his cup and a weird look. I simply hooked one arm into his and set my head on his shoulder sighing quietly.

We won our homecoming game, which was not a surprise to me. Everyone ran out onto the feild rushing the players, but the four of us stayed. I was way too warm and comfortable to leave Kendall's side, which he didn't mind. I looked around the feild seeing Logan getting hoisted up onto peoples shoulders as his helmet fell out of his hands. He was grinning big and was high fiving people as he was held up. I laughed and quickly scanned the feild some more seeing to my disguest Mandy being held up by James. He was holding under her legs, while she held his face and made out with him. My smile fell and I turned my face into Kendall's shoulder sighing quietly. He gently rubbed my knee and i glanced up to see him lookign donw at me. I smirked and looked back down except turned my head to my brother. "So...after the dance tonight I was going to go to Carlos's house and hang out. Probably stay the night. Is that alright?" Matt laughed standing, drinking the rest of his drink. When he lowered his cup instead of looking to me he looked at Kendall. I sighed and started to untangle myself from him.

"Is it weird to anyone else how you only hang out with dudes, and I'm okay with you staying at thier houses?" I smiled at him as i stood up and shook my head. "Yeah. Just be careful and have fun." I nodded and turned to Kendall who was standing, pulling Logan's keys out of his pocket.

"And I assume you're going to go too?" I saw Kendall nod as his dad stood up stretchign hsi back as he went. "Don't get too crazy." His dad's soft warning made my stomach turn and i quickly grabbed his hand squeezing it. Kendall squeezed back and Donald cleared his throat. "Well Matt we might as well go get your sister's truck to working." I smirked and watched the two grown up's walk down the bleachers talking quietly. As soon as they stepped off the last step I forced Kendall to turn to me and did the thing I'd been wanting to do for a very long time. I held his face, pulling it donw to me and kissed him hard. His hands found my hips and he pulled me tighter into him moaning very quietly. I moved one hand up to his head and ran my fingers over the skin on the back of his neck. I twirled the little bit of hair poking out from under his beanie and tried to deepen the kiss. However a voice calling my name caugth my ear and I pulled away gasping quietly. I turned my head to the stairs and tensed up seeing James taking the stairs two at time to get to us. Kendall let me go and kind of stood in front of me, which was adorbale but gently pushed him to the side, knowing I could handle James. "Hey..." He stopped two rows below us and sighed out glancing between Kendall and I. "How are you doing?" I smirked looking over my shoulder at Kendall who looked down right pissed.

"What happened? Mandy cut you loose for a while?" I sighed elbowing Kendall and turned back to see James smiling small.

"I didn't come here to talk to you." I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose closing my eyes.

"And I don't want to talk to you so whatever it is you have to say..."

"All I want to tell you is whatever Camille or Mandy so or do to you, I'm not involved." I looked up quick and felt sick. "Honestly I...I have asked them over and over to just drop it but..."

"You're too pussy whiped?" I groaned turning completly and put my hands on Kendall's face making him look down at me.

"Can you go wait in Logan's car please?" He raised his eyebrows and started to shake his head but I held his face tight and sighed quietly. "Please go wait in the car Kendall." He looked over my head before leaning down and kissed me. His hands went over my ass, pulling my jacket up in the back and he squeezed. He put his tongue in my mouth and kissed me with every ounce of energy he had. I tried to pull away, but realized I didn't want to. WHen he finally pulled away from my mouth and I opened my eyes he was already walking down the stairs flipping James off locking eyes with him. I turned and saw James only looking at me. He chuckeled out and slowly sat himself donw on the bleachers. I wiped at my mouth and stepped down sitting next to him gently. "Good game." He laughed and set his helmet on the bleacher in front of him.

"I barely played seeing as Logan suddenly forgot how to throw to me." I frowned and looked out to the feild seeing Kendall approaching Logan and Carlos high fiving them both. "I over heard Logan and Carlos talking about your plans for tonight. And that Kendall asked you to go to the dance with him. At first I didn't believe it but the kid knows how to put on a show." I rolled my eyes turning back to him. He was looking right at me and shurgged. "Mandy is...she is still pretty pissed off we hooked up." I laughed loudly and he frowned looking out to the feild. I followed his gaze and saw we were being watched by her, with Camille whispering in her ear. "She feels betrayed by you. By me."

"Yet you get to get back in her pants and not have the whole school whisper at you as you walk by." He looked down and made his Adam's apple bounce up and down a couple times. "Do you expect me to apologize to her or something?"

"No. I want you to know that Camille got in her head and poisoned her." I sat back a little and he glared at me squinting. "Camille convinced her to prank you. I don't know how but she did. I don't know what they're going to do but it's going to be tonight."

"Why are you telling me?"

"Because I still care about you." He was quiet and i quickly looked back to see Kendall walking off the field with Logan and Carlos all three laughing loudly about something. "DO you knwo how hard it is to see you guys all together, laughing, being good friends still? It hurts to know this is all my fault."

"Rigth...because you admited you loved me and wanted to be with me, and then changed your midn because her outfit was just a little more reveilign than mine?" His mouht opened and I stood up fast. "Thanks for the warning James but all I can say to you now is go fuck yourself." I turned and walked away quick running down the bleachers. I walked out onto the feild and walked about 20 yards away from Camille and Mandy who were both smiling and waving at me. I turned my head quick and sped up seeing Kendall waiting outside the boys locker room looking down at his phone. I rushed to him, feeling like tears were going to spill out of my eyes hating I let James get under my skin. When I got in front of him he put his phone in his pocket and grabbed my arms.

"What did that asshole say to you?" I shook my head closing my eyes pushing into him.

"He was warning me...he told me Mandy and Camille are planning on pranking me or something...I don't know and I don't care. I just know I hate him. And them." He let me wrap around him as I gently shivered and wiped at the few tears that slipped past my eyes.

"Come on...lets go warm you and the car up. And then we'll go get ready for the dance, and not think about it anymore." I nodded against him and let him effortlessly pull me to the parking lot.

As we walked, hand in hand, a distrubing painful thought crept into my head. What if this prank, or joke the girls were going to play was already happening? WHat if they got Kendall involved? And Logan and Carlos? What this whole week they were acting like my friends, just to make me happy again, so Mandy could rip it out from underneath me?


	22. Chapter 22

**Kendall's P.O.V.**

 **(I need to give a small warning. Somethings in this chapter are going to be a little dark. There are going to be a few trigger words and I apologize in advance. Please read with an open mind and know that I am not trying to offend anyone.)**

"Is my tie straight?" I remained looking down, tying my high top Chuck tight around my ankle hearing an irritated sigh beside me. The body beside me got off the edge of the bed and i dipped donw a little, but kept sitting up, right leg raised. When I finished that foot, i lowered it just to bring up the left one. "I still think you look like a fucking fruit cake with that bow tie."I glanced up fast, blindily shoving my left foot in the shoe and tying it up tight looking at my two friends. Carlos had a smirk on his face as Logan pulled his tie out from the knot a little so he could push it back up and straighten it.

"Pretty funny for a short fuck who doesn't know how to tie a tie." I smirked standing myself up unbunching my pants from my crotch and sighed out. I walked behind Carlos and quickly pushed his closet door open all the way. His mirror attached to the back made my long, skinny awkward body look just how I thought. Awkward and ridiculous. I tugged at my sleeves groaning quietly. I was wearing black slacks, with my Chucks down at my feet. My pants were being held up by black suspenders and I had a dark blue logn sleeved, button up shirt tucked into my pants. And to finish it off I was wearing a black skinny tie that felt too tight and out of place. "You look...ridiculous man." Logan genlty pushed me to the side and stood in front of the mirror adjusting his bow time. Logan was also wearing black pants, and shinny dress shoes. He had a white button up shirt tucked into his pants and a red bow tie around his neck. While I looked like a little kid trying to look like his dad, Logan looked like a grown man with real swagger and confidence. No wonder Emma dated him.

"Shut up. Kendall you look nice. Emma will be more than pleased." Carlos stood in front of me and started pulling on his coat avoiding the gel in his hair. Carlos was wearing a full on suit, and looked like he was about to get married. He was wearing the black slacks, dress shoes, and a plain white shirt, but had a deep red tie hanging from his neck. I didn't even think to wear school colors like them, but thought nothin gof it. "How do you think she's doing?" I shurgged walking to my bag on Carlos's bed and started digging through it. "I still think we should tell someone at the dance Mandy and Camille are planning something."

"What do you honestly think they'll do?" Both Logan and Carlos turned to me and i pulled out my cologne my mom got me last Christmas. "One of us will be with her the whole night...and if we see either of them...or James, we get them kicked out." Logan sighed and walked to me, extending his hand for my cologne bottle. I quickly suirted some on my neck and handed it to him shaking my arms breathing out hard. "If she just let us beat the shit out of James this wouldn't be an issue."

"Yeah but she said it's Mandy and Camille. Not him."

"And you believe that?" Carlos gave a dirty look to Logan who only shrugged putting his hands in his pockets. "That jackass is pussy whipped. I wouldn't be surprised if whatever they did he helped. He's too afaird of loosing that sweet Mandy pussy." I rolled my eyes turning to Carlos who quickly put on some of his own cologne and sighed out flicking off the light in his closet and then the one in his bathroom.

"Alright...let's go. I wouldn't be surprised if Emma was ready before us girls." Logan shoved at Carlos who flipped him off as he opened his bedroom door and hurried out, Logan thretening him under his breath.

We all walked down calling each other bad names, saying we looked liked garabge up until we walked into Carlos's huge kitchen to all our parents. I smiled at my dad who was drinking a beer with Logan and Carlos's dad. Matt walked out of the kitchen pizza in hand and sat down next to Carlos's dad, both taking a swig of their beer. Once Matt sat down, they all picked up thier cards and went back to playing poker. I frowned and walked behind my dad glancing at his hand. He had nothing. "Where's mom?" I watched Carlos lead Logan to the kitchen and open the fridge. He pulled out three Coke cans raising one to me. I nodded and walked out to him quickly taking it, snapping it open.

"With Jo Ann, helping Emma get her makeup and hair done. Katie is with them too. I'm out." I frowned watched Carlos's dad put his cards face down on the table standing up. "I filled the Suburban up with gas so you don't need to worry about it." Carlos nodded at his dad taking a sip of his coke. Before anyone else said anything a soft throat got cleared making all of us turn to the door. Jo Ann, Logan's mom and Ruby, Carlos's mom, were standing in the door way each holding a glass of red wine.

"Okay boys...here she comes!" Jo Ann squealed and seperated from Ruby, exposing the most beautiful girl in the world.

Emma walked in slowly hands donw at her sides, clenched tight. The first thing I noticed were the black strappy heels she just bought today. They had to be at least three inches because she was almost as tall as Logan's mom. I slowly moved my eyes up her legs loving the idea of running my hands over them. They looked so soft. But I only got to see up to her mid thigh. The beautiful short, sort of tight dark blue dress she was wearing literally extentuated every single curve on her. She wasn't a very big girl, height or wieght wise. But this dress clung to her thighs, her hips and her waist like a fucking glove. I vaguely remember setting my coke down as I started to walk towards her, my eyes still moving up. Her short, simple tight little dress had no straps. She showed off her collar bones, her shoulders and the way the dress was cut in the front, showed cleavage. I didn't care as I approached her that my dad and her brother were in the room. I put my hands on her hips and fianlly found her face. She was smiling small, ruby red lipstick on her smooth looking lips. Her eyes were dark, and smokey. Her face was clear of any impurities. Her hair was curled, into tight curls, and her bangs were clipped back onto the side of her head showing her rigth ear with about 5 piercings in it. "Alright...so Kendall likes my dress." Her voice broke through my thoughts and I smirked looking down again gripping her hips tighter. "We would have been done earlier, but Ruby said I looked so much like my mom and I started crying which made them cry and eventually Katie had to pull us apart and get us back on track." I looked over her shoulder quick at my baby sister who was walking towards us, giving me a stupid look. I smirked at her and cleared my throat stepping away from Emma seeing Logan and Carlos all looking at her, practicually drooping. "You alright Matt?" I snapped my head to Matt who was standing next to my dad, who had his hand on his shoulder smiling at me. Matt swallowed hard and looked down walking to his young sister.

"You do look like mom. By about a billion times." Emma blushed and looked down just as Matt stepped in front of her. "You look so beautiful Emma. Mom would have loved this dress." Emma hugged her brother sweetly before he pulled away. "Dad on the other hand...not so much." The dad's around the table laughed making both Emma and I blush. "Well...you guys should get going. Don't wanna miss the whole dance." I stood up straight and turned to Logan and Carlos who drank the last of thier drinks before slowly heading towards the front of the door. Carlos got the keys from his dad and I followed behidn them, putting a hand on the small of Emma's back pulling her into me. As we got to the door there wa a loud wait from behind us, and we all turned to see Carlos's mom running towards us, an expensive camera in hand.

"You are not leaving until I get pictures!" Carlos groaned making the rest of us laugh. Emma quickly got up the two steps to the door and stood beside me, Logan getting on her other side. Carlos got beside Logan and I slipped my hand onto Emma's hip feeling her arms wrap around me. One arm wrapped around my back, while the othe rested on my chest. "Say homecoming!" The four of us did just as she snapped the picture. I smiled big feeling like a million bucks with Emma on my arm.

Our car ride to the posh country club was loud with alot of laughter. Emma and I sat in the back leaning forward to join in on the stupid conversations Logan and Carlos were having. Carlos blared offensive rap in the stereo, all of us sort of bobbing along to it. When Carlos finally pulled into the parking lot, already full, we all hurried out and inside to get out of the brisk Novemeber cold. Because there was a line that stopped at the door, I stood outside it letting Emma go in front of Logan and Carlos, seeing as she was showing a lot more skin. I couldn't stop looking at her over thier heads and everytime she saw me, she blushed. I chuckled and quickly walked in seeing the line move.

When we fiinally got in, Logan and Carlos led us to a table sort of in the corner away from a lot of people. I pulled Emma's seat out for her and pushed it back in before she sat down. Carlos sat next to her and I leaned down kissing her cheek. "I'm gonna grab some drinks." She nodded looking up and quickly kissed my cheek. When I pulled away she smirked standing quick. SHe started wiping at my cheek, probably to get lipstick off it. I laughed as she sat down, saying sorry quietly and I turned to Logan who was gagging at us.

I followed him to the longish line of the bar and stood behind him, putting my hands in my pockets as he turned to me. "So?" He raised an eyebrow at me and I raised one back looking around me, probably to where Carlos and Emma were sitting. "Emma looks pretty good. You think you'll get lucky?" I luaghed and glanced around at our fellow classmates, all in nice dresses and suites. "Come on man. Everyone saw you trying to devour her in Carlos's kitchen. I'm just tyring to help you out. Cause you're not banging next to me. You'll have to find another spot in the house." I shook my head stepping forward, him right next to me.

"Are you trying to help me get laid Logan?" Logan shurgged looking at a younger looking girl walkign past us, huge boobs not covered by much. "I've already fucked up once so..."

"No you haven't. I did." He turned back to me and frowned. "Emma will obviously tell you whats too fast. I don't think she's going to have a problem with speed tonight." I looked away quick and started to let imagies of her bouncing on top of me...me on top of her. I know I was blushing because I started to get hot. "So back to the topic of Mandy and Camille..." I snorted turning to him seeing him look around me.

"Logan I really doubt they are going to even show up." Logan glanced to my face and grinned big.

"Funny." He pointed around my shoulder and I spun quick seeing Mandy and Camille, not in dresses, but jeans and tiny tank tops. I swallowed hard as they started to make thier way towards us and felt Logan push past me and stand in front of me. "Why the hell are you two here?" Mandy stood right in front of him, Camille getting right beisde her. Mandy laughed loudly and leaned in getting right in front of Logan's face.

"You look real cute Loges. Emma has no idea what she's missing." Logan shook his head turning away just as Mandy turned to me, smiling big. "But wait...talk of the town is you got her arm tonight. What a lucky guy. Or should I say lucky girl?" She kind of let her eyes roam donw my body and I stepped forward quick.

"Stay the hell away from us." Mandy frowned, pouting and stepped back crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well that's not very nice Kendall. Especialyl considering how nice to me you were the other night." I frowned and shook my head turning to Logan who didn't look like he was belieivng what she was saying. Cause it was stupid. "Oh geeze...that's right. Let me help jog your memory...you were pretty drunk, but whats new there?" I froze up and she stepped closer to me. "You don't remember Camille and I coming to your house, you letting us in, and then you begging me...pleading with me to fuck you, do you?" My mouth parted open slowly and she chuckled. She took one last step to me and one of her hands was on my arm. "Come on Kendall...use that brain of yours. Try to remember the very good time we had. You'll want to...Emma is not a very understanding girl without alot of information."

"Speaking of..." We both turned at Camille's voice to see Emma walking towards us, Carlos close behind. Before I could step away, my head was turned and Mandy quickly pulled me down, kissing me hands went to her hips to pull her away, but that just seemed to deepen the kiss. My brain told me to pull back. You're a hell of alot stronger than her. But I guess because I'm just a stupid guy and liked how good of kisser Mandy was, I didn't pull away. It wasn't until I was shoved hard and seperated from her my head got put back on my shoulders and I saw who pushed me. It was Emma. I breathed out hard as she glared at me, before turning to Mandy. She made a movement to get to her, but Logan stepped in quick, holding her back. "Gosh she sure is cute when she's fiesty." Emma tried to get out of Logan's grip but he was too strong. I clamed my breathing down staring at Mandy who was smirking at me, wiping her mouth.

"That taste nothing like the drunk ones I was getting the other night. Can't tell which one I like better." I clenched my fists down at my sides, remembering it's wrong to hit girls and watched her look to Emma. For a minute I thought she was going to say something else, but she simply just looked at her. Mandy laughed and turned to Camille who was grinning ear to ear. They both started to walk away, but Mandy turned quick, just as Logan was letting Emma go. "Oh hey Em's...you might want to check his bed before you climb in it with him. I think i forgot my panties there." Logan tightened around Emma but Emma simply stayed still. Mandy laughed again turning to Camille grabbing her hand walking away.

It was scary quiet around the four of us but before I could say anything Emma was in my face. I half expected her to be crying. Or hitting me. Instead she stood in front of me, basically steam coming from her ears. "You had sex with her?"

"I don't know." My voice was quiet making her soften up quickly. "I guess...I was drunk...I don't remember anything. I swear."

"Dude...that's fucked up. She took advantage of you. She basically...raped you." I turned to Carlos feeling my stomach do a miillion flips hearing the words come out of his mouth. "No...no she can't get away with that. I'm calling my dad." He went to reach for his phone but I grabbed him hard.

"Please...don't." My cheeks were on fire from embarrassment and I let him go fast. I looked back to Emma who was giving me a really sad look. "Emma I've been struggling and when I drink now adays I drink to black out. I never remember anything." She shook her head looking to where Mandy and Camille just disappeared and I touched her.

"Carlos is right. She can't get away with it." Emma was a lot faster than all three of us combined and when we finally registered where she was going, we sprang into action. I hurried behind Logan and Carlos trying to push through the very crowded dance floor. When we got past it I swear I saw Emma go outside towards the back, where there was a huge man made lake. I conintued following the other two pointing them to the door. They went right to it and pushed it open, me follwoing fast.

As we stepped outside, immedietly shivering I saw Emma walking down towards a dock where Mandy and Camille were standing. We ran out to them but no one coudl stop the harsh words thrown around. "You fucking cunt. How could you do that to him?"

"Do what? He was begging me to suck his dick. And let me put in my ass so prepapre for that." Mandy stood tall as Emma approached them, us not far behind. "How does it feel Emma to know that the love of your life has wandering eyes? And that he'd be so ready to drop you for another peice of ass."

"The difference Mandy is James and I both agreed. We were both consious and could say no!" I quickly put an arm on Emma pulling her back but she shoved off me. "This is still about me fucking James? Don't you get it? He chose you! Not me? Why do you still care?" Mandy got quiet and looked down, also shivering like the rest of us. "My whole life i've known you, i've never once done somethign to hurt you! You were like my sister and its now over because you let this stupid bitch get in your head?" Camille stepped forward, btu so did Carlos.

"Sweetheart you have no idea about anything do you?!" Camille still stepped up to Emma and i again put my hand on her arm. "James didn't have sex with you because he loved you! He did it because he's a guy and wants to put it in anythign that walks! That should be obvious to the fact he dropped you to be with her again, who he actually loves." Emma shivered not shoving me away and I watched Mandy stay still and quiet. "And you're right...both you and James were consious. But if both Mandy and Kendall were drunk no wasn't really ever an option." Everyone went quiet but Mandy stepped forward giving Camille a weird look.

"Wait..." I tensed up as she looked at me before turning to Camille. "You told me we just made out." My shoulders fell a little as Cammille laughed and pulled her phone out.

"Yeah sure...keep telling yourself that. But mister I love Emma was having a hard time going alogn with it, so i kept giving you guys drinks. And then because I didn't think this stupid bitch would believe me, I recorded a bit of it." Camille turned her phone quick and i felt like throwing up seeing me lying on my bed, nude as Mandy bounced on top of me. Mandy gasped quietly making Camille turn to her frowning. "What? This is what you wanted right? Remember when you came to me asking me to help you get Emma back? This is what we agreed on! Don't tell me you suddenly regret it?!" Emma pushed me away quick and lunged forward, no one stopping her. She grabbed a hold of Camille and started to push her. I tried to move forward seeing them too close to the edge but I wasn't quick enough. Both girls fell into the cold, deep looking water, disappering fast. I moved to the edge quick and squinted down in teh darkness already kickign my shoes off. I coudl see Camille raising up from the water, Emma no where to be seen. I didn't give it a second thought as I dove in, remembering her tell me she didn't know how to swim.


	23. Chapter 23

**Emma's P.O.V.**

" _Emma...Emma can you hear me?"_ The voice over me, sounded so familar and safe, but it also sounded far away. Everything around me was black. And cold. Ice cold. I couldn't make up from down but searched for the face of the voice. " _Go call for help! And get her the fuck out of here. Emma please..."_ The darkness seemed to just keep going, except for a split second I saw something shining at me. I rushed to it, I assumed I did, and felt my arm reach up and out and I touched it. And then I felt like throwing up. And I did.

I turned quick from lying on my back and started coughing out a lot of water. It burned coming out but a comforting hand rubbed my back. I coughed out two more times before I fianlly opened my eyes and saw a wooden dock underneath me. i slowly pushed myself up into a sitting position. I turned my head and saw the face of the voice I was hearing. Logan was kneeling in front of me, one hand on my shoulder, his white shirt a little wet. I coughed out again and gently pushed into him letting him hug around me. "Kendall...you alright?" I pushed off Logan quick and turned seeing Kendall on hands and knees shivering, soaking wet, just like me. I stood up fast feeling my teeth chatter as I walked to him and put a hand on his back. He stood up fast and wrapped around me holding my tight. Our cold bodies smashed together but I didn't care that it made me colder. I squeezed my eyes shut hard and put my face in his neck shaking with him to the cold.

Hindsight I shouldn't have shoved at Camille. Especailly since I didn't have that great of balance. But she set me off. Hearing what she did to Kendall...the things she was saying to me, I wanted to kill her. I had never been physical with anyone like that before but was happy my first time getting in a fight was with her. "What happened out here?" I pulled away from Kendal shivering still just as Carlos came running towards us, the football coach not far behind him. I held around my body and looked rigth at Mandy, seeing her geniuenly looking sad. "What the hell happened?" The coach stopped in front of me and quickly slid off his sports coat, handing it down to me. I took it gratefully but turned to Kendall seeing him with his hands in his pockets shivering, his lips and face, either red or turning blue. I put the coat out to him but he shook his head fast, only taking it from me, so he could start to put it on me. I sighed but welcomed the warmth.

"This phsyco bitch hit me and we fell in the lake." My mouth flung open seeing Camille holding around herself as well, as she walked to us.

"She didn't hit you! You pushed her!" Logan's loud voice echoed in my hurt ears as he got in her face. Camille's mouth fell open but the coach simply grabbed ahold of Camille's arm.

"All of you inside. Garcia and Mitchell...tell me what happened." I was held around my hips gently and Kendall started walking us, behind the coach still holding Camille.

"I can tell you. She hit me, and she shoved us into the lake. She's fucking phsyco Coach."

"Camille pulled her in, knowing full well Emma can't swim. If Kendall hand't jumped in Emma could have drowned." Carlos was rushing beside the coach and all I could do is shiver and shake. Coach's jacket was warm but I was more happy Kendall was holding around me. However, Camille looking back at me, made my blood freeze even more than I was already.

"Maybe it would have been better if she did drown."Kendall tightened around me but I simply laughed staring her down.

"Fuck you bitch." Coach sighed pulling Camille tighter and I shook my head. "Can we go coach?" He simply pulled open a side door and pushed Camille in, all of us folowing quick.

I walked blindly into a closed off room with what looked teachers coats and purses. There was a fire blazing and Kendall and I quickly went to it. I stood in front of it, turning to look at the coach, who only went by coach, who had his hands on his hips staring at Kendall and I. "Emma..."

"I shoved her. She grabbed a hold of me back, and we fell in the lake." He sighed but shook his head at the three in the room, who weren't wet.

"Is that true? No bullshitting boys." Logan looked to me before turning back to the coach and nodded. Carlos also nodded while for the first time, I saw Mandy, and saw she was looking rigth at me. "Okay...because this is a school function, you two have detention all next week." My stomach feel into my toes and Kendall quickly jumped in front of me.

"Coach Emma was defending herself." He simply put up a hand at Kendall who still stayed in front of me.

"Detention. You two will be helping me clean the girls locker room all week after school. From end of 6th period until 4." I crossed my arms over my chest and looked down shivering. I turned quick letting the fire warm my front side. "And I'm kicking you out of the dance. You both have to leave." I felt a tear fall out of my left eye but wiped away quick. I couldn't let any of them see me crying because I was being disciplined. I have never gotten in trouble before. I have never been kicked out of a school function before. Not once had I had detention. This wasn't me and I knew if my dad and mom were here, they would be so disappointed. But even though my sad thoughts of feeling like a failure were overwhelming, another one crept into my head. Wasn't it worth it? Knowing she forced Kendall to get drunk...forced Mandy too...sleep with Kendall while she recorded it...wasn't I in the right? "How'd you get here Emma?" I wiped my face again feeling more tears coming out but remained quiet, turned away from everyone.

"We brought her. We'll get her home." Carlos's voice sounded pissed which comforted me a little.

"I can't believe you're doing this coach." Logan's voice also sounded angry and it made me raise my head and open my eyes. I stared at the huge, beautiful fireplace mantle in front of me as i continued to cry. "This is fucked up and you know it."

"Mitchell not now. Watch your mouth and make sure she gets home, safe and warm."

"What the fuck ever. If it was anyone else you know it would be a stupid fight! But Emma hasn't stepped a toe out of line since she was a born! She had good reason to shove Camille."

"Enough Logan!" I turned quick too see Logan starign up at the tall large man in front of him and wished I had my voice to tell Logan to stop and drop it. But i couldn't.

"You're fucking pathetic." Everyone tensed up seeing the coach sort of deflate and he shook his head turning to the door.

"Everyone go home. Logan I'll see you in detention along with them."

"Fucking fantastic." I swollowed hard watching Logan storm out of the room, shoulder checking his coach who ignored it, looking at the rest of us. Again, Kendall wrapped around me and pulled me out, me not being able to look at the coach. I looked up ahead at us seeing Logan weaving through the crowd to the exit and sighed out. No matter what our relationship was, Logan always had my back. I admired it in him, but I hated when he got in trouble. His dad came down on him hard, everytime.

We made it outside, me shivering again only seeing Carlos's dad's car. I saw Carlos on the other side of me and breathed out deep seeing Logan leaning against it, anger still radiating off him. When we got to him he pulled open the passenger door and motioned me to get it. I stopped short and he shook his head. "You can get in front of the heater. Your lips are blue." I frowned and looked to Kendall who smiiled as he leaned down and kissed my cheek. I barely felt it and watched him climb in the back fast, shutting his door hard. I turned back to Logan who started to walk away, but I grabbed his arm.

"You shouldn't have argued with him." My teeth chattered. Logan put an arm around me and pushed me to the car, already on. He pushed me up in the seat and slammed my door shut hard. I jumped and looked over to see Carlos pulling his coat off. He handed it back to Kendall who i watched take it quickly and put over his body.

At first, as we drove away from the country club, no one said a word. Carlos had the heater on full blast and i sank down in my seat a little letting the heat wrap around me. I watched out the window as the city went by us and wished I could go back in time and do everything different. It wasn't until Carlos pulled into an empty gas station parking lot that I looked over at him. He grabbed his wallet and pushed his door open, stepping out. He shut the door hard and hurried inside, both hands in his pockets. I sighed out and dared to glance to the back at Logan and Kendall. Logan was sitting up straight one arm on the door holding his head up, staring blankly outside. My eyes moved to Kendall who was already staring at me. I forced a smile and he gave one back. I laid my head on the rest and he looked away at the window. "Emma...I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let her kiss me and I'm sorry I had..."

"Kendall." He kept his head turned and I shook mine feeling my anger starting to rise. "We need to tell someone what they did."

"No we don't. I didn't look like I hated what was happening in that video."

"They purposely got you drunk." Logan's voice was considerably clamer and quieter. I looked to him and watched him turn his head to Kendall sighing out. "Carlos's dad is the chief of police. I think you should tell him."

"You can think whatever you want. I'm not going to." I frowned and sat up a little starting to feel warm again. He looked between the two of us and forced a very fake smile. "Guys can't get assulted like that. And I wasn't assulted. I had sex with her shit faced. That's all." I turned away quick and felt sick. Kendall was in denial. I don't know if it's because he was embarrassed or maybe he did remember it, and didn't want to admit it to me. "I appreciate you guys sticking up for me and having my back but..."

"Guys can get assulted Kendall. And if you don't say anything I will. What Camille did is wrong. She made Mandy have sex with you. If you weren't drunk would you have done it?"

"Of course not but..."

"Then were telling Carlos's dad." I started biting my bottom lip seeing Carlos walking out of the gas station, fire wood in one hand and a few bags in the other. He walked to the back, opening it up and set everything inside before hurrying back to his seat. As soon as his door shut I saw in the corner of my eye Logan sit up. "We need to tell your dad what Camille and Mandy did to Kendall. They forced him..."

"Logan stop. Please." I heard a quiver in Kendall's voice and it broke my heart. I looked back fast and slipped my seatbelt off even faster. I made my way to the back, crawling over the center, between the seats and quickly sat in the middle between Logan and Kendall. Kendall had his head turned away from me, but i could see he was crying. I put a hand on the jacket still covering him and pulled it down. i raised one arm and gently pulled on him towards me. I heard a door open and shut softly as Kendall fell into me, wrapping both his arms around me. He was shaking again, but not from cold. He cried quietly on me, only making me feel anger and sadness. I had never seen him like this. And the fact that he was crying because of what the other two did killed me. I closed my eyes sitting back a little and let Kendall lay his head on my chest, crying still.

Carlos and Logan remained quiet the rest of the way to Carlos's house. Kendall stopped crying as soon as he started, but still laid on me, holding me tight. Every now and then I would kiss onto his head and rub his back and his arm, not saying a word. When I saw we were pulling into Carlos's driveway seeing all the cars of their parents and my brother, i tensed up. This wasn't going to end well. However, before Logan got out of the passenger seat he looked back at us, looked at Kendall and looked away fast. We locked eyes and he smiled. "I'll go and...explain why we got kicked out. I won't say anything else." I nodded mouthing thank you him only smiling small and nodding. When they both got out, Carlos grabbed the stuff from the back and quickly walked into the brightly lit house.

We sat only for a few seconds, him still on me, before he pushed off and wiped his face, cheeks red from embarrasment. I sighed putting a hand on his arm getting him to look at me. He sniffeled and chuckled sitting back. "Sorry for..." He stopped and shrugged looking around.

"I'm sorry I left you in the first place." He turned back to me and I shook my head, guilt washing over me. "If I had listened to you, after everything Logan said about you we wouldn't have broken up. You wouldnt have started drinking so heavily and they..." I stopped and he looked donw at my hand on his arm still. "I love you Kendall. And whatever you need...when ever you want to talk about it...if you do i'm here." He nodded and i reached up gently, rubbing my thumb over his cheek bone making him look back up to me.

"Emma I love you too." He leaned in quick and kissed me hard. I kissed him back but he pulled back quickly. "I want you. Completely." My mouth parted open and he squeezed my thigh and my side as he held me. "I need you. Because I know what it's like to not have you. And its rough. I can't go through that again." I moved my hand down to his neck and smiled small nodding. I leaned in and kissed his lips softly just as three soft knocks hit the window behind Kendall's head. I pulled away seeing Kendall's dad and my brother standing on the grass by the car and sighed out. It was going to be a long night.


	24. Chapter 24

**Kendall's P.O.V.**

Finally, I had stopped shivering. My teeth weren't chattering, and when I looked at my reflection in my water destroyed phone, my lips were no longer blue and my face wasn't beat red. Sitting in front of this huge fireplace in my grey sweats and big black hoodie, all I could think of was the warmth. Which, oddly enough, reminded me of Emma. I don't think I had ever noticed it before, simply because we've never been freezing, but she was extremely warm. Her hands on my face in the car warmed me, almost more than this fire. But because she wasn't near me this fire was doing just fine. I was just waiting for it no longer to be able to warm me, when one person came in this room. My dad.

I didn't have to say two words to him. He knew...he just knew I was upset. Nothing had to be said. At least by me. When Emma and I walked in Carlos's house, like I'd done so many times before, my dad grabbed the back of my head and pulled me into him. All he asked is if I was okay and wanted Logan's mom to check me out. I simply shook my head and forced a smile at him, but he knew. He knew Logan told him I had to jump in a frozen lake to pull Emma out because she was defneding me from Camille. Like he promised Logan didn't say anything about what they did to me, but he did say she was taking low shots to hurt me, and it upset Emma. My dad continued to say how proud of me he was and that he loved me. But he also knew something else had happened and maybe when I'm dead I'll tell him.

But the worst part probably to see and hear was Emma talking to her brother behind a closed door. I didn't mean to snoop but I couldn't stand the thought that she would tell Matt about what happened to me. She didn't. In fact what she was upset about was how many mistakes she's made in her life since her parents death. She was blaming herself for me getting verbally attacked. She was upset that she dumped me in the first place. She hated herself for having her virginity taken by that son of a bitch James. It took alot for Matt to calm her down, but he finally did. When he started talking about how thier mother and father would be so proud of her, and how he knew they both liked me, I had to walk away and take my warm shower. It was too much. First off, my drinking was obviosuly so bad I couldn't even remember getting head and fucking someone. That sucked and it reiterated the points my dad told me; don't fucking touch that shit again. But to know Emma was taking the blame for it all, broke my heart. More so when she dumped me. "Hey man. Heres some coffee." I slowly turned my head away from the fire and smiled at Logan and Carlos walking in, holding bags of chips, cookies...everything bad for us, and a hot steaming cup of coffee for me. And walking in behind them was my sister, Katie. I lowered my arms from holding around my legs pressed to my chest and crossed my legs as they all sat around me. Katie got right to my side tossing a chip in her mouth as she got down. Logan got on my other side, and Carlos got beside him. "Feeling any warmer?"

"Loads. I don't have blue lips any more either." They laughed quietly beside me and I sipped the warm liguid gold, closing my eyes.

"Your dad said he was going to be going soon. And so is everyone else. But the little one next to you isn't."

"Carlos I'm 13. I'm not little." I opened my eyes down at my sister and smirked putting the coffee down in front of me. She smirked up at me and pointed to the two next to me. "They think they can show me a few things on Call Of Duty and I called thier bluff. So Now i'm staying with you guys. Dad says it's alright." I nodded turning back to the fire and took a deep, very large breath in. "Emma and I talked." I had to smile at that. Ever since Emma and I started dating, Katie has stayed distant. I think it's because she thought i'd do what i do best. Love 'em and leave 'em. But I always thought Emma would be a great influance on my baby sister. Emma was a braniac. There wasn't a problem you could place in front of her that she wouldn't be able to solve it. Emma also walked around like she was a normal person, while simultaniously knocking everyone dead with her looks. She didn't have to wrok to hard to be beautful. It just happened. And it wasn't her main focus. Her beauty never trumped her brains. "God all you have to say is Emma and he gets lost." I frowned down at her hearing the two next to me laugh while she smirked. "When she got out of the shower she didn't have any towels so I took some in for her. And then she asked if I could help her brush her hair. I thought it was a little weird at first but I soon realized she just wanted to gossip about you." I opened my mouth to talk but she stopped me. "Don't ask cause I'm not telling. Just know I like Emma. Alot. And for what she said, she likes you alot too. Actually she said Love but whatever..." Katie threw another chip in her mouth and I smirked shaking my head looking back in the fire.

"Room for one more?" My stomach did about 300 flips as I stood up and turned to the door. Emma walked in, in a pair of black, tight yoga looking pants, and one of my many flannel button up shirts. She had a blanket under one arm, and a cup of something steaming. Her face was free of her makeup and her hair up in a high bun on the top of her head. She was smiling...grinning at me as she walked to me and handed me the blanket. "I heard there is going to be an intense Call of Duty match up. I brought a blanket to snuggle." She turned and went to the long black leather couch and set her cup beside it. I swallowed hard watching her jump on the couch and motion me over to her. I took one step, but that's as far as I got. A strong big hand went to my chest and I looked up quick getting face to face with Matt. He looked stressed. He looked like he had the entire weight on his shoulders. It was kind of rough to see. I had only seen Matt look like this when he was in the hospital.

"Thank you. Emma swims as well as a rock. It means alot to me, to know she made the rigth choice with you." I could only shurg as he pulled me in quick, but tight. Over his shoulder I saw my dad walk in coat on, followed by the rest of the parents. "Emma don't embarrss these guys too much tonight by killing them in this game." Matt walked to his sister, kissing her head making her groan and shove at his shoulder. I walked to her as well and handed down the blanket to her turning to my dad. He didn't say a word as he pulled me in for a hug and kissed my head. I felt a blush but it wasn't big. When he pulled away I watched my sister run to him and hug him, telling him she'd text him in the morning. He only nodded saying he loved us both and turned following behind Matt who was given a tupperware dish by Carlos's mom.

Logan said goodbye to his parents, and Carlos was given set rules from his and in a matter of seconds, all five of us were left alone. They closed the door to the family room and I was left standing in the middle of the room. I let out a shakey breath as I turned to Emma to see her smiling up at me, folded blanket still on top of her. I walked to her, hearing the other two start to tell Katie about the rules of the match-up about to happen. I took the blanket from her and unfolded it as I turned. I sat donw next to her, immedietly letting her curl up into me. I put the blanket over us and raised my arm letting her dive in underneath. Her legs unfolded and she placed them on my thighs. I set my hand on her knee under the blanket and looked down at her seeing her looking up at me. I gave a half harted smile as I moved my arm around her shoulders to the front of her. I reached out, cupping her face and leaned in, pressing my lips on hers, softly. Both her hands grabbed fistfuls of my sweater and she pulled, deepening our kiss.

We didn't kiss long because Logan sat down next to me while Katie and Carlos sat in the arm chairs and started to play Call Of Duty. Emma laid her head on my chest and drapped an arm over my stomach. Every now and then she would put her hand in my sweater pocket and rub over my lower stomach. And every now and then I'd run my hand up and down her thigh, while the other rubbed her arm. Logan offered us snacks, and encouraged Katie to destroy Carlos. I started to watch them play, laughing alogn with them, and warning Carlos and Logan to watch thier language around my baby sister. However, when she did end up beating Carlos, she jumped up and yelled down at him to suck her dick. From then on Logan and Carlos had no problem cussing around her, and I couldn't stop any of them.

After about the fourth time of Katie beating both Carlos and Logan, twice, they decided on watching a movie. We all seemed to agree on a scary one, turning off all the lights, and closing all the blinds on the windows. Logan and Carlos made make shift beds down on the ground, letting Katie curl up on the loveseat. Emma and I stayed where we were, her snuggling deeper into my side. As the movie started to play and the two on the ground made thier stupid comments about how not scary it was going to be I glanced to Emma. She was looking up at me, and when our eyes locked her hand in my sweater pocket still, moved outside it, and quickly under my shirt. Her warm hand making contact with my cold stomach made me tense up, and sit up a little. Her legs, on my lap still, curled up a little and she pushed her feet down inbetween mine. I don't know if she meant to, but one of her feet grazed over my dick making me reache down quick and stop her foot. She continued to look at me as she pulled on my sweater, down to her lips. We kissed and automatically my hands started to go to work.

Somehow we got on our sides. She was facing me, her back to the TV, while I held around her, and kissed her like my life depended on it. She was laying her head on one of my arms, while the other held around her back. Except my arm was under her shirt and i was rubbing her bare back. Her hands were not as gentle. Well one of them wasn't. If I didn't have a working brain, I wouldn't have any kind of idea about what she was trying to do. Her left hand was inside my sweats, but over my boxers. She was jerking me without having skin to skin contact and it was slowly driving me nuts. Her other hand was holding onto my sweater still and would tug on me every now and then. I dared to move my hand on her back, down to her butt and was plesently surprised when she didn't stop me. I rubbed it donw one butt cheek and gently squeezed onto it, mkaing her slitghly whimper. I pulled away quick and watched her take in very deep breaths. Her hand left my boxers and she wiped at my lips, getting her kisses off it. "Let's go upstairs." Her whisper was barely heard, but she got up telling me I heard right. She kicked the blanket off and stepped around Carlos and Logan's pillows on the ground. She put a hand on Carlos's back as I sat up and looked to see my sisters eyes glued to the TV, eating popcorn. As I stood up Emma bent down and whispered in his ear. He laughed loudly making Katie and Logan look at him but he put a hand behind her head and pulled her ear to his lips. She hit him and stood back up putting out her hand. "Good night guys."

"Sicko's." She flipped Logan off who grabbed some popcorn from my sister, only laughing. I nodded to my sister who was smirking but went back to her popcorn and gory movie. My hand was grabbed I let her lead me out of the room, hoping no one noticed my enourmous hard on.


	25. Chapter 25

**Emma's. P.O.V.**

"Are we sleeping in here?" I smirked at myself in the mirror in Carlos's bathroom and looked donw my body. I was only in Kendall's black flannel shirt, and a pair of red laced pnaties. That was it. No make up on, no cute way my hair was in. Just two peices of clothing. "Can't believe Carlos gave his bed up." I laughed looking back up at my face. I reached down to the black box on the counter in front of me and sighed out. I heard the bed squeak, knowing Kendall was on it, probably getting himself comfortable. But no matter how soft Carlos's bed was, I felt and saw the bludge in his sweats. He was not comfortable. And I was going to help him out with that.

I walked out of the bathroom flicking off the light and stood in the doorway staring at the back of Kendall's head. He was sitting at the foot of the bed, TV on, trying to find something on Netflix. I quietly put the black box on the nightstand as I walked past it and made my way to stand in front of him. When I was, he looked up at my face before looking down my body. The remote dropped from his hands and his mouth parted just a little. i laughed and stood closer to him putting my hands on his shoulders. "Ya know...I don't think I was ever able to thank you. Thank you for being there with me when my parents died. You stuck by me...worried about me...helped my brother with whatever he needed around the house...you will never know how grateful I am to have you. And that you took me back." He swallowed hard dropping his eyes down to right in front of him, which was my stomach covered in his flannel. I saw his eyes move down to my bare legs but they didnt stay there for too long. We locked eyes as he placed his hands on my sides. "And since you pulled me out of that lake so I didn't drown...you tried to stand up for me in front of coach...it's like if I didn't have you...i'd be lost. I love you for that." I moved my hands to the back of his neck and traced little designs there. "I want to try to show you how much I love you. How much I appreciate you and all you've done for me. Of course...if you don't want to considering everything, I completly understand." He frowned as his hands moved to my back, pulling me closer to him.

"What are you talking about? I know you love me Emma...you're the one who took me back. I'm the lucky one in this relationship." I chuckled and quickly reached behind me for his hands. He tensed up as i set them up on the third button on the flannel, close to my breasts. He swallowed hard again and i softly nodded. I used one of his fingers to pop the button off and as he did, a tiny shiver went through me. I ignored it, putting my hands on his shoulders again as he slowly unbottoned the rest of the shirt. When it was finally done, he dropped his hands from me, folding them in his lap, sighing. His cheeks blushed as he looked at my bare stomah and chest, inbetween my boobs. "You don't need to do this, to prove anything to me." He looked up at me, and for a minute i felt ridicuous. Maybe he wasn't phsycially attracted to me. Maybe he didn't find me hot. And than it hit me. He probably thinks I still think he's a scum bag. For only wanting to get in my pants. At that thought I moved my hands up to his face and held it as I started to place myself on top of his lap.

"How many times have oyu had sex?" He breathed out hard. I climbed on his lap putting my legs outside his, watching his breathing picking up speed. "I'm not...I'm not mad. i'm just curious. I'm not very...experianced, and the first time I did have sex, it hurt like a bitch so i'm not sure I even enjoyed it. I'm pretty sure I orgas-" I stopped quick seeing how uncomfortable he looked and leaned in kissing his lips softly. "I wish you were my first." I spoke it softly into his mouth making him pull back and search my face fast. I moved one hand down his face, and neck to his chest, while my other one moved to the flannel and gently pushed it aside off my chest. His eyes fell down to my breast and I tensed up.

"4 times." I moved my hand back up to his face, and lifted it with a finger under his chin. "I was a different guy then. I didn't want to fall in love. I didn't want to get hurt like my parents did. I didn't want to turn into my dad. Those girls...they didn't mean anything to me, because I didn't mean anything to them." He was whispering it, and I think because he didn't want me to hear how sorry he sounded. i frowned putting my other hand on his neck as his rested his on my bare thighs. "I wish...I wish I could have been your first too. Because I know how special it should be. And if I could, I would go back and change everything. But because I can't...because I love you, I will do whatever you asked of me. I just want to make sure you are okay." I chuckled and lowered my hands down to the small openign between my legs, onto his crotch. He tensed up his legs under mine and cleared his throat as my hands started to palm over his sweats.

"Are you oaky? Because of what Mandy and Camille..." He leaned in quick and kissed me hard. That was clearly my answer that he didn't want to talk about it. But was that healthy?

I didn't really have any time to ask, as he lifted me, and turned us. He continued to kiss in my mouth and I had to hold onto the sides of his face just to keep myself together. He climbed up on the bed, on his knees and gently laid me down, pulling away from my mouth. I gasped quietly sitting up as he tore off his sweater. I don't know if he had a shirt on underneath, but when he lifted the sweater, all I saw was skin. I took off the flannel and tossed it to the side lying back down. He bent over me, gently spreading my legs, kneeling between them. One of his big hands held the side of my neck as the other went to his sweats. I noticed as he started kissing me, how not nervous I was, unlike when I did this with James. I turned my head letting him go down to my neck and suck. I found his hand with one of mine and pushed in his sweats with him. His lips left my neck, but his head stayed down, as he moaned over my skin. I gripped onto him and started to rub him, with his hand still with mine. My other hand ran up through his hair and tugged gently. "I don't have any protection." He whispered in my ear and it sent shivers up and down my skin. But i pushed his face up a little and pointed to the nightstand where the black box of condoms was. He pushed up, on his knee's and frowned down at me as he grabbed them. "Did you have this planned? Does Carlos know thats why we came up here?"

"He's my wingman...what do you expect?" He laughed sitting back on his feet and opened the box. He took one out and threw the box back to the nightstand. "Kendall can I suggest something?" He nodded as he pulled the condom out of the wrapper and I sat up. "Do you think...maybe I could be on top?" He looked up fast and his eyes seemed to get big. "With James...I felt like I was stuck underneath him. I just...want to try something else." I feel like the only thing he could do, was nod, and he did. I quickly moved out from in front of him and gnetly pushed him to the top of the bed. Before he sat back, he pulled his sweats and boxers down just a little to get his penis out. I swallowed hard pulling my panties off seeing him standing straight up. No, he wasn't as big as James but he was big enough. He didn't look at me as he put the condom on himself, and rubbed himself a little. I was fine with that. When he finally sat back, his shoulders against the headboard I started to climb over to him. I kept eye contact with him as i put my legs outside his and moved up his body slowly. One of his hands reached up and held my face as I finally got to a spot where I felt comfortable. I let out a shakey breath as I looked down and grabbed a hold of him. My breathing was picking up speed and i could tell my face was red from embarrassment. But I still sat up a little further and still held onto him. And without either of us saying a word, with my head down I watched him get inside me, and then slowly disappear.

I let out a kind of loud moan as I sat compeltly on him and resituated my legs to a comfortable position. I had my eyes closed and my head was still down so I couldn't see Kendall's face. However, something must have felt right because his face was near my neck and he was kissing it, as his hands roamed down and over my butt. One hand rubbed up my spine all the way to the back of my neck, before moving back down to my butt cheek. Slowly he lifted me off him, just to push me back down on him. I opened my eyes moving my hands fast and grabbed his face. I dug my fingernails sort of into his cheeks and we locked eyes and he started us in a slow, beautiful rythem.

I remember with James, it didn't last very long. And I cried. However with Kendall time just sort of disappeared. We remained looking at each other as I started to bounce on him, both his hands still holding onto my ass. Every now and then he would groan, or I would moan. Occassionaly he would kiss my lips, or I would suck on his neck, which I knew he loved. But we always went back to staring in each others eyes. I wanted to dive into the tiny green orbs, and relive this moment every day, for the rest of my life. I know alot of people say your high school love doesn't last forever, but with Kendall, as we started to reach our climax, I knew I would be with him forever. I didn't care how I had to make it work, it was going to work.

I came before him, becaue my thoughts tricked me. They kept telling me you love him, you love him...he loves you. That, with his hands gripping my ass, and his dick going in and out of me, made me loose it. I put my face in his neck and groaned loudly, trying to make sure I wasn't too loud to wake up Carlos's parents. When I had fianlly got myself back down to Earth, Kendall was kissing on my bare chest, bitting here and there to stiffle his screams. He became a little more rough as he hit into me and I knew he was cumming. I didn't mind the hard squeezing on my ass, or how hard he was pushing me down on him. I ran my hands throuh his hair and let him kiss my skin, milking him through his orgasm. When he got still and all I could hear was his heavy breathing I went still. I held around him, just as he did to me and we sat like that for a while. He finally pulled himself out of me, both of us groaning. I lowered my hands to his arms still around me and breathed out hard putting my forehead on his. His hands moved up my back and pulled me in closer to him. "I love you." He kissed my nose sweetly and gently pushed me off to the side. "Let me take this off." I nodded watching him push off the bed and sort of stumble to the bathroom. I sat back on my butt and stretched my body, lying down. I rubbed my eyes with my hands and yawned quietly reaching for his flannel to put back on. "I was better huh?" I opened my eyes and turned my head to him as he walked back to me, his sweats back up aroudn his waist. I chuckled as he jumped over me and laid sort of on top of me.

"You were better. I think we made love. James and I just screwed." He rolled his eyes glancing donw my still naked form and I opened my mouth to tell him I loved him but there were four sharp knocks to the bedroom door.

"Hey guys?" Logan's sort of loud voice boomed into the wood and Kendall shot off me fast.

"Logan! Be quiet!" I whispered it as I sat up and pulled on the flannel. Kendall tossed my panties to me and grabbed his sweater walking to the door.

"Relax your neck Emma. Carlos's parents left about a hour ago. Carlos's grandpa is sick." I frowned sliding my panties on and walked to the bathroom. "But that's not why I'm here. James and Mandy just showed up." I froze, hands on my yoga pants and looked at Kendall who was looking at me in the bathroom mirror. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah." I pulled my pants on, just as Logan appeared next to Kendall. I turned to him and he smirked looking between us. "Why are they here?" Logan chuckled and leaned agaisnt the wall putting his hands in his sweat pant pockets nodding to Kendall.

"That's a pretty big hickey on your neck there bro." Kendall touched it, smiling at me, making me smile back. "They want to talk. To you. And all of us I guess. I told them to fuck off but Carlos let them in." I sighed grabbing Kendall's hand and started to pull him to the door. "Nevermind...that hickey on her chest is bigger." I blushed tugging on Kendall and led him downstairs.

I stopped in the French doorway to the family room and tensed up. I could smell Mandy's perfume before I saw her. In fact as I scanned over the three people in the room, I didn't even see her. All I saw was James standing up, Carlos in front of him, and Katie looking at her phone. Logan walked past us and sat next to Katie on the love seat making her sigh at him, and scoot over. Kendall and I stayed standing in the doorway, one of his arms wrapped around my stomach, holding him back onto his chest. "Hey Em's..."

"What do you want?" Everyone looked at me and Kendall kissed the back of my head. "Is that vulture with you?" James smirked but shook his head, going back to his serious face. "If you are here with her, to force her to say sorry, don't waste your energy. And tell her not to waste her breath." I turned quick shoving past Kendall a little but stopped coming face to face with Mandy. She looked like hell. No...she looked like she got dragged through hell and then hit by a truck. I crossed my arms over my chest and she took a step towards me.

"Emma..."

"I don't care." I walked past her quick, but heard her follwoing me to the stairs.

"Emma please! Just listen for a minute!" I spun fast on the first step of the stairs and glared down at her.

"Listen? Listen to what? About how you didn't know you were screwing him? You didn't know how drunk he was or cared for that matter? How she tricked you into doing something?" Mandy was crying, and behidn her were our friends, and Kendall with Katie. "I don't buy it Mandy! You knew what you were doing because you wanted to hurt me! Well congratualtions! You did! And what's worse is that you have James fooled into thinking it was all Camille!" James stepped forward but Carlos and Logan stopped him. "James has been my best friend for years. Since I was born and he was that tiny little chubby 4 month old baby, he has been my best friend! And because you have some ridiculous spell on him, and Camille tore us apart...I lost him!" She looked down, covering her mouth crying out. "He tried to warn me that you two bitches were going to do something and you know what else he told me? That Camille poisioned you! But I don't buy it! I think you wanted all this to happen! She just made the first push!" I stepped off the last step and went right to her face. She looked up, fearful eyes and I shook my head at her. "I will never, ever forgive you for what you did to him. And if you ever try to tell me you were doing it to get back at me for sleeping with James i'm goign to kill you. James and I were very aware of what we were doing. We weren't tricked to do anything."

"Emma! Mandy was tricked too!" James's voice echoed throuh the hallway and for some reason it made me pissed off. I walked past her shoulder checking her as I went. Logan sort of stood up and got in my way but I shoved him. "Kendall isn't the only one who is affected by this! Get off your fucking high horse and listen to your best friend!" I don't know what came over me. Hearing him say that, and seeing Kendall giving him a weird, sad, almost scared look, made me snap. After all we've been through, after all the times James has let me cry on him because of any reason...he was yelling at me. He was telling me to calm down. So I snapped. I raised my rigth hand quick and made a fist, and hit him as hard as I could. Right in the mouth.

I was picked up from around the waist and pulled back, by Kendall who didn't really have to do much to seperate me. I glared at James with nothing but anger as he continued to stand and rub his jaw. I was wishing my hit was stronger and harder, to at least make him fall on the floor but it wasn't. And as Kendall set me down. still holding me, he looked me right in the eyes. It looked like he was going to start screaming again but Mandy got in front of me fast. Instead of looking at me, she looked at Kendall behind me. "Kendall...I'm sorry." Her voice was cracking from her tears and a little part of me felt bad. I was claming down and honestly hitting James made me get knocked back into reality. Before I coud say anything Kendall walked around me, held around Mandy and hugged her tight. SHe cried onto his chest and started sobbing inbetween tears. "I didn't want to do what I did...she kept giving me drinks and you were already drunk and then..."

"Shhhh. It's alright. I'm not...I'm not mad at you." I looked up to Kendall and watched him rock her as he pet through her hair and felt...love. I knew there was a reason I loved this guy. However, I still crossed my arms over my chest and mean mugged James who was looking at Mandy crying and shaking in Kendall's arms. I again, wished my hit made some kind of damage. However the only thing I really saw was a red mark on James's jaw on his right side. I wanted to be a bitch and make a comment about how his pretty side is fucked up now but Carlos's cracked voice stopped me.

"My grandpa died."

 **So I think there is only going to be a couple more chapters of this story. I have a nice little way of wrapping it up, but i'm curious to know if you guys think I should do a sequel? Also do oyu think reading teenage BTR or adult BTR? Let me know! Thanks for reading!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Emma's P.O.V.**

His hands on my body were so mind numbing I almost felt like we were back in bed, and nothing could bother us. He was being very genorous with rubbing my skin on my back and on my legs, it almost felt like he was trying to rub my skin off. I'd be fine with that. It didn't matter that we were in the back seat of his Cherokee, and his long legs were bent at weird positions. And especially to me, it didn't matter that we were in the school parking lot with at least 30 minutes before school started. All I cared about was lying on his body hodling onto him for dear life as we made out.

Ever since Saturday night, and we had sex, all I could feel was happiness. This guy had offically swept me off my feet and I felt like I finally had found my purpose in life. To make him happy. And there wasn't a thing in this world, I wouldn't do to prove that. And I think he felt the same way. Because he spent the night with me, last night, Matt being totally fine with it, and he let me fall asleep on him. He knows I'm a huge nerd and have to get a good nights sleep so we went to sleep early, but all I knew was I fell asleep on his chest, and woke up to his arms around me, head pressed tight over mine. "Okay..." His lips were off mine but I kept kissing down his neck and started sucking. "I need water baby girl. You're dehydrating me." I smirked as I sat up and pushed off him. He pulled himself up into a sitting postion and reached between the driver and passenger seat, grabbing his unopened bottle of water. He cracked it open, took a huge gulp and handed it to me. I greadily took it and sucked almost half of it down, sitting back, closing my eyes. "We sure fogged this place up." I lowered the bottle and opened my eyes looking around at the foggy windows. I gave him his water back and wiped at a window smirking at the few cars around us, that I could recognize. "Alright...come here." My head was turned and he started to kiss on my mouth but I pushed him back shaking my head.

"Carlos's car is here. Let's go see him...make sure he's okay." He sighed but nodded. I pushed open my door and got out of the back of his car, readjusting my black pants on my legs, and pushing my shirt back down on my torso. I quickly grabbed my jacket and pulled it on, shivering at the few snow flakes dropping around me. I also wrapped a scarf around my neck and shut the door going to the passenger door. I opened it up and smirked at Kendall's red cheeks and tiny hickies here and there on his neck. I grabbed my backpack, and my travel mug full of hot cocoa shutting the door as Kendall turned his car off. I turned and my smile fell seeing one of my best friends leaning on the hood of his car earbuds in, hands shoved in his pockets. He looked like he hand't slept since Saturday nigth and it broke my heart. I pushed away from Kendall's car, not waiting for him and went right to Carlos's side. I touched his arm, making him turn to me, and he gave me a sad smile. He pulled his earbuds out and shoved them in his jacket pocket. "How are you?"

"Cold." I frowned and he laughed looking over my head. "Do you guys ever stop making out? Logan and I got here about 5 minutes ago and saw you guys going to town." An arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me into a body I was always able to mold into. "So...my grandpa's funeral is Sunday. I'd really like for you guys to come. My grandpa always loved you Emma." My heart broke and all I could do was nod. I looked away at a fmailiar sounding car, Mandy's, and sighed out.

"He always called me mija. And always had that spicy candy, always forgetting I didn't like it." Carlos chuckled and I turned to him putting both my hands on his arm. "I'm so sorry Carlos. Whatever you need...Matt and I are here." He nodded quick turning away just as two sets of footsteps got next to us. I tensed up turning and forced a very painful smile at them. James and Mandy were looking at me, but turned thier attention to Carlos quick.

"How are you doing man?" I ignored James's voice and watched Mandy lunge forward and hug him. Carlos welcomed her hug andhugged back, tight closing his eyes. "Are you sure you wanna be at school?"

"Not much I can do now. He's already gone." My heart snapped again and I looked down. "His funeral is Sunday. I'd like for you guys to be there. You knwo my grandpa loved you James." I laughed quietly, knowing exactly what he meant. I turned into Kendall who was surprisnignly not looking at any of us. He was looking ahead of us and when my eyes followed his, I tensed up even more. Walking towards us was a huge group of football players, all with Logan leading them over. I quickly put an arm around Kendall and looked at his neck, swallowing hard. It wasn't that I didn't like the footballers here...I just don't think they liked Kendall. No matter what Carlos or Logan said they were always kind of dicks to him.

"Hey Los...we heard about your grandpa. I'm sorry for your loss." A few other guys echoed the first one's sympathy and I dared to glance at them. Logan had a hand on Carlos's shoulder who was smiling at his friends.

"Whatever you need man...we got you. If coach gets too much..."

"I apprecuate that...but i'll be alright. Being at school helps get my mind off it." A few of the guys nodded and everyone went queit. I turned again looking at Kendall who was looking down at me, smiling. I smiled up at him, and felt like reaching up and kissing him, but didn't because of our audiance. And before I could do anything one of the guys started talking making me again, tense up.

"So that homecoming dance...shit got crazy huh?" I turned and saw one of the guys, Ron, looking at me. "Cat fights...girls making out with guys way out of thier league." I sighed hearing Kendall do the same and hoped he kept his cool. "So what does that make it now? You two have fucked three out of the four guys in your group? It seems only fair you give Carlos some since he's grieving." I turned my firey gaze to James, hating that he told the whole school we had sex. "Although...I'm not surprised Mandy spread her legs...it's Emma that was surprising." Kendall made a move to push me aside but Logan sighed standing in front of his friend.

"Shut up and go away. I'll see you guys at lunch." A few of the guys laughed, but Ron continued to stand there. "Ron...leave them alone."

"No it's fine. That's what happens when you have a small dick." Everyone turned to me and Ron smriked stepping forward.

"Well you would know wouldn't you slut?" Before anyone could say anything Mandy jumped up and shoved Ron by his shoulder.

"You wish Emma would give you the time of day. Tell us all again how you couldn't even last a minute with Ashley." Ron again made a movement foreard but James shoved him this time.

"The fuck bro...why don't you pull that leesh on your bitch and calm her the hell down." I walked forward and also shoved Ron who, surprising to me started to shove back. i was pushed alittle but wasn't really upset. "What...are you two bitches on the rag or something?"

"Call us bitchs again and I'm going to let James beat the shit out of you!" Mandy's voice was loud making Ron step back and look to Logan and Carlos for help. Both of them simply waved him away not saying a word. Ron turned and huffed out the whole way mkaing me quietly laugh. Mandy turned to me and I covered my laugh with a cough looking down. "Can you guys give us a minute?" I looked up at Mandy who was looking at me, with hopeful eyes. There was a kiss to my temple and a squeeze to my ass. I watched Kendall walk to Carlos, wrapping an arm aroudn his shoulders, pulling him along with Logan. I watched James sigh out, kind of sad and swallowed hard as he started to walk away.

"Wait..." James stopped and he turned to me. I looked between him and Mandy getting closer to them. "I'll listen this time Mandy but I just...I just want to tell you guys that you're my best friends and I don't want to loose you. I'm sorry for everything I've said...everythign I've done. I'm nto about to throw away our friendships just because we..." I stopped looking at James, but looked away quick.

"Em's..." My hands were grabbed and I looked up at Mandy who was smiling. "I love you. You are my sister. And I wish...I wish that bitch never got in my head. I really, really wish she would have drowned on Saturday but..." i laughed and she quickly moved in, hugging me tight. "I'm so sorry about what happened...about what I did...what I said to Kendall...to you. I'm so sorry." I hugged her back putting my chin on her shoulder and looked at James who was smiling at us. I sighed out and reached out, grabbing his coat, pulling him into us. He chuckled wrapping around us tight, and squeezed, lifting us off the gorund. I don't know how he was able to lift both of us, but he sat us down quick and I pulled away looking up at him.

"I'm sorry I punched you Saturday." James laughed throwing his head back making Mandy laugh with him.

"He was so mad Emma. But I think he was only mad because you didn't hit him very hard." I shoved James hard and huffed past him, not before Mandy linked arms with me lying her head on my shoulder. "I couldn't help but notice your man marked up quite a bit." I smirked blushing and looked down at her shaking my head.

"You should see me." Her mouth flew open and we both giggeled walking towards the other three, James now beside Mandy. "So...detention is going to suck." James shook his head and as we stopped by our friends and Kendall smirked, seeing Mandy and I close, he sighed.

"That's fucking bullshit you have to have it. I would have lost my shit too Logan." Logan shurrged drinking from a Starbucks cup and I turned to Mandy.

"I don't think I can clean the locker room with her. Alone." Mandy shook her head and let James wrap an arm around her waist.

"Camille left town." Everyone fell silent and I gave her a weird look. "Her mom got pissed getting that call from coach Saturday night. I had James come pick me up at the dance and while I was waiting for him she was calling me every name in the book. Well I guess Camille comes from a very religous, modest, conservative family that didn't like seeing what she was wearing, or how she was talking. When her dad found out about the fight she had, he decided to ship her off to her grandmothers house in Flordia. She's gone for good." It felt like the world was lifted off my shoulders and i let out a hard breath. "And as far as detention goes...I think I can figure something out for you. I have a way with coach." I shook my head walking to Kendall, jsut as the bell rang overhead. "See you at lunch baby girl!" I waved at my best friend as James started to pull me away and felt a burst of happiness explode through me.

My school day went by in a blur, happiness and love the only thing I was feeling. Lunch was back to its noraml thing. All of us huddeled around our tree, laughing, sharing our food. It felt amazing. And as we got closer to the end of the day, suddenly the happiness was starting to fade. I didn't want to be at school and I didn't want to deal wtih detention. Because I knew it would just be the coach telling me how disappointed he was in me. That hurt more than anything else. However as I walked into the gym and headed straight to the Coach's office, something was odd. Logan was standing in the doorway throwing a football between his hands, laughing. I walked up behind him and looked into Coach's office hearing him laugh. I gently pushed past Logan who grinned big at me and I smiled back. "Alright Emma...I don't know how you did it, or why your friends care this much...but you're going to have some company." I frowned and watched him turn off his computer screen and stand up from his desk. "Instead of cleanign the locker room, were going to be cleaning out the equitment room. And because I know you are very orginized, your going to help me keep it clean." I frowned throwing my backpack on the ground in his office and followed him out Logan wrapping an arm around my neck, pulling me into him. I crossed my arms over my stomach and looked past Coach hearing the gym doors open. Walking in, all laughing and talking loudly were four people, i seriously didn't think I could ever live without.

Kendall was walking in with James and Carlos beside him, while Mandy clung onto James's arm laughing at what Kendall was saying. "Okay...who wants to go get a broom and a mop from the janitor? Two of you are going to clean the gym floor, under the bleachers...the whole nine yards. The rest are going to help with the equipment room."

"We'll clean the floor." Logan let me go and moved to James shoving his chest. I watched in amazement as they walked away talking quietly and the other three set thier bags down.

"You guys got detention?" Kendall smirked walking to me and I looked to coach. "And you fell for whatever thing they did?" Kendall kissed my forehead but I shoved him away walking behind the Coach.

"Emma, if you guys get all this done today which is very easy to do, you dont have to come back the rest fo the week." Coach stopped and turned to me smiling small. "I know Camille was a pain in the ass. And I know you were defending yourself. You've always been a great student and person. You've kept my key players in line so they can continue to play and I appreciate that. Your friends and...Kendall..." A hand slipped around my waist and I blushed still looking at the coach. "They care about you. And they have your back. That's pretty rare in this place so...I applaud that. Now...help me keep this room organized and i'll take it easy on you in gym the rest of the year." Caoch turned back around and pulled open the two doors leading into our room with everything athletic inside. I sighed out looking at all the balls, the nets and the random crap all around, knowing we'd be here a while, but knowing how worth it was going to be.


End file.
